Most every successful person either had a sounding board or a coach to discuss stuff with. Someone who had no vested interest in the results.
Why is that an important detail?
Because when someone has a vested interest, i.e. if the project goes one way they win, if it goes the other way they won’t… they are not able to support you to make a decision that doesn’t make them richer.
Someone to be able to help and support you, they have to be ZERO. Your project has to be NOT about them…
The client, you, need to be free to select a direction, and action, freely, after consideration.
If you think your coach or friend doesn’t want what you want… you won’t be able to use them as a sounding board effectively.
You’ll have to find someone else.
On the other hand, often you are mistaken.
In my conversation with a client I found out that she thought that I don’t want her to have money as what she wants, even though that is what she wants. More money.
So she withheld. She tried to please me instead of using me as the guide, coach, support I am.
The job of a coach, a coach with integrity, is to want for you what you want for yourself, and offer guidance in how to attain it.
In my kind of coaching the way I can support you in getting what you want is two ways:
- As a business person myself, as someone who has been an entrepreneur for about 40 years, one credit short of an MBA… I can help you through business problems… marketing, selling, setting things up, etc.
- and as a mindset coach I can coach you to become the kind of person who can have the results you want. Money, fame, fortune, significance, fulfillment, notoriety, whatever.
T. Harv Eker famously said, and I paraphrase: I made millions of dollars. But what I appreciate most is becoming the kind of person who could do that.
All businesses that fail fail because of mindset issues. And you can safely say: all businesses that succeed succeed because of mindset.
My personal preference doesn’t play any role in how I coach you in a project…
Whether it is a personal project or a business project.
And if you are doing something that my integrity cannot support me in doing, I let you know.
So please don’t think that you have to please me… it will interfere with my ability to coach you and your ability to accept coaching.
Same applies to holidays.
I am not a fan of holidays. But I want you to have what YOU want. If you want a spectacular Thanksgiving holiday, I support you in that.
I don’t… but I want for you what you want for yourself.
He decided that the first step would be to see himself as a person.
I recommended that he does that…
And the first step to see yourself as a person is to start seeing others as a person.
I shared with him that if I had a chance to see and talk to people, I would ask
‘What question would you like me to ask of you, something that no one asks… so you haven’t been able to express yourself?‘
I am not saying that he can pull this off, but that is and questions like that are the ultimate way to honor a person as a person.
I remember when in a class, decades ago, we needed to ask the other person: ‘what would you like to be acknowledged for?‘ and then acknowledge them exactly for that with the words they said they wanted to hear.
I remember crying…
And now that I have said all that… I want to ask you, the reader, to answer either or both of those questions. Whether I know you or not, I’d love to get your email answer.
- Question 1: what question would you like me to ask of you, something that no one asks… so you haven’t been able to express yourself?
- Question 2: what would you like to be acknowledged for?
It is private, and unless you expressly say so, I won’t share your answer. It is between you and me.
Let this be my Thanksgiving gift to you.
Email your answers to sophie at yourvibration.com