Compassion… why a coach needs to have it or else…

learn from this pupI cry a lot. Most of the time not about myself. I cry with people.

When I pull an anchor, decades of misery and sadness spill out. And I feel it. I feel your sadness. I feel your longing to belong, to be appreciated. And I feel that you feel that you have been mistreated. And now that we have uncorked it… you can grieve.

I recommend that you do. Grieve.

Just like when someone dies, grieving is a healing process. Crying all the tears that are there, instead of suppressing the pain until you have no lips…

One of the things on my Incomplete Cycles list is something I revisit monthly: it says: cry some. I have been doing that for years… and the ‘well’ has not dried out yet.

I don’t always find something to cry about, and then occasionally I have a lot to cry.

One recent ‘reason’ to cry was about being excluded.

I am alone collageRemember my collage about the black bear on the top of the tall tree?

What Landmark (where I did that collage) doesn’t tell you, maybe because they don’t know, is this: every SEEMING has a real life, reality root.

Two of my collages from that course said: ‘I am excluded, I am on my own.

The big insight I had at the time was that it was my doing: that I myself was distancing myself from others. I was the black bear who climbed the tallest tree. I was the one who put up the bars between me and others having a party.

What I didn’t see then is that being alone is also protection. Isolation is creating a silence where people don’t call you names.

Like a bubble where you are free to be.

I was born to two Holocaust survivors. Not the healthiest environment. And my mother didn’t want more children, didn’t want children at all. She wanted to study… or whatever she wanted. So I wasn’t welcome, I was a bother, and to boot I was sickly, and I was different.

I am still sickly, and I am still different.

Many children are different and a bother.

So I am not alone. And living with the memory of not being part of the family, even if you have a seat around the dining table, even if you are told to do the dishes, even if you get gifts for your birthday or for Christmas. You feel that you are not part of…

And that is the source of much pain…

…because for a child, and maybe for an adult, family, the safety, the inclusion is like oxygen.

70% of dominant beliefs (anchor to doom) and the entitlement anchor, (I muscletested), come from this sense of not being included, and the pain.  And the random and radical decisions the child make from that.

I am going to go back to some clients whom I could not help enough, could not set free and see what I’ve missed.

One of the hindrances of being a pioneer is that you’ll have a lot of hindsight.

The depths of invisible dynamics of the human condition don’t reveal themselves readily.

If and when I look at the way people are, I can see that there is nothing wrong… no matter what YOU think or no matter what I thought before.

People, parents, peers, other adults treat children the way they do. They are completely unaware and unbothered by what the child ends up feeling as a result.

This is the order of life, for homo sapiens: being an object living in a world of objects.

Never really considering the other or even themselves a person. No respect… Respect simply means: stop and look again… see a person, see the consequences of your behavior, and correct it if you can.

I have clients who, as a child, were afraid and were dismissed… Their experience of their word not being heard is one of the shared experiences.

I did the ‘energetic surgery’ of pulling the anchors from a woman this morning. Her anchor to doom was sitting on her Broca area, the area that deals with speaking. (Wernicke is what would integrate language into the whole brain through comprehension)

She, as a child, had nightmares. And when she was too afraid to stay in her bed, she went to her parents’ bedroom and climbed into their bed.

Whether it’s right or it’s wrong, that is what she did.

Her parents didn’t like it… and her word had no power, no weight.

And she has been living her life with ‘my word has no power’

And boy, she tries… but that dominant belief and the anchor… And it’s irritating… but it won’t stop unless she stops giving a f.uck and takes steps that have nothing to do with her voice and their power.

Unless she swims away from the doom, and stops circling the drain.

Most every client I have ever had, their issue, their blockage, their stuckedness can be taken back to an incident when their word had no power.

I actually can’t recall anyone where that wasn’t the issue.

Where they were treated like a thing. And what a thing wants doesn’t matter. Only that they do what you want them to do, or stop doing what you don’t want them to do, right?

It’s not that your parents were bad people… It is that they didn’t consider themselves people, and didn’t consider YOU people.

The nature of homo sapiens is that they cannot see person, personness… and therefore they cannot behave accordingly.

You cannot change that. It is an evolutionary process that will either happen or it won’t. Most likely the latter.

On the current level of evolution the activity of a human is to unwittingly cut the branch of the tree they sit on.

It is clearly seen when I pull the anchors… the decision from a traumatic incident is harmful for the person. And unless the anchor is pulled, and unless the person starts taking actions inconsistent with the anchor, each person is stuck in an unwholesome cycle of behavior that prevents him from becoming all he/she can become.

Today in my laboratory…

…we’ll do two things that can make further difference in a human’s life.

  • We’ll do a process that I designed to invigorate and stimulate the spirit within. I’ll report to let you know how it went.
  • And the second is we’ll look how to establish and strengthen a we-type of worldview, so you can start growing and leave stinginess behind.

If you recognize yourself in me, or in any of my clients…

…and you are having difficulty doing what would make you truly happy, fulfilled, because obviously something is blocking you… the likelihood is      almost 100% that it’s an anchor, either the anchor to your doom, or the anchor to entitlement, or both.

But beware: unless you are willing to do, willing to take steps that are inconsistent with the anchors… to the doom, the dominant belief, or the core of your entitlement, this won’t have a chance to make the difference it can.

And, admittedly,

knowing what action to take is currently outside of what even makes sense to you…

…Because you’ve been trying to get what you want by fighting the dominant belief, or becoming a doormat to it.

The actions you need to take are outside of that tight circle… Mostly actions that would come from Life… Self-ish actions. Actions that you feel good about, for no reason.

I am thinking to throw in a few webinars where I can advise you your actions… if and only if you have your anchors pulled. Not for lookie loos.

Get your anchor(s) pulled

PS: One more example…

…to illustrate the connection between the soul correction and the anchors.

This next person is born a sandwich. Older sister, younger sister.

He didn’t feel he mattered. He didn’t get any or enough attention. They, the adults brushed his fears aside as invalid or exaggerated.

His soul correction is Removing Hatred.

So what would make you hate? If you do everything in your power to give till your nose bleeds and others still don’t respect you, then you will hate them, hate everyone.

Now, what do you have if all you invest in is gaining other people’s respect or gratitude, or whatever you hope to get. Inclusion? Nah… Respect. Admiration. It should be your due, right?

So when you do that, maybe even sacrificing your own self-interest, never really take care of your needs, you are now building a solid ground to hate everyone.

What holds it together as a tight knot-like structure is the sense that you are entitled to respect, admiration, and that it’s your due.

Maybe… in a perfect world. But not in the world of homo sapiens… who consider everyone, including themselves, only a thing, an object…

Only someone who considers themselves a person can consider another a person.
Only someone who is a person for themselves can become part of a we.

Now that I have clarified the issue, now that I have pulled the anchor to that unreasonable entitlement, only now that this person can become all he can become, and do for himself.

Ultimately that is what will put him in vibrational harmony with Life. This is what is going to allow him to become a person for himself.

PPS: It is Tuesday…

…and I promised to give you the second leg of the challenge that has the potential to turn you into a producer who can have a life they love…

I’ll do it in another article… or email… haven’t decided yet. Hold tight, it’s coming.

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Author: Sophie Benshitta Maven

True empath, award winning architect, magazine publisher, transformational and spiritual coach and teacher, self declared Avatar

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