The filter of expectation… what should be there but isn’t

Please email me if you find a typo or something unclear. Thank you. Sophie

I woke up unhappy. I woke up from a dream where I was framed and was struggling for my life.

Even though waking up freed me from the struggle, the unhappy state hung out for a few minutes after awakening.

I went to bed last night, and didn’t fall asleep for two and a half hours. I wasn’t unhappy then… Instead I was musing. About worlds. About humanity. And about history and alternate history. I was fascinated and enjoyed it.

I got up and got to my computer. Darn Google is still limping some of the time. Most of the time it is dead… I wonder what is going on there…

Then Reddit.

Going to always gives me food for an article… and so it is this time.

Reddit is organized by topics… I have subscribed to some of them. One of them is Damnthatsinteresting or to make it intelligible Damn! that’s interesting!

Wouldn’t you want to wake up to a thread like that? I do.

This morning’s ‘hit’ post is a real doozy:

What do you see?

Look at this picture. What do you see? A can of coke, diet coke to be exact. So what? I have to read several of the comments, and I still don’t see what is interesting. Until someone says: The can doesn’t have a way to open it. No pull tags.

It is a can’t of Diet coke… lol

So what? you could ask, and probably do. I wish you asked ‘so what?’ more often, by the way. You would be a happier person.

So what? First off, I didn’t see that there was anything to see. I examine the writing on the side, and see nothing to see.

And that is my point. You don’t see what is there because what you see is what you are expecting, unless…

Unless you know that you are expecting it, it should be there, and it isn’t.

Like the dude who wanted to have a drink and got this can’t of Diet coke.

A number of years ago I filled a course by using this phenomenon… that you only see what you expect, or you can only see what you direct your attention at. That was my largest ever course: people became sure that there were things they didn’t see…

And that is ‘damn!’ interesting. That you don’t see what you don’t expect to be there.

But if you look at expectation… you don’t see that you are expecting either.

And judging from your internal state, judging from your level of unhappiness, you are, most of the time, disappointed, frustrated, angry, resigned, maybe even depressed…

And these are all the CONSEQUENCE of expectation.

Depression is unfocused anger, turned inward. You overcome it by aiming your empathy, concern, and assistance outward, toward someone else. Anyone else.– Roy H. Williams

Everyone has very smart things to say, but no one goes deep enough.

Unless you change the roots, the tree doesn’t change. If your anger is really disappointment, you need to learn to expect to see what you’ll see… not what should be…

  • Believe it or not, seeing is a skill… like suckling is a skill a new baby needs to learn. Suckle in a way that it is not too fast, so the milk doesn’t go down the wrong pipe…
  • Consider that the same skill: ‘not too fast’ is also an element of the skill’s name is ‘seeing’. Calm, sober, not hasty, not eager, not any emotion. Just look and see…

Do you have that skill?

Only when you see that way does reality open up to you. And only when you have the skill to want reality to be the way reality is, WANT! NOT JUST ALLOW! reality to be the way reality is, that you can be effective with reality.

The unhappiest of us keep on doing the same thing expecting a different result.

To the degree, and the largest area of life you do that, the unhappier you are.

There is probably no human alive on the planet who doesn’t, at least to some degree, do that.

I do that around eating, around my health. It only gets conscious some of the time. This morning is one of those times.

When I look, I have been doing that as long as I remember.

I was born a preemie… not quite ready for the world outside of the womb. I was kept, I was told, in the hospital for a long time. And I am also told I was fed formula. I threw up, like clockwork, every single night, and also cried a lot.

A real pain in the tuchus for my mother.

My stomach never stopped hurting. But after a while I was just weak. Too ready to tire.

OK when sitting, not OK when standing, or walking, or god forbid, running.

I am experimenting with my stomach now. Maybe it is my stomach not my age that renders me an old woman…

And to my utter surprise, I am getting stronger, yesterday I even went for a little walk: as far as the corner of the park… a hundred yards and back. I was OK.

I hadn’t been able to do that for about a  year now.

Obviously I’ve been expecting my stomach to be different than it is. Expecting it to be like everyone else’s… But it isn’t.

And instead of being sad, instead of being frustrated, instead of giving up, I’d better start attending to my stomach, and treat it as a ‘it is how it is’, not well. Will never get well… probably.

If 75 years of doing the same thing over and over didn’t work… why continue doing it?

There is a lie perpetuated in the world that you can fix, you can heal anything. What if you can’t? What is that is not the nature of reality?

What if people are supposed to treat you the way they do, because that is the way they treat you?

That continuing trying to fix it hasn’t made them change their ways, because that is not the way of reality?

Maybe you are an unpleasant SOB… maybe you are needy… Or just maybe you are forcing your goodness down their throat! Or your smartness… Or your insights… Maybe your importance.

Maybe if you stopped expecting THEM to change their ways, and you chose to change YOUR ways, life could be a whole lot better.

Change your ways?

Every one of my students has been trying to force, sweet-talk, dupe the world to respond the way they want it to respond. People, luck, money, whatever.

And to their utter frustration, the world responds the way the world responds.

And to MY utter frustration, they don’t stop and ponder. I don’t particularly like Tony Robbins, but he says something brilliant that I think no one LOVES. He says:

When you succeed, you party. When you fail, you ponder. All greatness comes out of pondering.

What is that pondering, you’d ask if you were intelligent. Most don’t. Don’t ask. Don’t think to ask. And nothing changes. They don’t know what pondering is. They may obsess, but not ponder.

Want to know what it is? Here you go: pondering is looking at what you did, what was the expectation, and what was reality. If you can see that you had a ‘should’ reality giving you your action, then the pondering IS a pathway to greatness…

Because you cannot be great, an action cannot be effective, unless it is considering reality the way reality is.

Darn, right?

The percentage of the time when the combined eight billion strong humanity sees reality and acts consistently with seeing it and not making it wrong, is a grand total one percent.

The rest of the time reality is not reality. Reality is either not seen at all, like in the case of the can’t coke. Or it is a shouldn’t reality. Or it is a should reality.

The harmfulness of positive thinking, or the ‘law’ of attraction is right here, at this point.

I have a student who, for ten years, bought all my courses, came to all my classes, got all my energies, and yet didn’t move… he was firmly rooted at the same place in life.

He was a firm believer that the nature of reality is such that it moves towards those who want, desire, and therefore attract.

Finally in a workshop he decided to give a different worldview a try.

This worldview may come from Wallace D. Wattles. Nature, reality, the ‘formless stuff’ will meet you halfway… if you go halfway yourself.

Go halfway… is what he says, and whether it is true or not, I don’t know. But in the case of this student, going even to one tenth of the way is a breakthrough. And he is now on this way.

Something, an expectation, a thought: this is how it is supposed to work, keeps you not doing your ‘go halfway’ bit.

Another favorite of the unhappy comes from blind and deaf Helen Keller, who didn’t know any better. She said: hold your face to the light, and you won’t see the shadows.

Hell, if you don’t see the shadows your actions are going to be… ahem… stupid.

So is that a good advice? Avoiding reality?

I want you to see the light, but I want you to interact in the obstacle course made by the shadows. The shadows are real.

No matter what false teaching you have been following, straightening yourself out is hard. Difficult. Unpleasant. And it also takes certainty and courage.

And, of course, intelligence.

Intelligence is often as simple as seeing things for what they are, and interacting with them as they are what they should be.

My IQ is quite high, but it’s taken me 75 years to see that it is my stomach that is making me not very fit to live… And given that my stomach, like a chronically ill person, needs constant care, I can give that care… as soon as I figure out what it is, and eliminate what it isn’t.

Does it feel good to see that I’ve been stupid for 75 years? No… It is the shadows part of reality. But I can take it.

In fact I can take anything that comes at me.

I am not a pansy, I am not a Milque toast, I am ‘Man’…

In the book I am currently reading, Douglas E. Richards: Portals, the author talks about a grand experiment (my words) of terraforming millions of planets to be like Earth and ‘plant’ a seed of humanity on it. Most of these worlds, most of these ‘earths’ are now empty of intelligent life. The humans on these planets became extinct, or self-destructed at some point.

You can consider each of these planets a person or a group of people and see the human condition play out there.

You can see yourself, and your belief system… and see how that would play out if an entire planet of people adhered stupidly to that belief system. Would they thrive? Would they wither and die?

Or maybe, like some of my students, wish everyone dead, and that is how your planet’s population dies? If everyone ‘feels’ that way? No love, no cooperation… no community. You want to be accepted but you accept no one.

