Two rules of engagement and a condition…

two rules of engagementEver since last Saturday I have been observing myself putting myself down, devaluing myself. Telling people I am not such a good coach, etc. etc. etc.

I know what happened. I know exactly.

I watched this guy’s videos, I read his testimonials, I heard his superior facility to guide people and take them where he wanted them to go. I watched his 24/7 tireless enthusiasm to turn marginally interested people into fans. And I compared.

I compared.

You compare, all the time, don’t you? Yourself with others, others with others, others with their previous performance, others with what could be the best, others to what is right, others to what is generous… and so on and so forth.

It sounds innocent, doesn’t it? And yet, it’s toxic. Totally damaging to who you are. You never see anything on its own right: your mind is incapable to see that way: your mind compares. Even our science is that way… and the result: a humanity where only a grand total of 10 people can thing, can be an original thinker where  the whole things is independent of what is… no comparison, not improvement, not the opposite, just is… on its own right.

And it’s totally human to compare and perceive the whole world through that simple action.. It is also totally mind. Let’s see what we can observe about comparing:

When you compare people

  • you are not present. You are in your mind, where You are superior and thus you are allowed to judge: after all you are the judge.
  • they don’t matter. The are just a thing, one side of an equation, non-entity.
  • Someone always comes out at the bottom… and you are killing life
  • You are playing God

Source, on the other hand, doesn’t play god. It has a few moral codes for conduct, rules that you violate when you compare.

  1. Everyone has free will. Things are not forced down on anyone’s throat. Even more significant: without asking no light is given
  2. No thing that belongs to another is taken away and given to another. And that “no thing” includes dignity, honor, respect, attention, etc. One can aks for it and get it, but it’s never taken away from another. Only humans themselves do that in their infinite pride thinking themselves God. Why do humans do it? If you didn’t, then when you encountered someone who is better than you, then suddenly you would have new mountains to climb, new rivers to cross… because you would see that you could get better.

So, where would you start if you want to get rid of this impediment, this misery maker: comparing?

Though ultimately you will be the beneficiary, you can’t start with yourself. If you try, you’ll flip into an even worse pit… out of which it is even harder to get out. Don’t tell me I didn’t warn you!

So, this is what you can do: you bring nothing to the present, then compassion and then validation to the “picture” that you normally would judge.

This is the closest at this point where you will get to seeing things without their reference points, the way the mind does. No meaning. All meaning comes from the past, from what has already been seen, and therefore all meaning makes what you see not stand alone…

In the beginning it is going to be step by step, it will take thinking, it will take generosity… but with practice you may be going to be able to live that way, it is like changing how you breathe… not a big process, but you still need to be mindful, be present, pay attention… can you see that??

The question that may come up: do you have the capacity or do you need an activator? What capacities will you need?

  1. The capacity to bring nothing to a picture
  2. The capacity to bring compassion to a picture… compassion a lot like allowing
  3. The capacity to bring validation, acceptance to a picture.

Once you go from “unconscious incompetence” where you probably are now, through conscious incompetence, conscious competence to unconsciously competence, bringing those capacities to looking at other people, you’ll notice that your self-judgment won’t be there. Wow… where did it go, right?

Let’s me distinguish the three capacities so you know you are using them and can do more of it.

  • The capacity to bring nothing to a situation: when you see the situation you have already said something. Already… before you even looked. Judgment. But that is not the end: you can soften your gaze, say: “it ain’t necessarily so” and just hang in there. Allow the fact that what you see means nothing, or at the least not what you automatically judged it as. Create a buffer, a mist, a fog, an uncertainty to the situation.
  • The capacity to bring compassion to a situation: when you can look at something beyond the surface, and can pick out the objective elements (in objective Reality) of it, then you can recognize yourself and things that you have done in the past. You can have empathy for the other person, you can see that they are not stuck there, given that you have been there and have gone beyond (if you have…)
  • The capacity to bring validation to a situation: when you look at something someone did, you judge from the outside. With this capacity you go inside and think: If I were the same age, the same gender, the same sexual preference as this person, and if I had had the same upbringing, had heard the same horrible things people thrown at them, I would probably be in the same situation, know what they know, think what they think, feel what they feel. If all “accidentals” like the date of birth, the religion, the tragedies that have befallen this person, the friends’ influence, the music they listen to, the videos they watch, etc. were the same, you can see that you would do the same “horrible thing” what they have done.

You can see that after exercising these three capacities, you won’t really be judgmental of the other person, you can’t, or not really.

