I have a friend. She is the person I probably talk to most frequently, and by virtue of that she should be a friend. She has also been helping me a lot. In fact, I needed her help
I am just one of the people she helps: she has a huge network of people she helps.
I need to remind myself every time I talk to her to make sure I stay someone who needs help, or she will do one of two things:
- Jinx my success…
- Stop being my “friend” (Much like when you are on welfare (public assistance) it holds you back to stay needy)
The person with the Evil Eye needs you to be less than her: she, himself, is unwilling or unable to accomplish anything of substance, because she is a coward. So she gathers an army of needy folks under her to throne over, so she can feel better about herself.
- You can be something, like a winner through your own work, through conquering something out there, or in here… growing, becoming and Expanding Human Being, taking risk, failing, dusting yourself off and keeping keeping on… or
- Win through another’s failure, misfortune.
When they ask in Landmark: Who loved to contribute? All hands go up. When they ask: Who loves to be contributed to? No hands go up.
What keeps your hands down, most likely, is that you feel that someone contributing to you pushes you down, makes you feel less, and if they have the Yew active, will want to keep you down.
Psychiatrist, psychologists, therapists, counselors, gurus, 98% of them are in that business for this very reason: they deal with miserable people, and the other’s misery makes them feel better about themselves, at least some of the time. At least it justifies their lives… which is, for the most part, is a complete waste because there is no growth, no expanding there…
Why? Because being and Expanding Human Being needs you to play with a full deck, accept and cherish every part of the journey, success, failure, it is all in a day’s work.
It needs you to be busy with your growth instead of keeping your eyes on others… and do nothing, or compete… both are very toxic.
Don’t get help from someone who themselves are not in the game of growth… and not through exploiting you better, but through taking risks, risking failing.
The goal is to live an Interesting Life… the straight and narrow of using you isn’t interesting… it’s boring.
As a teacher, practitioner, I want you to get to a place where you don’t need my help. I want you to learn enough to help yourself. I want you to fly out of the nest.
PS: if you are one of these people with the evil eye, you probably won’t recognize yourself, but will know a lot of others… it is hard to see your own hidden agendas.