… said Henry Ford in 1909 to his sales people… From Quora
The phenomenon of wanting to please everyone, wanting everyone to like you… is the hallmark of slavish people, needy people, who can’t and won’t be successful at anything.
If you are an entrepreneur, unless you rein this neediness in, and internalize that no one needs to like you… you won’t be successful… because slaves are never successful.
Who are the people who really choose providers, coaches, teachers by who they like are the same people who won’t like you if and when you do what you need to do to take care of yourself. They consider you fodder… ‘I like my meat well done… I like my trainer to be nice, naive, and putty in my hands.’
Same if you are a whore of sorts… …If you want to be liked by everyone you’ll allow everyone to screw you when they have the urge.
So no. Being liked is highly overrated, and a very childish notion.
Children, I understand. They depend on others for everything: sustenance, touch, clothing, shelter… so not being disliked to the degree that they can dislike someone: I see the point in that.
But to do things say things, smile, laugh agreeably, to be liked… I don’t really get it.
I had a happy childhood peppered with beatings, not being fed, left out in the street to fend for myself… But the life force is strong in a child and it was strong in me… even while my body wasn’t always cooperating. I was happy. I laughed. I played. I climbed trees. Jumped fences. zoomed down the slope in sleds, on the handlebar of bicycles. Competed with the boys who can pee furthest. Cooked dinner for my family when needed. Read books under the cover with a flashlight. I got beaten, called names, violated, but I was happy.
Never begged to be liked, never laughed to be agreeable.
Now many decades later I can tell you that not depending on others and circumstances to make me happy made me stronger, resilient, and appreciate the knowledge, the skills, the ‘I am here for me’ I am not afraid to say, no matter how it rubs someone.
And when I look back, the abuse continued until I gave up being afraid of being outcasted from places where I found some comfort.
I know, I know, you want comfort, and everyone does… It’s OK. But to trade what you really want for comfort, success, fulfillment, mattering, making a difference in the world… yeah, you’ve been giving that up too… or limiting to what you can get while your main purpose is to remain comfortable.
And it’s everywhere.
Yesterday I was at the first session of an online course on creating software.
Software is not my bag of tricks, although when I need one, I either find one or tweak something to do exactly what I need done.
When I was a magazine publisher I did that. It turned out that had I hired a ‘real’ programmer, I could have made big money selling it… all small magazines did the work of laying out the pages, remembering the advertisers and how long their contract lasted, billing, keeping track of the articles, etc. they tried to do all that work on paper, and it is mind-bogglingly complicated.
So I had a software method for that. But I wasn’t in the software business… so I didn’t sell it.
I also have a software method to help me keep track of what and when needs to be updated… my sites, etc. But I am still not in the software business.
And although I am now old I need to learn some new ways to help me with something that is very important to me.
What is that?
You know, it is one thing to teach, it is one thing to tell people to do something, but unless I am an eight armed Durga, or Shiva with the four arms, I can’t do it.
And because the results do not come from what you learned, they do not even come from your capacities that I enhanced or not, they come from your work, me making sure that you do the work, checking if you are doing it or not is crucially important to me.
- I have written over five thousand meaty articles. They do not make a difference, cannot make a difference unless you see something from them that is an action and you actually take it.
- I have hundreds of courses, seminars, workshops, energy products. They do not make a difference unless you see something from them that you can do… and you then do it.
My intention for you is to be successful, to grow, to expand, to become closer to who you were meant to be. The pathway to that is purposeful actions… to accomplish projects with a specific measurable result.
The path to the top leads through projects. Projects are made from tasks, most are repetitive.
And unless someone holds you accountable on the way, you will stop and never grow, never expand, never get closer to where you were meant to be, you’ll never become who you were meant to be.
And my life, my efforts were for naught… I didn’t make a difference.
So although teaching is my main passion, I am not that little girl who lines up her toys and lectures them. I was that for decades, and it wasn’t fulfilling.
I am still hungry for fulfillment. And for that I need something to keep YOUR nose to the grindstone, so when you promise something you’ll keep your word, and get the job done… step by tiny step, all the way to the top.
So I am planning of creating a software that will help you to self-manage. To keep yourself accountable. And even though it is not a person you want to please, ultimately you don’t want to please anyone other than yourself and your god if you have one.
