Reactiveness: Hastiness coupled with easy resignation is the death of any dream.
Although you can kill a dream in many different ways… whether it is a dream for a superb business that allows you the time to work on the business and not in the business… whether it is a dream for self-expression, fulfillment, and making a difference, whether it is for fame and fortune, whether it is for health, vitality and mobility in your later years… you can kill it in many many many ways.
And god knows we do everything in our power to kill our dreams.
Is it conscious? Is it subconscious? I think it is arrogance. The unwillingness to learn. Arrogance is never conscious. A delusional worldview, a delusional self-view.
Let’s see what happens inside a person when they ‘kill their dreams’.
This observation, that people, most people, kill their dreams, was the foundation for the Anna Karenina Principle: Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way
You can substitute any and every way you want to achieve something, a dream, and the sentence is true. That is what makes it a principle.
We’ll look at the ‘unhappy family’ side… instead of trying to define what all happy families have in common, i.e. what is inside the box: happy family, we’ll concern ourselves with what is outside that makes happy family impossible.
Imagine a rectangle… everything you learned about a thing, like happiness, everything you imagine about happiness is inside that rectangle. Billions of words.
But if you really want happiness, whatever is inside the rectangle won’t give it to you. Why? Because the hundreds of things that you can do, even if you just do one of them, will rob you of happiness.
One of the things that you may have is that you feel that you are stupid, or that you don’t measure up.
But guess what? You can be happy and be stupid. You can be happy and not measure up.
Surprisingly what you say after the word ‘stupid’ or ‘don’t measure up’ is what keeps you unhappy.
It starts with a ‘therefore’.
The work we do here, what I attempt to teach you is to put a question mark after the therefore…
Does that mean that? And you’ll see, you’ll see many people whose life will prove it to you, the ‘it ain’t necessarily so’.
I was a magazine publisher when this insight hit me. I sold advertising space in my magazine, that is what paid me, my staff, the printing, etc. I was a young woman, with an accent, and I looked like I just got off the boat… Easy prey.
So they didn’t want to pay for their ads… Not everybody, mind you, only the richest ones, who also exploited their employees, their contractors… So they gave me checks on closed accounts, or promised to pay after the issue with their ad is printed.
This was 30 years ago. Some of those establishments are still in business, 30 years later. The ones that wanted to screw me over… they aren’t.
One thing was shared with all of those people: they weren’t very bright. But even the successful ones, looked at with my intellectual background, were just plain dumb.
But they were rich.
This is what allowed me to see that you can be stupid and it doesn’t prevent you from becoming rich. Very rich.
I felt that I was stupid, and I had, habitually, a therefore… I am stupid therefore I am always going to be poor.
Turns out that it isn’t so. If I am poor, the reason is somewhere else.
But when you have a crusty therefore, you flail, you try to be not what you think you are, and never actually look wider and deeper.
The purpose of distinguishing what you want is to gently remove all the behaviors that keep you outside of the rectangle ‘happy’ and when you removed most or all of the behavior outside, you distinguished and live the happy life.
Because this takes work and not assumptions, and learning, and all the stuff you do, people do, it is no wonder that there are so few happy people… or successful people… or healthy people… or anything people can put into that rectangle as a dream.
I have been looking at this, but only the last two-three years understanding the principle…
What I have found, so far, and have been able to modify my behavior are these:
I noticed that I have knee-jerk actions that want to prove that I am very very very smart. And when it turns out that I was wrong, or that it is doesn’t look good, I would immediately drop the task, the project, like a hot potato, and start something new.
Hasty all around.
OK… at this point I had a call, my Friday Distinctions podcast call with Bonnie.
I tried to explain how this works, and it is clear that this is not easy to understand.
The question is: what is so hard to understand? You feel things, you make up a meaning… i.e. turn the feelings into an emotion. The emotion is unpleasant. You want to fix it… because who the hell would want to feel that bad being stupid, or not enough, or not lovable, or whatever meaning you tend to add to things.
And then, those ‘compensating’ actions are the ones that destroy your life.
Huh? Yeah, the fix is the real problem, not the original thing you said was wrong.
During the call, looking at Bonnie’s and then other students’ chart, I saw that every single Bach Energy/Emotion is the result of some original happening, that you said was wrong.
What holds this construct together is that ‘wrong’.
Wrong with you, wrong with them, wrong with life.
Everything that says ‘no’ triggers that ‘wrong’ and one of the therefore interpretations…
Your father looked at you cross and you decided you are not enough for him? Today you will be headstrong, pretending to be nice, you’ll want to hoard everything, look towards a future that will never happen that fills you with dread, blah blah blah.
All from that ‘event’ of someone looking at you crossly.
And every time one of these habitual bad emotions comes up, you are back to being three years old and being wrong wrong wrong.
I ran the Playground program twice, the second time for a year and a half… and not one of the participants was able or willing to remove the wrong from their reality.
Now I am approaching it from a different direction: I want to remove the meaning of guiding feelings… disgust, fear, etc… so the habitual emotions that you feel need to be fixed will be absent form your experience.
How am I going about it?
I use the exact energy signatures of 48 emotions to do the work.
You use the individual Bach Energies to weaken, maybe even disappear the emotion, even though it won’t touch the guidance feeling.
If you do it without guidance, and without consciously paying attention to what is happening, you’ll get 10% new freedom from behaviors that try to fix the emotions… that destroy your life.
If you do it with awareness, you get 30% freedom
If you do it with awareness and guidance: you can get 70-100% freedom. The number depends on your level of integrity.
Awareness without the energies will do nothing for you. Unfortunately.
I am offering a fast start discount for people who are able to grasp the significance of this new technology, this new energetic process of raising your consciousness, vibration, accuracy, and astuteness.
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