Entrepreneurial desires, self-sabotage and the Selfish Gene

entrepreneurial desiresThis article is intended for people who are or want to become entrepreneurs… in its simplest form: create, run, and make money with a business.

I think I don’t have to go into details about entrepreneurial desires… if you don’t have it, realized or unrealized, you would not be reading this article. That desire is what drives a person to the seemingly easy, seemingly profitable lifestyle that we call entrepreneur.

I would risk saying this: it is a desire for self-expression. The self wanting to express itself. And that flies in the face of what the organism wants… the Selfish Genes.

And although some of you have probably overcome some of your self-sabotaging tendencies those never go away, because they are fueled by the Selfish Genes.

Self-sabotage is normal. A dime a dozen. Ordinary. Huh?

Yeah. Humans are not well-built to go for what they want and succeed. Instead humans are built to go for what makes them remain the same, what makes them prove that they are not good enough, not able to do it, can’t concentrate, etc. Humans are a vehicle for the Selfish Genes.

What we often see, on the surface, is procrastination.

Procrastination, just like self-sabotage is normal. Huh?

Yeah, humans don’t want to give up their hopes and their dreams, so they avoid testing their dream in reality… It is easier and less painful to not take any action or not take enough action about the dream, not do enough of what is theirs to do; not enough to get proof positive that they can’t succeed.

The loss of a dream feels worse than keeping the dream and never having the result.

I lived like that for decades, not willing to challenge my dream, not willing to learn that maybe I can’t. And I have had clients who were like that. Preferring the dream to the result.

As long as your opinion about yourself, ‘not good enough’, ‘not lovable’, ‘not smart enough’, etc. keeps you hostage, your chances of doing what you need to do and do it consistently and well are quite unlikely.

Another kind of made up opinion is about the world and you. Recently I have been coaching a woman doctor who wants to add a second specialty, a real moneymaker, to her already profitable practice.

Her made up opinion about herself and the world has been

I don’t have enough/I am not enough therefore I can’t have freedom, I can’t have what I want, someone will always tell me what to do.’

After working with me for a while, finally she has settled into effective actions building a foundation for a second and maybe even third lucrative specialty.

Except her original self-image, the crucial ingredient in her lifescript kicks in every two or three weeks, attempting to take her off the path.

The trigger is greed.

Greed for limitless, free, effortless income and time to do fun stuff, like travel, sports, etc.

I recognize it in myself.

This greed starts the movement of the lifescript machine: you feel excited, you feel free, and bamm, the machine starts to turn and crushes you. You are back to nothing, someone is telling you what to do, no freedom, no fun.

We all live inside a lifescript machine, unaware that we made it up the script.

My lifescript is: I am not lovable. I don’t belong. I am not appreciated

I intentionally trigger it often to learn how it works, to learn how it feels, to learn to be with the fear… I interrupt speakers, I make inappropriate comments, I behave often like a real a-hole… and then observe, tame myself, prevent the machine to swing into full action past the trigger. I watch for the greed.

I used to have this same behavior but end differently end with disastrous consequences. Ever since I learned the moves of this machine, called lifescript, I have been able to trigger the script and arrest the machine so it doesn’t go full cycle, it doesn’t get to the punishment.

Except yesterday.

This dude asked to have a conversation about my breakthrough: being able to make 50% of my buyers consume what they bought…

I felt happy and excited.

GREED for recognition, greed to fully express myself to a fellow entrepreneur. We set a time and date… and he didn’t show up. He emailed me five hours later to apologize. But by then the machine went full circle.

So no, you cannot disable the machine.

We all live in a machine. If you resist the machine: it chews you up. You feed the machine: it chews you up. You manage yourself and don’t resist… it will let you live. You manage yourself and the machine, you learn to arrest the machine… Yesterday I didn’t. Didn’t arrest the machine.

The machine is a shapeshifter. It will appear innocent, it will appear different each and every time. It will talk: This time it will be different. Your time has come. Your ship has come in. No, it is all the same machine.

Huh?

Yeah.

I felt I already set pretty, I didn’t need to worry myself about the machine. I felt that I was no longer that person who thought and fretted about not being loved, not belonging. I thought that I really didn’t give a flying fig whether I was liked or not. Whether I could express myself or not. I was wrong. I was… I am.

Don’t be mistaken though, this was the first time the machine kicked in and managed to go full cycle in two years… And it didn’t destroy my business… it just felt bad. And it used to go off many times a year leaving destruction in its path. So I’d felt that I was free from the machine.

For two whole years it felt that way. I felt reasonably free.

Before that ‘two years ago’ I had been trying to get free from my script… forever. I had been creating and leading workshops based on what I learned in different programs, based on what I had experienced, and what I gleaned from my experience with people as an empath.

And yet, despite all that work, for myself and for others, I was unhappy. I still kept cutting the tree branch I sat on. I tested everything I taught on myself first and unless it worked I didn’t teach it. but nothing worked consistently on the lifescript and the greed to be significant, to be acknowledged, appreciated…

the soaring methodIn 2012 I read a book written by two Russian dudes… I created a course from it, The Soaring Method, and taught it as part of my Second Phase activators course and something magical happened.

I began having fun… whereas until that point fun was something I didn’t know.

I felt less miserable, and to boot: my clients suddenly started to do better.

And although I continued having fun, my clients stopped having the kind of results the programs can provide. Their life script was working full speed, and it didn’t allow it.

circling the doomIn 2015 one night I saw in a dream, how we all circle the drain as if we were anchored to it somehow, not able to play the whole field outside of that darn tight circle around the drain I called ‘our doom’.

break for freedomAs an energy practitioner I could pull the anchor… and I started to get a whole lot freer… a whole lot happier.

