Cone Of Vision, Attitude, Responsibility, Nature, Nurture And Choice

shedding a layer of stuckednessWhat is transformation? There are many ways to say what it is, for the purposes of this article we’ll say: transformation is catching YOURSELF stuck in a state that is unproductive and self-righteous.

For a transformational teacher every moment looks like an opportunity to cause your transformation: you are always in layers upon layers of stuck states, even when you feel successful, and especially when you feel comfortable.

So, what gives a stuck state away as a stuck state? Stuck state, instead of wrong, right, etc…


  1. One of the clues is that you are talking about another, teaching another, creating smoke screen, hiding your own stuck states in the fog created by how smart you are… how well you know these things.

    Or you pontificate: we blah blah blah… instead of saying “I am full of blah blah blah”

    The maneuver is called a strategy to avoid your own transformation. Most coaches or “volunteers” live permanently in that state, covering up with the strategy that they are deadly afraid to shed the layers upon layers of stuckedness.

    I have compassion for you, it is scary. But not near as scary as you staying in that stuck state and never becoming an expanding human being.

    Snakes know it best: in order to grow, they need to shed their skin they outgrew, and be vulnerable for a few days, maybe week, while the new skin will protect them. Scary.

    Snakes are more committed to life than you are. Snakes do stand around giving advice to all the other snakes to shed their skins… no, a snake shuts up and does the shedding… scary or not.

  2. Another clue, I find, is judgment.

    judging anotherWhen you judge, you always look through a narrow cone of vision. The name of the frame is always: I am better than that.

    You are unable or unwilling to look at the whole picture, you are stuck on a detail, a particular point of view, and you don’t know it.

    In this case what causes transformation is to start, gently, expanding the picture, to include facts that you are so conveniently ignore…

    You don’t know how? Yeah, everything is hard the first time…

    For me, the first experience I had with this method was 27 years ago. Until that point the limited perspective I lived with was that my mother didn’t love me. I had bushelful of proof, scars, etc. to prove it.

    One time, retelling one of the stories, a transformational teacher called me on my limited view, my narrow cone of vision. He polled the class if the MEANING I gave to my mother’s actions was the only MEANING anyone could… Really, if what my mother said really meant that she didn’t love me.

    It was the most transformational event in my life, because I learned that I relate to everything the same way: with prejudice.

    Prejudice is another name for the “frame”. Your prejudice gives you a particular world inside which things make sense, and you are seriously limited.

    We all have prejudices that we are unconscious about: your prejudice to you looks like the truth.

    But it’s an anchor to misery, to smallness, to low vibration.

    It can be cultural, in can be inherited… doesn’t matter. You need to make your prejudice visible as a prejudice: you’ll probably never quite get rid of it, so you can use awareness to beat it.

    I have a prejudice that people take things from me. Every time I misplace something, the first thought that pops into my mind “Somebody took it…”

    I have managed to tame it. Why tame it? Because unless you tame it, it gives you a life of a victim… and in addition to that: it is hard to find something that someone stole, wouldn’t you think? lol.

  3. md-emperor

  4. Every time you express displeasure, you are stuck.

    You love your days off… hate to go back to work…
    You love everyone, except when they call you on your crap
    You are ok, as long as everyone says yes to you

    These are just a few indications of an ATTITUDE that you are not willing to OWN.

    You behave as if the world were such, or bad, or wrong, and you were innocent.

    You are a victim of the world, blah blah blah… instead of looking at the only relevant question when you are miserable: what I my stuck attitude?

    Attitude is always stuck… even when you have the attitude of “expecting the best of another”.

    Life thrives in change, not in a fixed attitude environment.

    Things are the way they are, and your job is to make the best of it, by putting your attention on what you can work with.

    Some saint… St John, wrote love poems in solitary confinement. Nelson Mandela chose to pay attention to his guards and the beautiful in humanity. I choose to put my attention on MY transformation, instead of worrying about you doing what you “should” do… which would make me utterly despondent… lol.

I had a conversation with a photographer yesterday. She was stuck in many attitudes, one of them worth mentioning here: waiting for the world to tell her that she is talented.

I used to live there, alongside with 94 of my 95 classmates. When I talk to them, 43 years after getting our architect diploma, they are still asking the same question: am I talented, is he talented… blah blah blah.

