I experiment with some myself… so in addition to observing others, I also get additional data. Like how Life responds to the different ways.
I have recently had a breakthrough. A breakthrough I have intended for about 30 years.
Landmark Education and its graduates are famous for their big words. BOLD. AUDACIOUS this and that. Blazing a path, blah blah blah.
Nothing a mere mortal can put in action consistently… Or even once.
This is why most Landmark graduates’ vibration drops: they now have to pretend more than before. Now they have to do more courses and more courses… Ugh.
So for years I experimented with bold and audacious… to no avail.
My base nature, I think, is fearful, and maybe even cowardly. So bold and audacious was about as far for me as climbing the Kilimanjaro barefoot.
But I kept at it, and kept at it. Hey, nothing ventured, nothing gained.
So I succeeded, after 30 years…
Now, truth be told, I only have it working in one, maybe two area of my life… but if I have time, if I live long enough, I promise I’ll bring it to all of my life.
Bold and audacious is just one way to play the game.
So, before I brag more, lol, let’s look at some of the ways I see one can live life.
- The fearful and maybe even cowardly way’s hallmark is the narrow cone of vision. Afraid of making mistakes, because they mean something. Like death? Like you are as good as dead if you don’t succeed?
- The tentative way: every step of the way the ‘actor’ has to ask someone if that is OK?
- I am waiting to get excited! way: When the excitement comes there is feverish activity, and then when the work really begins, whatever the work is, the excitement fizzles out.
- The floppy and uncertain way… Seemingly drag their asses… because they are uncertain that it is worth doing what they are doing.
- Then defiant: I’ll do it goddamit! way: no joy, no joy, no joy. Joyless servitude.
- The ‘I know better‘ way: bringing creativity to brushing your teeth way, not where it would be useful.
- If nobody sees me, if it doesn’t buy me instant celebrity status, I am not going to do it
- I hope they notice how good a guy I am. No? Baaah! I’ll cry
If you look and can see, you’ll see that the organizing principles are: narrow cone of vision, fixation inside that narrow cone, and all action is on the outside… there is no Self… or if there is: it is not participating in the game, doesn’t inform the ‘actor’.
The above examples are from my students.
Now, another aspect, the results, are that no growth, no challenge, no spiritual growth, personal growth, not even growing what you are working on is possible playing the game with those ways, those attitudes.
My breakthrough, 30 years in the making, wasn’t forthcoming.
So a few days ago Source was blocking everything I was doing… it was visceral and not very pleasant. Felt like a cow being driven by cowboys, out West.
So I asked Source: ‘you are not happy with me, right?’ And the answer was clear: ‘I am not.‘ Haha. The haha was mine… lol.
Yeah. It was a self-conscious haha… But I had no idea what I was doing wrong. After all I was doing exactly what I had been doing for 30 years!
‘You are not happy with what I am doing?‘
‘I should be doing something different?‘
Now, the crucial place where you can see people’s attitude when they consider doing something that does not align with
- their current way of living life.
- Or their self-image.
- Or the way they want to be seen.
I didn’t know I was also in the pretense business, but I found that what Source wanted me to do felt 1. dangerous 2. somewhat demeaning… i.e. it lowers my status. My precious ‘I’.
I have learned recently that looking good is called ‘status’ in marketing language. That people buy or not buy depending on what they think if buying will likely increase their status or lowers it.
And I found that loosely matching my behavior. Ugh. I had thought I was beyond that.
So here is the story: I am sitting on about 100K worth of stuff I don’t have time to use, or don’t want to use. Books, courses, machinery, etc.
Any normal person would have already sold most of them. But what will people think about me? Wow… I didn’t consciously have that thought, but I’ve consistently refused to sell any of it. Most of that stuff has lost its value completely.
And Source wasn’t happy with me.
So I started to sell one item each weekday on Ebay… the first two items sold within an hour… Now I wonder if I can sell all my stuff…
So far so good, nothing bold and audacious, right? Millions of people sell stuff… nothing bold and audacious about that.
But I suddenly noticed that breaking that taboo changed how I was behaving in other areas of life.
How I do things… Wider cone of vision, fuller alertness… like a ninja.
My favorite books to read are about men who will fight and win against 3-4-5 opponents at the same time. They need to be aware nearly 360 degrees… And that, in my world, is what is needed to be bold and audacious. You somehow disappear. Thinking disappears. Self-concern disappears when you are aware 360 degrees.
Thinking is too slow: it’ll get you killed.
It is not the time to be afraid, or cowardly, tentativeness will kill you.
There, a mistake is to be corrected instantly. Thinking is postponed. The Self is there, but it is not puny… like the self. Note the capital S, and the lower case s.
In Saturday’s Self class we’ll attempt to bring forward this Self… Your Self is most likely around one of the divine ‘transcendentals’, Beauty, Truth, or Goodness and Power. Power over yourself.
We’ll look how to identify which is your quadrant, and how you may encourage yourself to be true to that Self.
Without integrity nothing works. And without being true to your Self you cannot have integrity.
Every concern you have pulls you out of your Self… and renders you out of integrity. And because without integrity nothing works, your life doesn’t seem to be working well. And in addition to that: you hate yourself. The two selves, the Self and the self hate each other. So self-love is impossible.
But I can only promise you the insight. Because the actions are yours to take.
Let’s identify your Self