Then it went away.

But I didn’t see any difference in my clients and students.

None of the methods by themselves produced lasting results. Temporary? yeah… lasting… no. Until this year… hopefully.

Then this year I decided to combine the Russian Dudes’ method course with the circling the drain method… and voila… the magic repeated itself, but this time not just for me, but for at least a while for every participant, and for 50% of the participants it’s been lasting… So far… (Although in my private coaching a third method is emerging: the catching the trigger… But it is not ready to be taught, yet.)

Combining those two methods, (pulling the anchor to doom and the Soaring Method)  energetically and intellectually does something that then can be managed…

…it removes the urge to self-sabotage and allows the desire to be pure desire, a desire to accomplish, to go for what it aims at.

It seems that human nature is to live inside a tightly wound machinelike existence… on one hand to avoid the doom, on the other hand greed.

I cannot say with full responsibility that I have found the philosopher’s stone: the sample size is too small. The time has been too short. And that darn machine didn’t go away… Because it can’t.

But if I haven’t found the Philosopher’s Stone: I am darn near…

As always, you learn more from failures than successes… So let’s look at some of my failures, shall we?

Part 2

What can prevent you from reaping the benefits of being unshackled from the doom and seeing yourself in a different light?

Obviously this is a 20/20 hindsight:

One of my most painful failures at ‘turning’ a guppy into a great white shark is Jamal, not his real name.

Jamal’s story

He is from a middle class family. He has bigger brothers. He was the apple of his mother’s eye, cuddled, protected. But he could see that his brothers could and he couldn’t… They were older and also he was a sickly child.

He felt left out, left behind, not smart enough to run with the big boys. So he invented for himself instant gratification stuff, like con and crime, and never found out that successful people actually work for what they want.

He has given up crime, but I don’t think he has ever given up con.

Getting a new identity could not stick… not enough good feelings… because who wants to work?! Right? You can fail, you can spend all your time and effort and still don’t produce results.

Another important factor with Jamal was: after every ‘intervention’, he went back to the environment to be immediately pulled back to his previous identity: Con works.

It is very hard to change yourself if your environment continues interacting with your old self, as who you used to be.

Christopher’s story

The second failure of mine I’ll call him Christopher… He had no chance: he lives with a woman who could not risk for him to change, so she manipulated him even into quitting the course… because people who depend on you, and she does depends on him, will be afraid to allow you to change.

No matter how many times I warn people not to announce, not to share, not to tell others what they are up to, they can’t keep their mouth shut.

We all have this childish idea that people are good and they are on our side, they want the best for us.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

Humans, by design, only really care about two things: their own survival, and about their genes’ survival.

And no religion, no education can change that enough for humans to change.

Humans instinctively hate their betters… because they make them feel less, they compare themselves to them and come up short.

Really successful people have mastermind groups to share with, not their families! Not their childhood friends…

Even some coaches will try to keep you down. Therapists. Teachers.

Part 3.

Is changing your mind enough to change your life?

Many people advertise that they can change your beliefs about money, etc. And although they promise you the sky, they deliver dirt… Because the method doesn’t work. It can’t.

First off: it is not your mind, not your beliefs that needs to change. You need to change what you see… and what you see doesn’t change just because you say something different. You’ll actually have to change something in the visible for this to stick.

Your behavior.

So you can now see why people never change, why poor people remain poor and rich people get richer.

Unless the behavior changes, nothing else can change.

So there you have it… the three-prong secret of changing your life. Because unless you change who you are, unless you change your behavior, nothing will change.  Unless to get worse.

I have been observing and storing away what I see for decades now. The more I see deeply, not through my judgment, the more the case studies of people educate me about how the lifescript machine works, and what triggers its move when it chews you and your business up.

I observe everyone… including my teachers and coaches… I am ruthless in this regard. Teachers and coaches are run by the same lifescript a you and me.

Observing, clinically, is not the faint of heart… You can’t help the people you observe, and you watch them self-destruct.

You can only help the ones who come to you for help. And often you can’t even help those, unless… Unless they are ready and willing.

So how can you be a part of this three-prong life changing method?

First off: be aware that this is a long process… For new habits to become innate, you need time, time to experiment, time to create new habit-stacks, so no, it is not instant.

What is instant is the first part of the program where I deliver the first two prongs. Occasionally even that is not that instant.

Why? Because you need to remember something empowering and you don’t… Or you resist being empowered. Or you don’t internalize what that empowering thing does to your self-image. Or secretly you hope you can prove that you are the exception and nothing works on you.

So yeah, it’s not instant.

Can I guarantee the results? Muscle test says that 50% is going to get what they need. The other 50%: they have too much vested interest in remaining the same.

If you prefer comfort and safety to fulfillment, you are not a good candidate for this method.

So how is this program delivered?

You will get one maybe two live calls to establish the first two prongs… and five recorded sessions of the Soaring Method. You can start immediately or whenever you are ready for the behavior modification module.

If you have done the Soaring Method live, and you haven’t had the results you hoped you’d get, please sign up again… and do the first session again with the new group. Repetition is the mother of learning.

There is no sales letter. You can search my site on ‘anchor to doom‘, and ‘soaring method‘, to learn more. I don’t know if I even want to make a sales letter. If you need to be sold, then maybe you shouldn’t buy.

Because this is so important to me, I am willing to have a class even if there are only two people… and therefore I’ll have several first session dates, some on weeknights, some on Sundays to match time zones.

You can sign up, and if it is needed, I’ll create a session for your timezone…


Sign up to the 3prong method

Author: Sophie Benshitta Maven

True empath, award winning architect, magazine publisher, transformational and spiritual coach and teacher, self declared Avatar

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