The art of getting what you want. Learn it! And then USE it!

Please email me if you find a typo or something unclear. Thank you. Sophie

I really want you to come to my Moneyroots workshop. Now you know.

Does it mean you’ll come?

Given that I am begging… probably not.

But what else can I do?

Well, there is a process… a proven, count-on-able process I have learned 35 years ago… and have been neglecting nowadays… So yeah, there is a process to get you to come to a class I consider important… and whether you come or not is really up to me.


In life you get what you work for, what you fight for, what you negotiate for successfully.

I read one person’s email regularly. He is the ‘brother from another mother’. He teaches to sell… Selling is the highest paying activity.

You see, everything needs you to be sold, all ideas, even your work needs to be sold, or you’ll be poor.

I often say: you get in life what you work for. Charlie Munger says: you get what you deserve. And ultimately: you get in life what you earn by successfully selling something.

Your work, your ideas.

Another word for selling is negotiating.

When you look at selling as negotiating you look at it differently than the mainstream teaches.

Jim Camp, master of negotiating says: Negotiation is the effort to bring about an agreement between two or more parties, with all parties having the right to veto.

Veto means: saying no.

Selling is negotiating one of those agreements where one person ends up with the goods, the other with the money…

But let’s not limit negotiating to selling.

  • Today’s populace is not even hinted that they have the right to veto… anything.
  • Today’s populace has things shoved down their throats, and like a little baby when told: open big: they open their mouths.

Just look at the family. Look at school. Look at marriage. And look at the workplace.

Do you see any room to say no? Where you have the right to say no, and the other party respects it? No.

So today’s populace has no experience of their power, and therefore today’s populace doesn’t even think of negotiating.

Now, mind you, just saying no can be tricky. If all the power lies with the other, with the system, with the family, the school, the workplace, and all you can do is say ‘no’, don’t expect to be well.

I was taught that from early on.

As a child I exercised my right to veto, but I didn’t have the right to veto… did I? So I was beaten, diligently. Or force-fed…

When I was in my third year of architecture school, I had a nervous breakdown. I got well, but my mother didn’t want to take me home. She said ‘She doesn’t want to do the dishes‘… I had to stay in the loony bin for ten days longer while to hospital ‘negotiated’ with my mother.

Although my mother felt guilty, she had the right to veto, and she exercised it. I did NOT have the right to veto… Not about anything.

And about half of my life, or maybe more, was spent under someone’s rule.

What I didn’t know then, and therefore couldn’t do… What I didn’t know then, and didn’t know I could have learned. And even when I learned, I didn’t know it is a power tool and could have turned the tables for me is there is an art to negotiation, and once you learn it, once you master it, you can exercise your right to veto, and you can negotiate anything.

My Friday podcast partner is learning it.

Our calls are in essence coaching conversations, where we deal with issues that come up in life. Hers come up, mostly, in the context of work.

And for a little while, the focus has been: are you driving your life, or are you a passive passenger? Are you the boss, or are you a hapless effect?

Something happens in her business, and then we discuss it. Look at it from left, from right, from above, from below. She starts to seeing it differently, gets the bigger picture, and then I teach some power tool, some ‘boss tool’, so she can start implementing it in all her life…

So, in essence, the Friday podcast calls are a case study too…

Arguably the most useful program I offer. It is also the least expensive.

Occasionally I attempt to teach high level stuff… like yesterday. How high?

What I was attempting to teach yesterday is the underlying actions of successful negotiations, with someone else, or even with yourself.

With yourself? Yes. It is the kind of steps that you need to take to enroll yourself that what you are planning to do has a chance in reality to be successful.

Taking it through the stages of the process.

You see, the process I attempted to teach is like a Swiss Army Knife: you can use it to see if something is viable. You can  use it to negotiate with another. And you can use it to manage a project from beginning to end.

It is also the underlying process of selling. If you don’t master it, if you do things out of order, you’ll sell only a few people… and won’t do well in life.

Selling what? Selling yourself, your value. Your companionship, your friendship. An idea. A project. Or a product. Anything.

What I realized yesterday is that I have forgot to use it. Mostly forgot step #1… without which people won’t even hear you out!

And not accidentally, that first step is both the most important step and the step people are the least willing to learn.

Not because it is difficult, but because of the prevalent worldview: it is a zero sum game. It is either you or me… and in the first step you speak against the zero sum game… So very very few people are willing to surrender. Very few people have the generosity of spirit to use it.

That means that the people who do, and I myself haven’t! are the people who win the biggest in life.

Generosity of spirit is what allows, even encourages ‘the other’ to feel like a winner.

And what do people want? They want to feel like a winner! Every.single.person.on.the.planet.

I like to use dogs in to demonstrate.

Why do people like dogs? Because dogs makes you feel loved, important, a true winner, no matter what the world says about you.

The many pictures on the internet showing homeless, out on their luck people who are loved by their dogs brings tears in people’s eyes, and makes them want to have a dog.

Dogs make their owners feel like a winner. Loved. Even celebrated!

Well, that is the job of the first step… to set the context inside which ‘the other’ is already winning. Genius, isn’t it?

Of course used car salesmen, the better ones, call it ‘buttering you up‘ but done well, it works and does the work of negotiating 50%.

I have a student who asks me about one of my teachers, who consistently sold 80% of the people in the room when she worked for Landmark Education.

How did she do it? My guess is that she did the 4-step process before she entered the room with herself first. And then didn’t skip the first step. And didn’t skip the second step. If there was interest she continued and closed the sale. The other, the buyer was always happy.

Anyway, wherever you are in life, learning this tool is in your best interest. It will get you out of jams, out of poverty, out of abusive relationships, out of a mundane life… if you have the motivation to do it.

Obviously motivation is energy. And unless you have enough energy, unless you are well, emotionally, physically, you need to use this process to get well, emotionally and physically.

I have clients who don’t know how to make themselves follow the food list… this process with yourself will get the work done there. Same with cell hydration. Or with ‘doing the homework’ if you study. Same with everything you find yourself not wanting to do, even though you need it.

Anyway, I am raising the price of the Friday Podcast because now the value is higher… it actually teaches you to make more money while having less headaches, breakdowns, and being less busy. So it is a lot more valuable.

Get real business tools every Friday

In today’s Moneyroots workshop (at 11 am EST)

I’ll make sure to point out how the skills I teach in the Friday Podcast can and will make people more money, no matter what their individual way to make money, save money, or spend money.

Just that ‘little’ tool of negotiation.

I’ll make sure to throw in some unadvertised goodies so you can get started to make more money faster.

Moneyroots… the roots that grow your money

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Author: Sophie Benshitta Maven

True empath, award winning architect, magazine publisher, transformational and spiritual coach and teacher, self declared Avatar

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