In this article we’ll look at some ways… it is not one way… not as simple as most say it is. There are five trillion pages saying ‘get out of your own way’ and and none of them goes below the visible… ugh.
I just read an article… It claims to be about Gen Z…
Gen-Z Has a Bad Case of “Main Character Syndrome”
Young people are pretending to be the protagonists in the movie version of their lives
I didn’t know what Gen Z was… and still don’t. I know one thing: this self-view is not limited to Gen Z at all.
What do I mean ‘out of your own way?’
You don’t know but if and when you are a main character in the movie of your life, you are the directory, the script writer and the ‘protagonist’… hey, I had to look that word up… it is the same thing as main character.
The story has to closely adhere to the self-image of the main character… depict its heroism, its cowardice, its lack of character, or its inadequacy, or whatever is the character most ‘famous’ for.
Inadequacy and behaving if it were something wrong is one of the driving forces in the storyboard… you either hide it, or heroically beat it… but either way, inadequacy rules the day.
I don’t know in which century, in which generation that became the norm, but here is an ancient piece of knowledge: there is nothing wrong with being inadequate in one, or more areas of life… it is NORMAL.
In fact we could say that all of life could be the story of building oneself through inadequacies to become all you can become.
If and when you can look at an inadequacy as a challenge. Not like a shouldn’t be.
You are born with zero skills… and then, depending on your upbringing, depending on your level of curiosity, depending on the level of your ambition, you’ll attempt to do things, find out things, and you raise your adequacy in some areas, and remain completely inadequate in other areas.
So inadequacy as a fact and inadequacy as a sense about the self remain throughout life… unless, of course, you choose a life path for yourself that doesn’t challenge you, and you are lucky that life agrees to the life path that you chose.
And life rarely agrees.
Now, if you chose to be a minor character in your ‘movie’ that would be OK… you would have the time, the courage, the energy to handle life at best you can, learn new skills, and be OK with being a beginner, an intermediate, or whatever you are in your level of adequacy.
But of course if you think that all eyes are on you, you would never actually learn any skills, you would never actually allow yourself to show that you are inadequate, you would always choose to do what makes you look good.
And that means, you would live a life of lie, pretense, and utter unhappiness.
Your TLB, by the way, tells the whole story…
TLB stands for the courage, the strength, the resilience you have in the face of something that seems bigger than you, that can whoop your ass… your inadequacies and the discomfort you feel, for sure, for being such an inadequate person…
But the moment you get out of the ‘protagonist’ role, where it is more important how you look than anything, if you can get out of your own way, then you find that the discomfort or the pain of having to learn something new, or potentially being seen as inadequate as you really are gets bearable. It so diminishes that you can actually have pleasure in learning, pleasure in interacting, and life can even go your way.
The whole Soaring Method course is about methods you can get out of your own way…
When you are soaring, the goal of the course, you don’t find yourself behind your eyeballs, you are not there, you are somewhere else… and this way your script doesn’t block life from doing what life does best: change.
I shared on yesterday’s call an incident where I had a dentist appointment right before I had to do a presentation, so I asked the dentist to perform the procedure without anesthesia.
The doctor was puzzled, but conformed to my request.
What I did is entered soaring with one of the methods I teach, and I felt nothing: I wasn’t there to feel… I was soaring, landing on different items in the room, but never in my body.
The ‘I’ that feels, the ‘I’ that is concerned wasn’t in my body. So there was no one there to feel the pain.
If a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to hear it: does it make a sound? The answer is ‘no’… because for sound to be, someone needs to hear it… The same is with pain… unless someone feels it, there is no pain.
And insult, and frustrating things, and all the things we want to not feel… it is entirely up to you… and whether you intend to soar, whether to intend to be a magician, or a hapless victim.
Soaring, the art, the methods, can be learned relatively easily. The most important element is to be willing to get out of your own way… to be willing to be somewhere else so life can have a chance to work.
You need to become someone who is such that the grass grows even though you tread there.
And for most people that is nearly impossible… I hope you are an exception… because life becomes a celebration when you manage to be that kind of person.
If you want to get the recordings of the current Soaring Method course, you can.
And if you want you can pay for email coaching. How does email coaching work? You do all the homework you need to do, and email it to me… and I’ll email you back. When something is not quite clear, you can ask for explanation. Examples.
But all in all: you initiate it… I do not. I only answer. That is how it works.
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PS: No matter what anybody says: you cannot change beliefs. Once a belief it is always there. thus far I have found one monumentally successful way to change your actions so they don’t come from your dominant belief, and that is the Soaring Method… You owe it to yourself to learn it.