What is frustration? And what does it say?

All emotions speak!

I have, until a few minutes ago, thought that to be frustrated something needs to be block or hinder you in an action…

I am finding out that frustration is actually synonymous with disappointment.

If you have an expectation, and we all do, then the natural emotion that follows it is disappointment, aka frustration.

There is a lot of lip-service encouraging us to have positive expectations… So frustration plagues humanity and given the expectations frustration is totally normal.

Not good, mind you. Feeling frustrated is a disempowering emotion. It says, as all emotions come from some words, this one says: it was supposed to happen. It was supposed to be easy. It was supposed to be automatic. Instant. No big deal. Effortless.

And, of course, it wasn’t supposed to be anything different from what it was.

So frustration, all frustration, is the result of unrealistic expectations, a worldview that considers a should-be reality.

I have on student who, in spite of all proofs to the contrary, is unwilling to change his worldview in which things would happen automatically and fast. Success, results, everything. He got stuck in the worldview of a 3-year old… But not any 3-year old, a 3-year old whose mother does everything for him, a mother who protects him from reality.

He considers buying something, like a program, as the trigger to tell the whatever is replacing the mother now that he wants something.

And that is it.

It sounds ridiculous? Maybe.

But if you consider that a whole 30% of all humans has the same worldview, not it is not ridiculous, it is horrible. For them. Because they cannot get what they want because they never learned that you get everything through work. The work that other people value. Or, of course, another type of work: robbery or theft.

I also have some students who are recovering (I hope) from the same worldview and have started to do some work that can, eventually, get them to happiness and not frustration.

When you have expectations you are vulnerable to suggestions, you are vulnerable to being used and abused, to be robbed blind, to be duped.

Because you have given up your rational thinking, your ability to see reality the way it is, your power, to a mirage.

There is a side-effect of this worldview where things should be easy, instant, and you should always get what you want.

You either don’t do what would actually earn you what you want. Or alternatively you are doing what you are doing but your eyes are not on what you are doing, but somewhere else.

Your eyes are either on the results you want… the results you want instantly, and they are not happening. They are not forthcoming… so you give up in frustration.

Alternatively your eyes can be on the obstacles…

Not real obstacles, mind you. Real obstacles are easy to overcome. You go around them, above them, underneath them, or through them. They are real, and therefore there is a solution.

No, the obstacles you keep your eyes on are not real. They were decided by a 3-year old.

Those obstacles answer a question: what is wrong with you. What is wrong with the world? What is wrong with it?

If you decided at age three that you are nothing, or not much, or not good enough, or maybe even worthless or bad, you are going to have your eyes on that… and not what you are doing.

You’ll even want what you are doing to fix the ‘original wrong’… but, of course, there was never anything wrong with you, with it, with them.

But, I have found, people are unwilling to change their minds about ‘important things like what’s wrong with them.’

So anything they do is happening against the backdrop of them being wrong, and that wrong needs to be fixed.

I don’t know about you, but I have found that when I smoked, I could not smoke and walk at the same time.

Trying to fix the ‘original wrong’ and do what you are doing is more difficult than that. Most people I know cannot do two things at the same time… so much so that whenever I ask them to do something, they hold their breath… They cannot breath and think at the same time.

Do they expect to be productive and find windmills at the same time?

They do.

And, of course, they can’t very well do it.

Yesterday I experienced, as an empath, a student try to change his mind and hold his mind at the same time. Huh?

I often feel that if I learned to hypnotize someone, maybe then I could help them to change their minds. And, of course, I could… but I am not a hypnotist.

And I could recommend that you get yourself a hypnosis session, but the problem is: how do you explain to the hypnotist what you want to achieve?

Most hypnotists share your worldview: results should be instant and effortless. That is why they became hypnotists.

I was lucky some 45 years ago. I stumbled onto someone who was, I think, a largely untrained hypnotist, but who said exactly the words my 3-year old brain needed to hear: that I had everything I needed to do my job. I’d felt that I didn’t.

Someone with a ‘instant and effortless’ delusion may need to hear the words: ‘It takes work and time to get the results I want. And I can do the work and I have the time. It’s OK to do hard work. It actually feels good.

I am spelling this out so if you decide to find a hypnotist, you can tell him or her to implant these words into your brain.

After that hypnosis session 45 years ago I found myself able to do my work, and that issue, about work, has never come up again.

There are some areas of my life where I have never been powerful… and maybe I should have chosen a hypnotic suggestion that would have gotten me unstuck. I haven’t…

One of the main areas of work where hypnosis could be helpful is areas where you confuse wants with needs.

Anything that is not food, shelter, warmth, safety and air is not a need, it is a want.

It is not a need to be important, to be well regarded, to be special, to be right, to be even smart, or to be considered valuable.

Maslow included most wants in his hierarchy of needs pyramid.

But the ‘forever 3-year olds’ consider those wants the most important things in life, and forego even earning a living, building skills, having nurturing relationships in favor of fulfilling those wants…

But those wants keep you on a short leash, they keep you being a puppet on a string.

You can’t do anything fully, even when you want to, because the wanting to fix the original missing, the original unfulfilled ‘need’ is strong and demanding.