Now, let’s turn it around: If the person you are judging is you, the process is the same, and the result is the same. You really can’t judge yourself: your actions are going to be consistent with all those “accidentals.”

The real question, in the quietness that suddenly enters your judgmental mind is: what can I do to change the accidentals?

What can you do to change the accidentals?

  • You can’t change what has happened, but you can change what you say about it.
  • You can’t change what people have taught you in life that rendered you less than who you would like to be, but you can change your mind about it and start adding knowledge and speaking NOT affirmations!!! neither positive thinking!. Instead declarations, where you say what you say and then get to work to make it true, declarations that alter you on all levels of consciousness through seeing.

If you immerse yourself in a new culture that does that, please know that as soon as you leave that immersion, the old stuff will be back full tilt boogie.

The only methodology I know that effects you on the subconscious level and therefore causes permanent changes is activation while connected to Source. Update: with Avatar-State activators, because I include the energy of the connection, you don’t need to be connected… But you still need to work on it.

It’s also the most inexpensive, least time-consuming way: after all Source is doing most of the work. UPDATE: half of the work… you still need to do the other half!

I have been playing the Abundance Avatar State Activator in my office/kitchen/living room for years now.

My accomplishments are totally due to that audio. OK, half… because of co-creation.

You can hear the birds chirping in the background on every call I make… quite loud… but very cheerful…

OK, when I originally started to play that audio 24/7, 70-80% of my income came from another business that was incompatible with this one, where I work to raise the truth value of people’s world view and consequently raise their vibration.

In that other business I catered to people’s baser desires, and of course I made a lot more money. Just look what YOU spend your money on…

Once the conflict between the incompatible businesses became intolerable for me… I had to become willing to let go of that income, and put all my eggs in one basket.

It was terrifying. For months I was late with my rent. My account was overdrawn in the bank. I needed the uplifting of the Avatar State Audio.

The avatar state activator’s energy lifted me out of the scarcity thinking (me thinking that it was never going to work) and instead look to see what I needed to do to make it work.

I cut expenses. I created new products. I raised my prices. And managed to return to the income I had before I dropped the income source that was counter to my declared purpose: I work to raise the truth value of people’s world view and consequently raise their vibration.

So the two rules of conduct between the Universe and humanity is are

  1. people have free will… in how they behave… and what they will do… and it is inviolable.
  2.  you don’t have the right to decide to take away from one and give it to the other… even if this is what ‘society’ and governments, no matter which side, have been doing for a long time. It violates a higher rule and renders societies violate even people’s free will…

But that doesn’t men you have to, personally follow suit. You can allow Life conduct ‘business’ by those rules, accept what happens, and make something happen if you so please.

And the condition I mention in the title of this article is gratitude. An act of gratitude where instead of hoarding the credit, you give credit where credit is due… when you quote, when you use something you leaned, heard, so you keep acknowledging the source of what you use.

Why? Because, believe it or not, this lands on the Universe’s lap as a request… and without a request the Universe would violate the first law… the free choice.

Is the what I am saying true? Muscle test says yes…  But it is not magical… or automatic like you hoped it would be.

Ultimately only action creates results… and you have been stingy in that regard. You have been hoping, and wishing, and praying, but without action you don’t really ‘ask’… the real asking is you going halfway ahead…

The body knows… but who listens… right?

Yesterday I had two discover what the body is saying type of webinars… and they are free. You can listen to them: no video… just a blank screen. You need to keep your eyes closed, that is how you can get in touch with what the body is saying.

You can get the recording in my mobile app that now is also working in the browser… i.e. on the desktop.


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Author: Sophie Benshitta Maven

True empath, award winning architect, magazine publisher, transformational and spiritual coach and teacher, self declared Avatar

4 thoughts on “Two rules of engagement and a condition…”

  1. Sophie, pretty amazing stuff. Hard to see how you will improve on this. I practice not judging. It’s hard. Not judging is like not having a story about life…no myth, no religion, no reward system…To attempt brief moments without screens or crutches is frightening, dizzying. I want to cling to you and your approach as a lifeline, but A.) That’s more of the same…better than the usual, but the same mechanism; and B.)You have not set yourself up as a guru with all the answers. So I am trying to experience things for myself. Semi-successful.

  2. Wow, this post is chock full of great distinctions. I got power over several things that are upsetting me right now and I am at peace. Those issues mean nothing.

    Thank you.

  3. Congratulations, Michael. I confess, I have written quite a few things lately with you in mind, with your specific issues, that obviously other share, except you have the capacity to distinguish, so it’s rewarding to write for you…

    Thank you for sharing.

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