It is a question that keeps you stuck. Instead put your attention to a question that YOU can answer: “What am I willing to declare and then deliver on?”

I declare that

  1. I don’t say anything as truth unless it’s my personal experience
  2. I look at myself and cause transformation in myself first
  3. I listen to you NOT through my mind, not through tree of knowledge, but while open and connected to All-of-it.
  4. I spend my whole life developing and testing methodologies that look promising in taking you to become an Expanding Human Being.
  5. I ignore or remove all people and conversations that distract from my commitments… be it money, friends, love, or anything.
  6. I am more interested in delivering on my promise than taking care of you… if you need caretaking, I’ll ask you to see a qualified professional: I am not a caretaker, not a helper, so don’t expect that from me.

Following the example, our photographer could declare:

  1. My purpose is to freeze the moment of love, hope, innocence and beauty so you can always go back to it and gain nourishment from it, for decades to come
  2. I don’t sell pictures, I don’t sell my time, I sell the experience, and the frozen moments. Take it or leave it. If you just want someone to take pictures, we are not a good match.
  3. If you have preconceived ideas of what I should do, and what moments I should take pictures of, thousands of photographers are available for that. I will follow my own inner calling… and I guarantee that you will be happy.
  4. Saying no is the way I get to the clients I really want to work with… So my life is a true expression of who I am.

declaration of selfYou see that living by those declaration will take something of you… this is not about my declarations, or the photographer’s declarations… it is about your life…

If you don’t see yourself in the above examples, you may be at the wrong site… and then please leave… I have nothing to offer you here.

Now, how do you get to the level where you have the courage and integrity to declare stuff like that? Declarations like that vibrate above the 300 vibration level.

You can allow the declarations to guide you: you can “use them” to guide you to where you need to be for those to be facts, not declarations.

When you declare, you don’t simply describe yourself or what you do. No, declaration is an act of creation: you say something and add a huge commitment to deliver.

Affirmations are not declaration unless they come with the commitment to make them true.

declaration168 of the 168 energetic elements of the Effortless Abundance Activator are declarations… they don’t work unless you can commit to them. People that get the most results are able and willing to commit to some of them: and even though I don’t actually spell out what the commitments are, you know, because they are even culturally desirable: integrity, commitment, kindness, courage, impervious, astute, intelligent, etc.

I am going to make a list of all those elements, when I have a free moment… Without the energies I find those “values” hard to follow… and my stuck states interfere.

The synergistic blasting power of the 168 energies of the Effortless Abundance Activator, together, can start moving you out of your stuck states, so you can start “ascending.”

But remember, your commitment and courage are mandatory for that to happen.

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Author: Sophie Benshitta Maven

True empath, award winning architect, magazine publisher, transformational and spiritual coach and teacher, self declared Avatar

6 thoughts on “Cone Of Vision, Attitude, Responsibility, Nature, Nurture And Choice”

  1. Thank you. I am treasuring this insight. And I am coming to understand what I have to do to really live this way, even with my tendency to be delusional…

  2. I am not doing everything I can to get myself unstuck and begin expanding. My integrity is out and I am not sure how. No one has been able to help me, perhaps I have to help myself. I am grateful for your teachings and am not asking for you to do for me what I am unwilling to do for myself. I bless all of the people who are committed enough to take action and move forward. I cannot continue as I have been living, but have no commitment to change. I will continue working on my own, with these tools, slowly, hopefully going deep enough to make a difference. Thank you for everything. One day I hope to repay you with evidence of my growth.

  3. Hello Sophie

    I have an upsight today, before I did not get why we need to be awaken and be aware but now I am getting it why it is very important because when you are sleeping then the machine (mind) is in charge of you and the machine does not want you to be awaken so you cannot catch or see what is going on, so you can stay the same. Thank you. xo

  4. John, every speaking is committing, and in every comment you commit to not knowing, I can’t, etc. instead of whining, why don’t you just start doing some actions from the integrity checklist. It doesn’t matter what you work on, as long as you do.

  5. Okay, Sophie. I will. This is usually where I stop, when it all becomes challenging and seems like an undistinguished morass. I usually says it’s impossible and give up and crawl away. I will take action, I will fight, I will grow.

    I think one integrity issue is not showing up for the coaching calls. Avoiding the domination of being accountable by hiding out instead.

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