None of us is an island, and in our quest to carve out a meaningful life, we encounter resistance. Often a lot, even more often, from people who “should” be on our side. Sometimes that person disagreeing with you is is me… if you are one of my students.
The question is: how are you going to be? Who are you going to be? Are there any tricks that make it easier than it is to live life in a sea of disagreements?
I had an experience of discord this morning, an argument 1.
I have to lead with an admission: I don’t like resistance. I am just like you in that… I don’t know anyone who actually likes it. Even the argumentative types know that it takes a lot out of them to argue, to carry on… and while you argue, you are not attending to your life: you are attending to them.
Everybody spends a bulk of their life trying to look good, be right, make others wrong, not just you.
The “habit” is involuntary: it comes with your social conditioning, and there is not much you can do about it before it kicks in and tries to take over your life.
So, what is there to do?
First off, I think, you need to sit down and decide what you want to use your life for. If you want to use your life to be right… you can leave now, this article is not for you. Why? Because I am going to suggest that you don’t care about being right…
Being right is a power play and it is best to leave it to politicians: they care about that… Climbing over other people, making others be less so you look better, bigger belongs to the arena of politicians and people that behave like politicians: you’ll recognize colleagues you work with here, I am sure.
People who work, people who grow don’t spend time with politics, and if you are one of my students, you should not either: you can’t do both: you’ll either be right or you’ll raise your vibration.
I don’t suggest that you allow yourself to be left wrong either: Just say “F… it, who cares?!” and let go. Pulling out of the game or right/wrong is actually smart.
Every argument takes your power to get things done away. Your power to live a great life. To make money. To love… whatever is important to you. And every argument also lowers your vibration.
Why? Because when you are arguing (even if you do it in your head!), you stop the flow, you stop life, it is all about you… you are KILLING life.
If whatever you say is something that most people will agree with, you are so on the wrong side of knowledge, that you should not be on this site! Seriously!
If you are just repeating the party line, what you heard, what you read, what anyone could repeat, then you are totally and wholly lost to real knowledge, and I don’t intend to talk to you, no offense, but please get out of here!
But if you have real capacity to think, to notice, to create, please find people that can, at least, hear what you have to say, without distortion. You can’t find any? It won’t be easy. And it isn’t easy to live without echo, without a witness.
But to share yourself with someone who cannot hear you will discourage you, and you will return to the fold of the followers, the non-thinkers… so it’s better to be alone.
When you notice the distorted “echo” just shut up… stop speaking, and pretend that nothing happened.
They live in a world of their own design, and in that design, in that world, there is no room for your brilliance, for your thoughts, for your value. Let go. Let them live in the world of their own design. You don’t have to change them, you don’t have to judge them, you have to pull back your attention to what you want to accomplish and do that.
Be the best you can be. Grow. Let other people do what they do… however wrong, stupid, unfair it may be. You either live YOUR life or you live their life:
- ar·gue verb
gerund or present participle: arguing
1. give reasons or cite evidence in support of an idea, action, or theory, typically with the aim of persuading others to share one’s view.
“defense attorneys argue that the police lacked “probable cause” to arrest the driver”
synonyms: contend, assert, maintain, insist, hold, claim, reason, allege;
“they argued that the government was to blame”
persuade someone to do or not to do (something) by giving reasons.
“I tried to argue him out of it”
2. exchange or express diverging or opposite views, typically in a heated or angry way.
“don’t argue with me”
synonyms: quarrel, disagree, squabble, bicker, fight, wrangle, dispute, feud, have words, cross swords, lock horns, be at each other’s throats;