I just had this interesting conversation with Source.
me: do you care about me? meh
do you care about what I do? yes
do you love me? NO
are you my mentor? no
are you my god? no
are you my accountability partner? yes
So that is the kind of software I am trying to build… an accountability partner. Totally one-sided… so you won’t have the kind of conspiracy some of my students have had: I won’t tell on you if you won’t tell on me… the conspiracy that I didn’t catch it fast enough, and neither did anything much.
All of those cheaters are history now.
Nowadays I find new issues that will need to be addressed in that Source-like accountability partner.
One of the people in the ‘hero’ program where you do the work yourself to become more of who you were meant to be has come up with a new way to become unmanageable and make my life difficult.
He doesn’t listen, doesn’t read… just write.
How you do anything is how you do everything. so I had to send him an email to wake him up from his somnimbulence… That is sleepwalking… by the way. (note: turns out I was wrong… but that is neither here or there… this kind of stuff can happen)
Anyway, the hero program is essentially a one-on-one program, where you are the hero, and my job is only to look in on you from time to time…
It is in a private area, only you and me have access to it, so you don’t have to worry about privacy.
And it is very inexpensive.
You can come up with your own project, or I give you one.
One easy to do project is to listen to the 100 hours audio that takes you around the world of life and business… and the only thing you promise in the beginning is to listen to at least 30 minutes a day… When that, eventually becomes an uninterrupted habit, we may add, you or me, another project or habit…
Some people do the 4 daily tasks method…
And some again build a whole new business inside this system…
Small tasks can lead you to the mountaintop, from where you can see the Promised Land.
Nobody can take you anywhere that would matter. Nobody can do anything for you, give you anything that would make a difference. But one can guide you, help you to get to the mountaintop…
My job is to keep it alive for you that you can, that there IS a Promised Land, that it is worth working towards getting to the mountaintop even if you’ll only SEE the Promised Land.
Moses, and ancestor of mine, saw the Promised Land, but never entered. Those that have… arrived… and quickly went backwards in every way.
Arriving is the booby prize.
I have been climbing and climbing and climbing… and it’s been an incredible journey. No arriving, no comfort, no riches, no luxury would have given me what the journey has given me.
And I promise that you’ll look back at the journey and the daily tasks as the best part of your life, because it is not the arrival that is happy, it is the journey…
Anyway, the hero program accepts new people… people who have the two ‘bookend’ type of conditions: they hate where they are at… and they crave and desire where they could be.
Interestingly that dissatisfaction is what is the most crucial element, just like a jet engine, you best operate on being pushed. Without a push energy you don’t have enough motive power.
When I measure people’s motive power in the Starting Point Measurements, the numbers are all low… You need at least a 30 there for me to trust you to hang in there long enough for it to make a difference.
And obviously it is rare… especially because everyone wants you to be positive… ugh. If you ever wanted to feel, really feel what you are suppressing, just get the Agrimony Bach energy… horrid. Hard to survive. That is living like a chocolate chip while you are goat droppings…
Now that hurts, even just the words. And I intended for it to hurt.
I am going to record all the unpleasant healing feelings I call Bach Energies. I give credit where credit is due, credit to Dr. Edward Bach who came up with the idea and the first 38 of these energies.
The energies are homeopathic… they first amplify what’s there and then dissolve it. Like Agrimony…
You won’t ‘resonate’ with all the energies, only with the ones that are part of your makeup… Unfortunately, as an empath I have to feel all of them fully… really unpleasant.
I have innately only one that hasn’t been handled… grief. I am working on it.
What is your unresolved Bach Energy?
So what would be your most expeditious next step?
Well, there are many right steps, but in my humble opinion you’d be best off to clean up your inner world from the inclinations and bad reactions that make you not be able to reach your full potential.
The Bach Energies, used purposefully, are really effective at that.
These are the 3:
- The typical reaction you have to the world not giving you what you want.
- Right underneath the complaint is what you try to be but are not successful at.
- What is you linchpin missing or blockage?
Obviously each has a matching Bach Energy… You can add those energies in audio format to your purchase of the Bach Profile and use those audios to weaken or maybe even remove those inclinations or reactions
There will be other harmful things underneath, but most people will feel empowered when they are done… and then you will have the question again: what shall I do now? And then ask me… I’ll look for and answer for you.
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