Or maybe, like in the book, the planet of Coreia, you are a good little soldier, because that is what is required from you… but as your eyes open, you start seeing that you have power, that you can, that you can think for yourself… and … I don’t know what will happen in the book… I am only halfway through it. What I think may happen is that you LEAVE the space where the only action allowed to you is being a subject, complaining. And like my student who after 10 years is now going to meet Life, you’ll start acting, and doing, and stop hoping.

It is an interesting way to look at yourself and what you’ve been considering the only RIGHT…

Another way to get to this view is to answer this question: what would the world be like if everyone were the exact way YOU are?

When I looked, some 20 years ago, what I saw made me a whole lot more tolerant to how people are. I saw that if everyone were trying to prove how smart they were, like I did, the world would be an even more horrible place to live.

Is it a horrible place to live? Hell yeah. It is quite horrible.

But that doesn’t mean you can’t be successful, happy, joyful, and love YOUR life… and live it powerfully.

How the world is is how the world is. How people are is how people are. You have a choice: try to fix how the world is, how people are, or put all your power in living the best life you can, get the tools to do that, and… do that.

I know misery loves company. But you can refuse to become ‘the’ company.

The most important skill for you to do that is to increase your skill to see.

It’s been proven that having the capacity to see won’t make you see. Bummer, eh? All that work with the DNA and not what was missing.

You see, if seeing is a skill, then no energy can give it to you… other than in your dreams.

There is another valid and very important part in the book where the Coreians explain that their science is able to transfer knowledge to the subject’s brain, in two whole weeks and a bunch of electrodes implanted you the subject’s brain.

But… listen up! when it’s a language the subject then speaks daily, the knowledge sticks. But if it is, let’s say, medicine, even if the subject is a doctor, most of that knowledge disappears, because only a little bit of the knowledge is used by a doctor on any given day. Same is for nurses, eh Helen?

As you see, a skill is knowledge. Know how to do… and do it that way.

So no energy, no DNA change can give it to you. You learn it and then practice it. Not like a practice, but the way you use language… in your daily life.

Seeing. If you use the skill of seeing, then you’ll attempt to see what IS there, instead of what WAS there yesterday, or what SHOULD BE there by some delusional thought.

And yeah, unless you see that way, you’ll be unhappy and ineffective in life. Guaranteed.

So what is a prerequisite to practice seeing so you’ll have the skill to see?

Much of what happens, much of what you need to see is invisible to you now.

There are 53 videos in my 53 invisibles program, and about 100 distinctions. Distinctions are the building blocks of seeing things the way they are… and interacting with them accordingly.

The more distinctions you have the more effective you are in life… and the happier you are.

Most people have very few distinctions… and that may mean you.

For the next week I am offering a 50% off coupon if you buy the 53 videos…

You can watch them in any order, but there is an ideal order given what is going on in you and in your life. You can book a short session with me if you want to start with what is most painfully missing for you.

Also, unless the distinction is practiced… meaning unless you start to see the distinction in your life, you just got information, and between you and me, it is WORTHLESS…

So after you watch a video, take a week or more to start finding what the video talks about, in your life. Don’t want to do it? Then don’t buy the program, you’ll be wasting your money.

Here is the coupon code that gets you 50% off before October 4 midnight. The coupon code is INVIS

100 distinctions at half price

Alternatively you may opt to buy one of the invisibles. The invisible machine. The one that eats your lunch. The one that makes you keep on doing the same thing and expecting a different result.

It’s called The Racket. This is explained in four videos. But all the ‘knowledge’ is worthless unless you learn to see and recognize the racket in action… unless you can see what triggers it and thus arrest the racket.

Learn to see clearly one invisible dynamic

PS: This Saturday (October 1) we’ll have the long awaited Soul Correction Live workshop. at 11 am.

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Author: Sophie Benshitta Maven

True empath, award winning architect, magazine publisher, transformational and spiritual coach and teacher, self declared Avatar

1 thought on “The filter of expectation… what should be there but isn’t”

  1. The simple root of life?

    “You have a choice: try to fix how the world is, how people are, or put all your power in living the best life you can, get the tools to do that, and… do that”?


    “The can doesn’t have a way to open it.”

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