- getting to the coaching calls
- answering my questions
- wondering if they did the right homework
When I asked them what the feeling was, ultimately the answer was: they were afraid to say the wrong thing. They were afraid of me.
It didn’t make sense to me. As a coach I want you to get on the call and have something that you are wrong or stupid about: that is what coaching is: if you are already great, what is the sense of getting coaching? Yeah, but…
Finally, last night, while reading my third Neal Stephenson book, I found an answer that is like an opening for me. 1
You see, unless you get to the bottom cause of any distress, you can’t do anything about it. This is why most things don’t work. Even if a given technology would work, if and when it depends on the practitioner/leader/coach AND the participant’s willingness to see the root, the technology will work on the effect rather than on the cause.
To make it clear I will use again the tree analogy. The seed is the cause. The seed has the finished picture of a tree already imprinted in its DNA. Everything else, including the roots, are effect. Lots of effects… layer after infinite layer of effects.
Worrying about sounding stupid is an effect.
What I found out in the Neal Stephenson book is this: ultimately everything, in society, boils down to being liked, approved of. That’s what we want, and that is what we use as a guide to maneuver through life.
What kind of life does worrying about being liked give you? A small, fearful, cautious life. Instead of expanding, boldly, into territories where you’ll be wrong and stupid, and clumsy, and learn, and learn and learn, and ultimately grow and expand, you’ll do the reasonable things: do the things you already know how to do, and ultimately shrink. It makes you a coward, and a beggar… and half dead to boot.
Some soul-corrections have it worse than others, I think “Silent Partner” has it worst, “See The Big Picture” is second worst.
Until you get it on all levels of being that betting being liked 24/7 is like betting on the snow staying around in Syracuse, NY… where every snow fall is followed by a thawing, reliably, like clockwork. I’ve lived here for 13 years, and snow has never stuck around for longer than a week, before it melted.
That being liked is like fool’s gold… looks good but has no value.
The world, Life belongs to the daring, the bold, the audacious, the one that has the courage to grow, to be an expanding human being.
But what if you can’t be courageous because you are still gripped by this fear of losing affection, being judged, not being liked?
Only free people can be courageous. Your problem is that you are not free… you are a hostage to being liked… a Stockholm Syndrome kind of relationship with it. It’s the enemy but you keep rubbing up to it… to please it, to curry favors.
The activator you need to use is the Unconditional Love Activator. You need to get it at least 40%. Less than that? you are still a hostage. I hate to break it to you…
If you buy any version of the Unconditional Love Activator AND I can be sure that you are using the Heaven on Earth or the Sleep Rescue,
I will give you a free webinar where I will download the Unconditional Love Activator LIVE to you… even the replay will work, and work well, so don’t worry about the times.
If you are already using both, you don’t need to buy it again. But I need to make sure that you do use your activator and remedy… or all bets are off. Just owning them doesn’t qualify you.
I will approve every person manually, give me a few hours.
Here is the link to register: