There is nothing more significant in destroying your self-image than starting something, with all the hopes and aspirations it takes to start something and abandoning in before it is finished.
Even if you knew yourself as a great person deserving of the dream you set out to accomplish with the project, by abandoning it, by leaving it in the middle, you declare yourself as undeserving, someone less than a match to your dreams.
When you don’t finish a project, you set yourself up for more of the same, it is a self-strengthening cycle.
It’s all downhill from there. You continue life with a lot of your life force lost to that incident. Now you know yourself as someone who can’t be counted on. Your experience of yourself is that you are a failure, a wannabe, and you hate yourself.
What if you you have a project not worth doing?
Is it necessary to finish every project? Not really. But how do you not carry the burden of unfinished projects into your future?
The distinction that handles that is called “completion” or “completing”.
Completion means that something is complete, no parts missing, no energy on it, not carried into the future. Completion is a conversation that you have with yourself, you and you, talking, until all the tension, all the in-completeness is done.
The most important element, without this there is no chance of completing anything, is to take responsibility.
Responsibility: the key difference between success and failure
Responsibility is a capacity that even if you have, you probably have never practiced.
People who don’t complete things are short on this capacity.
Responsibility is a declaration. You are always responsible for things that belong to you, and you are never responsible for things that don’t belong to you.
Things like what you say, what you do, and your attitude are yours, and therefore you can be responsible for. Things that happen, what other people do, the weather, etc. they don’t belong to you and you cannot be responsible for.
What belongs to you?
Almost everything has at least one aspect that belongs to you. If nothing else, how you perceive it. The filter through which you perceive things belongs to you and you can be responsible for.
If your filter is “oh no, this is wrong” then you want to take responsibility that that is the filter you view the world through, not that it’s the truth.
If your filter is “I should be perfect” then obviously you want to take responsibility for that, and the misery that goes with it.
Seeing your filter, hearing what you say, your attitude are not easy for you to see. Others and their feedback can come really handy. In the five questions exercise the main purpose is to get information that you, yourself, (being in the middle of it, having no active witness, being the driftwood that you are) cannot see clearly, or don’t want to take responsibility for.
Responsibility is your access to your personal power
Responsibility is your access to your personal power, your ability to make things happen. Why? Because taking responsibility removes you from the backseat of your life and places you into the driver’s seat with all the pedals and switches and the steering wheel at your disposal.
Can you change if you are, let’s say, around 60 and been this way all your life?
Yes. You won’t be able to take responsibility for all the ways you be, for all your filters and all your attitudes all at once, but you can start. With each act of responsibility you get stronger, and your self-image will get better. You will become someone who can.
I remember myself going through this, with my eyes open, being stunned at the ease of this gradual emerging as someone who can.
How do you “complete” without finishing?
Returning to completion: when you can take responsibility for your filters, attitudes, and actions with regards to the project you intend to abandon, full responsibility, then, whether the project is finished or not, you can move on without dragging the unfinished project and the connotations, the meaning, the burden, into your future.
Some projects are not worth completing: the win from them is way less than the effort it takes. Some projects were a mistake, and the faster you admit that the better you are off. Some projects were never meant to be completed: as soon as you mine the learning from them, you can declare it complete. I have tons of projects like this.
And what if you finish but you are not happy with the results?
Bob the Butler is masterful at completion. He evidently doesn’t drag his failures into his next experiment. He is always Bob that can… and he does. As it turns out, all of his previous attempts at different professions were useful learning experiments for his final project.
I have found that the Effortless Abundance Remedy gently moves you past your typical stopping point and past your typical filters and self-attitudes that normally would stop you from completing anything that is even a little bit difficult.
It does have the activator for Responsibility, Completion, Courage, Astuteness, for example, that come really handy when you want to become someone who can, someone who does, someone who completes what they start.
And it also has all kinds of flower energies to counter and mitigate fear of failure and easy giving up emotions. And also energies to counter the shame and grief associated with your history of not finishing projects. Energies to stop being a butterfly… pretending that you are just looking something better, covering up that you have given up.
Here is for a life of victory. Victory over your past, over your cowardly, weak, victimlike self.