How the ‘fake it till you make it’ really works

It was June. I didn’t have a car… so I asked a colleague of mine to take the Forum with me. She wasn’t into it, but I didn’t have a car and I needed her, so she did it.

The Forum was a two weekend course. It started early in the morning, so I spent the night sleeping on the floor in her bedroom.

That first Saturday, around 4 pm the Leader… He said his name was Roger, screamed at a dude who was sitting next to me. ‘You are dead! You are dead inside!

I was confused. I was petrified. He looked alive to me… he was blinking…

Inside! He roared. And you have been dead for a long time!

Inside? What’s inside? Am I dead inside too?

This was 35 years ago. In 1987. Many of you haven’t even been born. Or were toddlers, just inventing the reason you would be dead… inside.

Before that day I didn’t see that people were dead or alive inside… I’d never thought there was such a thing… But once you see it you can’t unsee it.

35 years is a long time, and I have seen more people dead inside than I would care. Many signed up to courses because being dead is no fun… I have experienced brief periods of that deadness myself.

In a Dr. Rob Gilbert interview the other day I heard something you dead-inside people want to hear: You can fake being alive, vibrant, interested, excited… you can fake it till you make it.

The fake it till you make it is for internal states… beingness…

The place where you are dead needs to be waken up and taught new tricks… Like the trick of being alive…

  • Instead of waiting for something exciting to happen to make you excited, you bring excited to everything.
  • Instead of waiting for something to make you happy, someone to make you happy… you bring happy to the party. And loving… instead of waiting the other to be lovable… Or interested, instead of waiting the other to be interesting.

I bring the divine to everything. I don’t expect the divine to be IN THINGS… So I bring it everywhere I go, everything I make… because it is MY JOB.

Same with being a winner. I don’t wait for winning something to declare myself a winner… I bring ‘winner’ to everything, and so I am.

It is killing me when some students try on bringing ‘interested’ and life starts to work for a few days, a week… and then drop it…

Oh, it is so much better to be bored to the bone, dragging your ass from one client to the next. Right? Ugh…

You seem to have one commitment: to be dead inside.

It sure gets you off the hook… Who would expect you to be responsible for your lack of success, your lack of everything. After all you are dead…

I hear in my ear Roger shouting: ‘You wake up in the morning because you didn’t die the night before!

Yeah, you are playing dead… and guess what: it is showing!

You don’t have a future, not a future, not even as far as tomorrow! You have vague longings, but no plan for a future. You hope it will happen for you without you planning for it, without you doing for it.

Life is for the brave. Life is for the adventurous. And Life is denied to the dead…

Unless you are expanding, yourself, not your girth!, you are dying… And when you are dying, you are dead inside.

When I was in a 6-month long intense training program to lead the Introduction to the Forum, we were asked to practice in front of the mirror… We were asked to practice to be ten times more excited.

For most people 10 times more excited would bring them up to the level of someone not dead…

Practice is not as what you normally do: do it once or do it for a week. Only regular and extended practice will do anything.

The 10 times more excited exercise

You jump up and down, you make your blood boil, you make faces, you tap your chest and your arm, while you are jumping… until you are ten times more excited. Every day, twice a day if you need to.

This is the move of ‘fake it till you make it’.

It gets you out of your head, it sends a message to the spirit that you are coming out of your dead state…

There were hundreds of people in my program.

I muscletested how many people actually did that exercise you were asked to do daily for months. I got the number: One. That must have been me.

Some people, teachers mostly, are naturally outgoing… but I am an introvert. So those few eachers, 2-3 out of every hundred, succeeded in the program. The rest… no. No success, no aliveness. Nothing given, nothing gained.

I did… Even though my brain damage prevented me from being able to recite the ‘text’ of the introduction verbatim. But people connect not to the words: they connect to your inner state and want that… So my results were due to my practice getting 10 times more excited every day. That practice lead to just being alive in front of the group I was talking to.

Because I practiced and practiced and practiced, since then I have been able to be excited, turned on, and alive inside all the time…

If you do it once, twice, 30 times… it’s not enough. I did it for more than a year. Every day, including Saturdays and Sundays. Whether I had someone to talk to that day or not.

So the spirit inside learned the lesson: that is who I am. Alive. Excited. Interested. Expanding. Always.

I have a student who has the ability to be excited… She generates it, I can tell. Her integrity, her vibration, her DNA capacities are growing… Because of that.

She has no reason to get excited, by the way. Life, for most of us, especially in the Pandemic, hasn’t been exciting. But she brings her excitement, at least some of the time, to the job she is asked to perform…

Oh, and just so you know, she used to be one of those ‘dead inside’ people…

If you have been waiting for life to give you what you want, waiting for people to give you what you want, waiting for courses to give you what you want… this is what is you need to master, so you can bring your aliveness, your eagerness, your willingness to life, to people, to courses… or I guarantee you’ll spend the rest of your life WAITING. And be dead inside.

Whatever your linchpin, especially if it is ‘I don’t have enough to give’, or ‘I know everything, and I am always right’, or ‘I want THEM to give me what I want’, ‘I am better than them’

This exercise will gently, slowly, and effectively turn you around, so you can live life from power and NOT from your linchpin… So you can finally grow. And stop being miserable.

Is knowing what is your linchpin important? I think so.

If you’d like to come to a class where we look at what might be your linchpin, you need to be in my ‘communication group’. Membership has its privileges.


Join the communication group
PS: The only thing that makes it worth for me to still teaching is that I bring to teaching my excitement to teach and discover … I am the source of my excitement, not some hoped-for result that either comes or doesn’t come. If I were outcome dependent, I would have stopped teaching long time ago…

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Author: Sophie Benshitta Maven

True empath, award winning architect, magazine publisher, transformational and spiritual coach and teacher, self declared Avatar

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