As soon as I look at myself playing Freecell that it is a process I trust to bring up topics I could write about, within a game, 3-4 minutes, a whole topic emerges.
It was there, it just needed to be called.
Last Saturday I had a tech teacher of mine on my 3-wishes workshop. I invited him, I comped him in, and he came.
I treated him special, and he got to see something about himself that he can now deal with. He saw that his fixed way of being with nearly anything is that he is resentful… while he could be grateful.
I went, as I always do, to his Friday class, and expected him to be grateful, or at least to have the kind of interaction that has made his class my favorite.
It didn’t happen.
He treated me just like he had always treated me, and treated others with a lot more eagerness than I liked.
In the end he felt puzzled about my non-participation: I sat sullenly at my other computer, playing… you guessed, Freecell.
But I felt slighted. I gave him a gift, and he didn’t even say thank you… not the way I would have gotten that he was grateful.
He lead his class, worked to give a lot of value, and… ahem… I didn’t appreciate it. lol.
He gave me what he had… and yet I felt unappreciated.
And that is what surfaced while I was waiting for a topic to surface…
In sitting here, mindlessly playing Freecell, I replayed the incident, but I looked it it from the sideways view (The Driftwood capacity) where I can see both parties and their emotions at the same time, with a neutral attitude. I didn’t take sides. I didn’t say one person’s self-concern is more important than the other’s.
Once you gain mastery over the distinctions of the ‘invisible reality’ I teach in detail in the 53 distinctions program, everything that creates not so pleasant feelings is a teaching moment, a teaching opportunity. Or learning, from your point of view.
Almost everything that we think about life, about ourselves, about everything was born in an upset moment. Most of what really sits below your conscious awareness, i.e. it is invisible to you, was born before you were 3 years old.
If we look at my feelings about this teacher and how he ‘treated me’, we can see that I have a huge desire to be treated special, to be grateful to for what I do or give, or I’ll feel unappreciated, or I’ll feel resentful, or I’ll want to take my marbles and go home. I’ll take myself away.
I don’t remember what incident started it… and I don’t have to. Any incident, someone not listening to me, someone not eating what I ‘cooked’, someone laughing when I talked could have triggered it. It is part of my soul corrections: I am special, I need to be treated as special, I need to be revered, celebrated, blah blah blah.
My soul correction is ‘Forget Thyself’. I am the Queen, and you are all peons… lol.
Judging from my teacher’s exercise result in the 3-wishes workshop, he got resentful for a whole different way: he imagined what he should get, a great life, lots of goodies, and he didn’t get it.
So he is resentful. He resents everything… it is only thinly veiled. He doesn’t know (yet) that he is just being run by a machine, a resentment machine. That the machine has a trigger, and unless arrested, it runs its full course, and deepens his sense of scarcity, his sense of not getting what he wants.
And his brave forced cheerful attempts at helping are designed to … ahem… buy him brownie points so eventually he hopes, he will be rewarded with getting what he wants.
Of course knowing it is not enough, but it is still 50% of the battle for a life that you can love.
In the first session of The Freedom Courses I’ll teach three things:
1. What prevents you from listening fully
2. What is the dynamic of the meaning making machine that covers up reality, creating your ‘personal reality’ which isn’t reality at all
3. And of course your racket… the main machine…
It will be this Sunday, tomorrow, at 2 pm EST… and it’s a webinar workshop. You need a microphone, and you need to get the gotowebinar.com software either on your desktop or on your phone. Both work. You’ll need to know how to unmute yourself, and how to raise your hand.
You can sign up to one session, or subscribe to the series. The sessions will be every two weeks. For now they will be on Sundays… but if there is enough demand, I will change it to another day.
The series is designed to take you from kindergarten to PhD in the area of your beingness. You know the difference a kindergarten age kid can do, and a PhD level person can do.
That the plan, to take you from hapless powerless effect to powerful cause. Someone who can cause their life, someone who can cause it powerfully.
What I can’t promise is an outcome. Two reasons why I can’t promise that: 1. It is up to you, up to your comprehension, up to your diligence and discipline in practicing the distinctions… 2. outcome can never be promised. And if it could be promised, satisfaction, fulfillment would be the price…
Life is not a machine, you are.
So unless you are willing to do the practice for practice sake, for mastery’s sake, this course won’t work for you. If you want magic and miracles, more money, success, etc. these are not the right motivations to do this course.
If I had to come up with one motivator that works, I would say: living a life you love and live it powerfully.
Is that what’s attainable through doing these courses as a practice? Yes. exactly.
And one of the keys is to learn how to recognize what invisible move of the machine is trying to drag you down, and know how to disable it. Priceless.
Because if you asked, after looking at my machine wanting to be appreciated, and my teacher’s machine wanting to get what he wants, unable to appreciate what he has, I am not slighted any more, and I can love his for who he is, for what he provides, and not worry about what he doesn’t.
See, this is how fast a person with a PhD disengages an upcoming misery…