Gurus, teachers, everyone and their brother say: you have to get a big why to become successful at anything.
Relationships, slimming down, getting healthy, or raising your vibration, your IQ, your emotional intelligence… anything.
I dare to differ.
In my experience, 35 years in the trenches, watching, observing like a hawk, and going through it myself, I have come to the conclusion that your WHY is a flimsy thing…
Why? Because of what is underneath the visible.
And what is that?
What else? Fear. Fear is underneath your wanting to be safe, secure, comfortable and makes you complacent.
Fear of change, fear of not being enough, fear of not being able to handle it, ultimately fear of annihilation, fear of death.
You get inspired, motivated for a while, but then it all fizzles out… because the anchoring force is stronger.
So what can you do?
You need to invent something that is stronger than comfort, sense of safety, complacency… Fueled by fear and hate and defiance.
We have all heard about the mother who lifted a car off her child and saved the life of the child… Even if normally she would beat the child…
Was it love that gave her strength? I say ‘no’.
I say it was a strong urge to avoid death. Death of whom? Death of looking good. Death of feeling good about herself. Death of her precious ‘I’ that she is a good mother.
My mother ran when I injured myself and took me to the hospital… even though she hated me. But she hated the idea of being considered a bad mother more.
- I don’t love money. I am not motivated by success.
- I am motivated by hating failure. I hate the idea of being insignificant, inconsequential, just another nobody.
I hate it with a passion.
Hate gets me out of bed in the morning, before 4 am this morning.
Hate works like the strongest magnet ever… It counters tiredness, it counters the pull of the warm bed, it counters everything other people value more than what they said they wanted.
People with the highest desire score are the least successful, because they keep their attention on what they want, instead of what they don’t want.
Comfort, complacency tells me that you lost sight of what you don’t want… you feel safe.
Don’t. Stagnating, lingering, is probably the most despiriting way to live, even for a short time.
At the time it was ugh… not so pleasant. But in hindsight, those were the best times.
It is easier to remember when you are in the same state again, like I am now.
I am attempting to change my sleeping schedule… yet again. So I am tired, sore, and my eyes feel like I have sand in them. My stomach is talking too… not nicely either… lol.
And with comfort comes depression, with comfort comes intolerance to other people, with comfort comes wanting to be left alone.
I am stunned to what degree this is like an epidemic stronger than the virus.
In the Starting Point Measurements I measure to what degree you are inspirable and to what degree you are inspired at the time of the measuring.
- Mine is 70/30 right now.
- Two days ago when I started this ‘campaign’ to bring back aliveness to my life, by getting up so very early, my inspirablity was 30 and my inspired was 10. Not enough to be the leader of this movement from homo sapiens to human being.
Do I actually want to be inspired? If it cost so much discomfort, hell no. But something else must to be working, because I am getting up early. What is that? Hating the idea of being powerless. Hating the idea to be blah. Hating the idea of being uninspiring.
There is a difference between obsession, worrying about what you don’t want. In fact that behavior attracts what you don’t want… so don’t do it.
The way to be about what you don’t want is to turn your back at it… and use it as the wind in your back.
But instead, of course, they stare at what they don’t want, and of course that is all they have… what they don’t want. The fear, the resistance, the greed.
Makes them not nice people.
When you use what you don’t want, what you hate, what you want to avoid at all cost, you can use its energy. But don’t expect to move in a straight line… away from something can be as many as 360 degrees… and yet if you have just a little bit of direction, not more than what a refrigerator magnet gives you, you can set a direction, and move towards that… in zig zag if you must.
I have seen people having a vague and undefined ‘refrigerator magnet’ ‘I want my business to make enough money so that I can quit my day job’ gather enough energy from wanting to quit the day job, and enough direction, to succeed.
- The lower the hate, the less the results.
- The higher the desire, the less the results.
I keep my desire at an even 7 on a scale of 1-100. And my hate at a minimum of 70% on the same scale.
That second number is what I call ambition, by the way.
Positive thinkers, law of attraction advocates all have high desire and low ambition.
Your main job if you want to amount to something, if you want to have a life that is inspired, is to stoke the fire of the hate…
For me it is for having a life that didn’t amount to much.
What is it for you?
The future is not ‘going towards what you want, it is going away from what you don’t… and it requires a strong declaration.
When I said: there is no way I am going to be anything less than magnificent, I was going away from anything not magnificent: complacency, reasonableness, comfort, settling for less, laziness, lying, cutting corners, etc. It was not about becoming magnificent: I still have no idea what magnificent would look like, and I don’t care. It was a hate statement: anything that is less than magnificent was hateful to me.
It still is.
And it should be for you too.
I honor myself as if my life depended on it… and it does.
I honor my word as myself… as if my life depended on it… and it does.
If you are uninspired, blah, you are not alone. Making your blood move, becoming someone who has a future is more important than ever before… your life depends on it. Treat it that way.
Start hating complacency, lack of inspiration, comfort… and let it fuel you.
It may take some practice, but you can do it… remember, your life depends on it.
You want to be alert, and ready for anything… And feel great about yourself.
In the Instant Coherence Workshop you’ll learn how to become that kind of person, always on, always ready, always inspired… living a life that you can love and live it powerfully.
Learn to live your life coherently
YOU, on the other hand say ‘I can’t live with that’ but do. No energy in that statement. I urge you to learn productive hate. Come to the class.