The #2 backdrop and its cost on the life. How to selfcorrect

I just finished Steven Konkoly’s six book series on Black Flag.

He, in these books, reveals a conspiracy: REBOOT. A lot like MAGA… not an accident.

It is the plan to rebuild America as an autocracy… not a democracy.

It plans to take away the voice of most… even if it takes killing them.

So the question arises: what is the root level of people who support this REBOOT and MAGA?

After all my ‘claim to fame’ is that I can see the below the visible layers of people, societies, groups, etc.

The number one requirement is overvaluing oneself.

Comparing yourself to who? Comparing yourself to what?

Compare yourself to yourself… your real ability and habit to produce value, to actually enrich yourself.

Or compare yourself to what other people said about you when you were little.

You remember? Not what happened to you that matters. Instead what matters is what you said about it.

Here are two stories. Similar, except for the ultimate outcome… so far

I was two years old, still wearing fabric booties.

My mother and I were about to go somewhere.

We are talking about the late 40’s… no car, no bus, so we walked.

My mother was a very fast walker, so for a while she was dragging me. Then she abruptly stopped, and said: You are too heavy. And with that she marched away.

The other story is Bonnie’s story: her parents and her went to the hospital. Some people came, put her on a stretcher and carted her away to an operating room, held her down and told her to count to ten under the hood of the anesthetics.

We both thought that we were ‘They gave me away‘ or in my case ‘I was thrown away‘.

  • She said: I am too good for my parents. That was her because…
  • I said: I am not good enough to keep. That was MY because

She then proceeded to live out of ‘I am good enough‘, and I proceeded to live out of ‘I am going to get good enough, maybe even better than that

Notice the starting point… same or very similar incident… very different conclusion.

Mind you, I had a ton of heavy duty detractors happen, but what always came out winning is what I said: ‘I am going to get better’

When I look I very rarely see someone like that. Because people who see that they can grow and therefore they must are rare.

When I say ‘they must’… that must comes from the inside. From the spirit. Maybe from the soul? Who knows, and who cares.

When the spirit ‘issued its challenge to me’ back in 1985, I took it on like a personal challenge.

The spirit said (in a poem of all things) The spirit wants only that there be flying. As to who happens to do it, in that he has only a passing interest.

What I heard is that flying the spirit is a challenge, and not many will succeed.

And what I heard is that this is the job for me. If anybody will fly the spirit, please god let it be me.

My life suddenly made sense. I am the one who will do whatever possible to fly the spirit. Why? Because I will.

That is what I mean when I say ‘must‘. I had little say in the matter. Moreover I didn’t know about spirit… I am an atheist. And had no idea what would be required of me. I had no idea if I had what it took. None.

But by god, I will. I will fly the spirit. I said.

Suddenly my original reaction to my mom leaving me in the street had a shape of sorts. I KNEW what I meant when I meant when I am going to become better than better. F… what my mother said!

Defiance.

You know it takes energy invested into something constructive to have a good life.

Defiance is energy.

I could have invested it in getting offended, defending myself from attacks, sulking, plotting revenge. All not constructive methods… and I had my share in them before I committed my life to the spirit.

My automatic is still often offended, sulking and plotting revenge… But those are short-lived… and the commitment to the spirit always wins out.

So 70% of my defiance is used constructively, and 30% is frittered away on being offended.

It is what it is.

Is the spirit flying? Yeah. Could it fly higher? Yeah… Am I going to do something about it? Yes. And then I do. Little by little.

I have found an interesting controversy recently. People who have a reaction similar to Bonnie’s, who considered what happened slighting, taking away what they deserved, what they were entitled to, don’t have that much energy to get better, because in their appearance they already are.

In their appearance, in their pretenses, in their lies…

So they spend most of their defiance energy to defend the appearance, defend the status quo.

In my career as an architect I made two mistakes…

…and both came from wanting to defend the status quo. Instead of growing the path took me down to the ditch…

Both times the healthy and constructive action would have been: OK, I got found out. This is an opportunity to plug the holes, plug the leaks, plug the insufficiency… and bring the pretense and reality closer.

There was a part of architecture that I missed in the third year when I was ill… and I never actually learned the material. And for 20 years after that, much of my energy went into covering that lack up.

I could have spent a portion of that energy to review that class… maybe 50 hours total. But I didn’t.

In the end I left architecture.

I don’t regret it because ultimately it took me to where I can really shine, and yet.

In comparison to where my classmates are, I still feel myself a failure.

If you could see yourself in my story, one way or another… If you could see how you spend your energy to cover up the pretense, the lie, now you know what to do.

Telling the truth to others that you’ve been lying is not enough. It’s too little too late.

Instead go back to the original incident when you decided that you were slighted, and revise your decision. Or if that is not likely, invent a new sentence and start empowering that… Remember the black wolf and the white wolf? Whichever you feed is going to rule your actions.

If you still feed the ‘I am special already. I don’t have to perform to be special!’ then you’ll continue to be an underachiever, a taker, an unhappy wretch.

Because you know inside that you are lying. You know and that is all that matters. It makes you miserable.

It makes you spend your energies to keep up the face… the hoax… but it is not satisfying beyond the glee. Beyond the giggle. Beyond the smirk. I pulled the wool over their eyes… yeah!

Hollow victory.

How do you get out of it?

I got myself the spirit flying assignment. It still took decades to become someone I can love. But every time I did something, a little bit, I had joy. Not glee… joy.

In the Inventing your Self we’ll spend the second session on strategizing what would be a most suitable, most potent ‘assignment’ that can pull you out of the ditch.

If you think this doesn’t apply to you because you are already perfect, the best, better than anybody… think again.

You are conceited… because you compare yourself to other people. Don’t. Compare yourself to what is possible, and wake up… And start living in the gap between who you are bing and who you could become.

I know, it sounds like suicide… and in a way it is… it is slowly killing the fake puffed up self… so it can make room to the real self.

Anyway, you can buy the recordings of the Inventing Yourself workshop. And if you do you’ll see the whole work… digging for the roots. Identifying them for the exact nature of it. And then comes the harder part: owning up to what the roots say, embracing them for the belligerent little kids they seem to be, and when you can get, hopefully to no thing, none of what it says make you feel anything, then create a new self, a new path, a new way of being.

Sounds simple, and in a way it is. But it’s not easy.


Get the recordings of the course
Warning: all the participants in the course have been studying with me for years… So much of it won’t make sense to you instantly. It is not a beginner workshop. If you are a beginner, I don’t recommend that you buy it.

What should you do instead?

Maybe buy the Freedom Course? It is beginner friendly. Or buy the Soaring Method? It is very beginner friendly.

Or if your main concern is money, get the moneyroots workshop… live or the recording. The live is on July 19 at 2 pm my time. If nothing else, you’ll see why the tree that you are doesn’t bear money-fruit…

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Author: Sophie Benshitta Maven

True empath, award winning architect, magazine publisher, transformational and spiritual coach and teacher, self declared Avatar

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