  • The little girl who saw what happens to those who are bad… in her case they were beaten… will spend more energy on not looking bad than on what would really bring her results and satisfaction.
  • Another little girl who was walked to a barn and raped will spend their whole life trying to not be pretty, not to stand out, not to be raped… again.
  • The little boy who could not get his father to believe that there was something making noise below his window is now spending all his efforts to be considered relevant…

But if you have that overwhelmingly strong urge to prove that you are not nothing, you are not bad, you are not worthless, then you won’t have much energy or even need to learn things, to get skilled, to have something of value to offer in return of what you want in life.

And when I look, students, readers, or people I know, very few of them, if any, are investing their energies in any activity that would bring them satisfaction and real results.

They can’t… as long as the ‘original wrong’ is still wrong.

And they remain wrong as long as that wrong is the result of a need not a want

When you want something, that word itself expresses that you’ll either get it or not get it. But whether you get it or not, nothing changes. You’ll have it or not have it.

But if you consider it a need, a necessity, then you’ll consider that unless you get it you are nothing. Worthless. Zero.

The magic psychic surgery needs to change that need to a want… An inconsequential want. A ‘so what?’

Allowing important things to be important, and unimportant things to remain unimportant.

I express it in my crude ways: ‘Who gives a flying fig?’ or ‘What does it have to do with the price of tea in China?’

If you think that everything is the same importance, then nothing can be important, and your life will be a cemetery.

Erich Fromm says that unrestricted satisfaction of all desires has lead humanity to become delusional and incapable for reasonable thought. To replace being with having… and to focus on things outside and not inside.

To not see any value… or not be able to tell what is value and why.

To focus on the obstacles to satisfaction, not on the path.

If you look at a picture of the sky… you’ll find the sky itself boring, and you’ll get fascinated or bothered by the clouds.

But the sky is being… constant, ongoing, never changing. While the clouds are entertaining, they also take your attention off your essence: being.

My job as a teacher is to weaken the forces that keep you on the horizontal plane, the Valley of the Shadow of Death.

Where everything threatens you with annihilation… Where you only pay attention to the clouds… and are completely unaware of the sky.

The Vertical Plane, the home of being… is where I aim to take you. It begins at 300 vibration.

Today less than a thousand people even visit, occasionally, the Vertical Plane. Beingness.

The capacity that puts you in charge of where you live, which plane, is the capacity of causing. Causing your actions, causing your attitude, causing your words, causing your beingness. It is coupled with the capacity to choose. Select freely after consideration. No consideration? No choice. No consideration? No causing.

Depending the environment you spend your time, you can be dragged down to the horizontal plane… On Mondays even my best students sound like death re-heated.

The world lives on the horizontal plane.

The world where things can be wrong. Where YOU can be wrong. Where who you are is the clouds… and the sky is disregarded as if it didn’t exist.

When people come back after the weekend or after a holiday, they are all considering themselves the clouds… some version of wrong. A thing. An object in the world of objects.

You have the power to look at the sky and SEE the sky… and have room for the clouds, instead of being fascinated by them.

When you learn to direct your attention, when you learn to consider what you intend to consider yourself, you start raising your vibration.

Of course smart, brilliant, special, pretty are also clouds. Darn, right? lol.

Anyway, the Face the Tiger workshop will close tonight at midnight.

I am sorry if you missed it. The 25% off coupon is still good till midnight. TIGGER2

After midnight, to keep up the birthday offer, I transfer that coupon to the Moneyroots workshop. 25% off… same coupon code.

In the Moneyroots workshops we dig with the participants for the money aspects of the horizontal plane… and we’ll look for strategies to overcome it.

The upcoming live session is the third… I have tentatively scheduled it for Saturday, September 24, 11 am EDT. Calculate three hours for the workshop.

  • Like Paulo who, for the first time in his life, is managing to save some of his money… ‘Thank you! Since the last one (Moneyroots), I have been able to save money! I’m looking forward to the next one.
  • Or Helen who, for the first time in her life fell in love with the idea of working. ‘Dear Sophie,
    Please let me know if there will be another Money Roots Workshop. I am eager to participate.
    There are shifts in how l view work. It’s really interesting. I am looking forward to working.
  • Or Bahar, who, for the first time in her life is not only enjoying working, but is able to keep her wits about her, and get creative. Find the funny. Find a way to overcome the devastating effects of ‘it is too much!’

For most people money is the best playground. It took me a few decades to realize that life and money are very strongly tied, and working on money may be the fastest way to cause someone to clear themselves of the anchors to doom, the anchors to the horizontal plane.


Let’s use money to get you to being
Use the TIGGER2 coupon code for 25% off… until September 4, in celebration of my birthday.

Subscribe to notifications

Let me send you an email every time I publish a new article

view pixel
Please note that I send an email every day. Also: if you don't fill out your name, I'll remove your subscription promptly.
You can unsubscribe any time.

Author: Sophie Benshitta Maven

True empath, award winning architect, magazine publisher, transformational and spiritual coach and teacher, self declared Avatar

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.