You are an object in a world of objects… like driftwood.
People treat you as an object too…
And you treat people as objects that stand in your way, bother you, and such. Or give you stuff… or entertain you. But not as a person with their own feelings
So how do you EVER get out of that object world and become a person?
And can you be a person in a world of objects where no one treats you like a person?
For me this question was answered in the Partnership Course, back in 2006.
The four sentences… that forever altered my life.
You live in a world of your own design
I am empowered by everything you do and say
I am for your empowerment
And I am empowered by that
What does that mean?
Practice compassion with other people’s pain and joy
Life inside your cocoon has only a few feelings, and they are all about you.
Every monster of any age had strong emotions just like you. What they didn’t have, and you can’t have inside your cocoon is compassion. Beauty. Even thoughts that are not about you.
That is what makes you low vibration, this is what makes you BORING.
Occasionally in the past I would ask people to identify what inspires them to tears, or to laugh… joy.
And in every single case, what I heard back made me sad.
Women did better, but in every case they looked at themselves instead of the person in the book or in the movie, and feel their feelings. Loss, sadness, disappointment, anger… whatever the person in the movie or in the book felt.
Even my most sensitive student.
So to make you more able to enjoy life, to more able to live fully, I recommend that you start feeling feelings that are not yours. New feelings.
I really loved the British TV series: ‘New Tricks’ up until one of the original characters got up and left the show.
Anyway, in one of the episodes (maybe it was another show? I can’t find the episode) a newly famous football star accidentally mows down another teenager. He can’t bear the guilt and hangs himself.
So this morning I was experiencing the feeling of the single mother, the mother of the mowed down teen… Loss, pain, grieving. Not for her son per se. But for all the care, work, sleepless nights that went into raising a son… for nothing.
Feel it. Cry with her. Rage with her.
Let it enrich, enlighten, or at least endarken you… I stole this last line from an email that just hit my inbox.
Become emotionally flexible. Allow emotions, feelings that didn’t rise because of words, to come up, from nothing, like clouds that come and go.
When I started this article, the sky in front of my window was splattered with puffy clouds. No I see no clouds… they are gone.
Allow the world, other people, penetrate your cocoon.
The more you are about yourself the less – I promise – fun you’ll have, the less successful you’ll be, the less you’ll love yourself and your life.
The less you’ll be interested in the journey and the more you’ll fixate on the end result…
Why? Because you are boring and bored.
Life is beautiful… the everyday… the ordinary… today, tomorrow… But if you are fixated on the someday, you won’t enjoy it, and you won’t EVER get to that someday.
When you have stars in your eyes, you cannot see anything else.
You don’t see the path other than straight and not fun.
It is not predictable where you are going to end up… if you choose the journey… instead of the destination.
If you choose the destination, a fixed win in the future, you may get there, and you’ll be wretched…
Your life and your victory will be hollow… as YOU are. Hollow.
One of the things I did well in my life is this… making sure that I was full… so my life will be full.
I got to what I love to do through several painful but educational twists and turns. I am not willing to share my twists publicly… because some of you may not be able to be with them… They are neither pretty, nor respectable by ‘respectable’ people.
I regret nothing. It is what it took for me to be able to teach so many different people… and to have compassion: feel WITH you, feel what YOU feel, and consider you… instead of myself.
Unless you can get out from behind your own eyeballs, life cannot change. You see you have all your meanings, all your interpretations BEHIND YOUR EYEBALLS, and they are all about you.
And there even two is a crowd. You don’t even have room for one other person… Even a special other will have to be outside of your cone of vision… and you’ll never CARE, because you’ll never FEEL what it’s like for them being with you.
Hell on Earth… I say. Most of you, maybe even all of you.
I just hung up with my Sunday call partner, because he didn’t even take a break from his real life to actually be on the call with me for something worth being on a call FOR ME.
He was doing me a favor.
Do you think I want to talk to someone who is doing me a favor to talk to you? Think again.
And you shouldn’t either.
One of the principles that has served me is to say: I want to be where I am celebrated/appreciated, not where I am tolerated.
It has helped me to say no to people, it has helped me to leave groups, it has helped me behave with self-respect.
What is self-respect?
To see another person as a person, not as a thing… Whether you see them as a threatening thing, a useful thing, a prey, or even as a teacher, but not a person, you are not respecting them.
And if you see them as a thing, I am sure you see yourself as a thing… and not as a person.
When my Sunday partner, the one I ‘fired’ this morning played computer games for eight hours yesterday: was he considering himself a person? You think he did?
No, he treated himself as a thing. A thing that wanted to experience whatever a computer game gives people: mindless dopamine rush.
In the movie Office Space that was the issue: are you a thing or are you a person? Are you treated as a thing or are you treated as a person?
But until you can get out from behind your eyeballs, until you can feel what it’s like to be with you, you won’t be a person, and you won’t be treated as a person.
Practice it on movies first… and come back to report.
I’ll create a post with the movies I can give you to practice… maybe later today?
In the meantime, register in tomorrow’s workshop. I’ll make sure I’ll find the time to hear you out. It’s at 12:30 pm ET… that is New York…
I’ll add a segment where we look how to really have the ‘what are you building with that’ process in a way that it lights you up? And will check if you can feel another person’s feelings while they are doing it… it will be an interesting start.
Come to this free training