3 Coaches, Avoiding Confrontation, What’s Your Filter?

avoiding confrontation 3 Coaches, Avoiding Confrontation, What's Your Filter?

I now have three coaches. Three different people, three different styles, three different world views. the only thing that is common among them is that they represent a world view polar opposite to mine.

Why would I hire coaches so different from me? Because I hope that their different vantage points will make my own filters visible to me. I don't expect them to catch my filters... but I promise I will. As soon as I see them.

Now, if you are paying attention, you should be asking, what is a filter... coffee filter, U.V. filter... what the heck are you talking about Sophie?

If you didn't ask this question, I assert that you sleepwalk through life and "for you everything is the same as everything else... except that not always."

Offended? Good.

I have been beating the water and the fish example to death... but it's a good one. Unless the fish jumps out of the water, and has a chance to look down long enough to observe that he is not in water, and what is underneath him is water... this fish of ours will never realize that he has been living in water.

That is a filter.

Everything that you can't notice, that no one can convince you that you are swimming in... is a filter. Invisible, to you, normal, to you, binding, for you...

One of the filters that define my life is my relationship to controversy and confrontation.

I've been living, for the most part of my life, as if I can't defend myself, as if I can't defend my ideas, as if I can't defend my stuff. That my only chance for being myself, being able to live true to my ideals and principles is to live alone, and surround myself with people who agree with me, preferably admire me.

When I can't do that, I can be sure to lose. It's a sure bet.

avoid confrontation, be a doormat My landlord will overcharge me. Will threaten me. Will let me live without a working stove for years. Without a working furnace for weeks in the dead of winter. For years with peeling walls, floors and ceilings.

The idea of standing up for myself came from others, but "they don't know me, they don't know that I can't..."

The past month I finally stood up to my landlord (a little bit!) and he has done about 5% of what he was supposed to do... and today I experience the fear again. I have to work to standing up for myself, probably till I die.

All my life I watched people get what they wanted, but they "probably" had some magical quality about them, something I didn't... lol. They didn't have my filter...

One way this filter manifests is how I shy away from arguments. How I never participated on teams or team sports. How I never got a promotion or a raise when I had jobs, regardless of the quality of my work. When challenged I go meek, I go shy, I go stupid. Just thinking about this I have dread rising up my chest and breathing is suddenly difficult.

There are all kinds of filters one can have.

All three of my coaches think that saying that something is hard or difficult, or wrong is a really bad thing: now you are stuck with that and what are you going to do about that? They can't see it as a filter: but I can: I don't have that. Saying that something is hard makes me roll up my sleeves and go for it. Unless, of course, it includes arguing with someone... Then I'll pay possum. lol.

Another type of filter is one that makes you impulsive and jump before looking: a friend has that.

He bought into an investment scheme some time ago. We discussed it several times. He gave me "all" the numbers, and it looked good.

Then I started to suspect that something wasn't right. He is starting to have blood pressure issues: and he never had any reason to see a doctor his entire life, before this investment.

This morning I asked if we could discuss the thing again, and if I could see all the numbers... 1 Found out that his best course of action would be to drop the whole thing, all future earnings, everything, because his monthly management fee is so high, that there is no way he can make money, no matter what the return on investment will be, and it is much less than expected.

This was the first time I heard about that management fee... he conveniently hid it from me and himself, until he lost enough money that he will need to declare bankruptcy.

His filter filters out all the bad stuff, like monthly exorbitant fee, and lets through only the information that shows that people are good, the investment is good, and he will make money. A deadly filter, maybe even worse than mine... lol.

So, if you've read this far, you are probably asking what to do with your self-defeating filters... and if you aren't, you should.

The answer is going to surprise you: you can't do away with your filter. Filters can't be killed, they can only be managed.

Some of us are ready to manage it ourselves, others, like my friend, will probably need me to keep it in front of him for a while, until he learns to ask the question himself: is this a filter? Is it stopping me from seeing the whole picture? Stopping me from taking care of myself? Stopping me from living my life to the fullest?

Of course, connecting to Source, getting activators, and learning about your filters, about the machine that runs your life will make it faster, and a lot more effective, than leaving it to chance or to another person.

My programs are about connecting and learning... developing new brain pathways, developing new capacities, developing a strong guidance system. It all starts with learning to connect to Source... it's simple. It's easy. It's fast.... as long as your filters are the same as mine.

On the other hand if your filters are different, it is going to take a few times coming to the connection webinar, me checking your connection and correcting your filter's misinterpretations.

I now have enough data to know that a normal person will misunderstand the instructions every step of the way: and there are about 6 steps and a lot of ways to misinterpret them.

Until you experience the connection live, you have no idea what you are missing. So far the feedback is "I have never experienced anything this powerful before!" I have the emails to prove.

Come, let me help you connect.

Go to http://raise.yourvibration.com to sign up or try the form below...

Footnotes

  1. I have some understanding of business, I have an almost complete mba... just one credit short. I had a one-sided argument... and I quit... lol

Author: Sophie Benshitta Maven

award winning architect, magazine publisher, transformational and spiritual coach and teacher, self declared Avatar

2 thoughts on “3 Coaches, Avoiding Confrontation, What’s Your Filter?”

  1. Sophie: Congrats for standing up, even if just a little bit. I have a similar filter; I avoid confrontation too. I was once told that I do so because I experienced much conflict on the battlefield in a past life lol.

    But is “standing up” for oneself necessarily confrontational? No, but it usually feels that way to me.

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