Summary: this article started out to be short and sweet and, because it is so important, became really big. The most important things are said in the footnotes, so don’t miss them. The article reveals what it is you need and probably don’t have, will never have, to become an Expanding Human Being. But it is good to know, at least you will know what you can and what you can’t… and stop deluding yourself, and others.
To celebrate that amazon kicked me out, I am offering a 2 for 1 on all my remedies… until further notice. Go to the special site I made….
Of all the things you’ll ever do in your life, probably the most difficult, the most puzzling is to simply get started. To take that first step and start moving in the right direction. To jump in and know that you can do what will come up… Terrifying.
If this is your desire, and we’ll look at it as a “business”, and we’ll consider you as an entrepreneur, because the rules of becoming who you want to be is most alike to an entrepreneur’s building a new business. As I say that, I know I have just lost 90-95% of the readers… and that is exactly what I intended to do. If you are interested in dabbling, or if you are just a curious butterfly, none of what I teach is relevant to you, and you break my heart. 1
Entrepreneurs are people who go from something and build something. And they often struggle because they virtually always start by asking the question, “What shall I do first? What’s the first step?”
Although it sounds like an intelligent question, it is the source of a lot of grief. Even if it is just cleaning your 4 bedroom apartment, it may be the wrong question. Why? It isn’t that the question in and of itself is wrong, but what you MEAN when you ask it, is what makes it a wrong question. And the answer to it isn’t the answer you need. 2
Answer that question and you may get started, but you won’t get far. It always leads to struggle, overwork, stress, poor results, mistakes, loss of time and energy… loss of dreams, loss of confidence.
The reality is, starting a anything shouldn’t be a struggle. If you know the right first step to take – the right questions to ask.
What are the right questions? The questions behind the question…
- hat would I like to accomplish? What is the dream? What is the goal? What is the direction of this journey?
- Where am I standing? What is my current world view? Who am I in the world?
- What are my assets? What’s going for me that would and could support me on this journey.
- What are my liabilities? Weaknesses, time liabilities, relationship liabilities, habit liabilities, etc. i.e. what will work against me taking the journey, and traveling doing the work in earnest?
- What is my track record? Have I, in the past, proven that I can take direction, stay the course, go through hardship and disappointments, take course correction (coaching), and be a self-starter who will do the work without supervision? Will I even remember, or will I be distracted by shiny objects, by poor attitude, by fear, trepidation, laziness, or lack of understanding?
- What is my machine, what is my ego has to say about an ambitions plan like this? This is really important to know, know the exact workings of the machine, and the exact triggers and cycle.
- Does the soul have enough energy to guide me?
- Is my physical health, my environmental health, my relationship health, my organizational health, support an ambitions plan like this?
- Is my level of skills going to take me far? Am I willing to build new skill? Am I willing to invest time and money to get the tools I’ll need when I need them? Or am I going to resent that I need to invest…?
- Is my level of comprehension, is my level of self starting going to enable me to stay on track? Am I willing to raise my level of comprehension?
- Do I know why I want to take this journey? Is it big enough, urgent enough, to last me the whole journey, or will I need to upgrade them on the way?
These are the questions that you should ask first, and get honest answers. The five questions are an excellent way to get others’ input, without ever mentioning your project! Don’t!!!!!
Of course, I know that most of you aren’t interested in a BIG transformation, just want a little bit better life, a little bit more grace and ease.
But no matter what you are intending to achieve, you need to see if what you got will take you there…
If you plan to travel to a city 300 miles from where you are, you still need to check if what’s going for you and what’s going against you will make it possible or not.
Expanding Human Being means: I’ll get the skills, I’ll get the knowledge when I need them
This is “In Time” learning, in time action, in time effort… instead of what you have been taught: “Just in case” learning, action, effort… all not ready, not directed, not useful on the long haul.
Yesterday I did a meditation exercise to release that chest tightness that I call “greed.”
I decided on that exercise because one of the participants logged onto the call and I could feel his feelings for a whole 30 minutes. That is the exercise he needed, and I assumed that if he needed it, everyone may need it.
This is “in time” learning. It was fabulous. It was part of the Effortless Abundance Activator package. If you have it, you have access to it. If you don’t… well, what are you waiting for?
The experience was very useful for me, because I could observe, that greed goes hand in hand with your habit of saying that how it is, how you are is wrong.
We could say that the roots of greed is “wrong”. Now, given your propensity for making yourself and things wrong, would not it be a great skill to learn, ejecting that wrong/greed monster from your chest, and be free, powerful, and return to well being, fast, and easy?
Some of you would have to do it 10-20-30 times a day in the beginning, but it is a 10-second exercise, that changes lives.
I bet that what holds you most back from anything is what’s “wrong” with you…. am I correct in thinking that?
And as long as you have no skills to deal with that feeling, you will fail at any project you take on, or if you succeed, it will be a Pyrrhic victory.
- The biggest let-down to me is when someone on a webinar, or even on a personal 1-on-1 call thanks me for my time. I get stomach cramps as if they kicked me there… Anything, writing an article, answering your email, talking to you on a webinar or on a call… I give you much more than some time out of my busy schedule.
I give you my undivided attention, the 60 years of experience and learning, and my love, my care. Of course, you can’t admit to that, because then you would be indebted to me. So you thank me for my time… and I feel like you just pissed on my leg…
Another reason you thank me for my time, is because you don’t know love from shinola… clearly. Because you don’t love, because you don’t know how to care, you don’t recognize it either. I used to be like you: not be able to see love. Or feel love. Or even understand it. Until I saw my father’s wife love him… and I now know. Love is precious. And I have an awful lot of love to give… and I do on my calls, in my articles, and no one can tell… Because you think love is gushing… Gushing is the pretense of love. The love that is all about you, not about the beloved.
- You know that I am an architect. I worked as such for 17 years, so it is not just a degree… lol. I used to watch people “design” a house or an apartment by doing what is the first step in their world: the entry hall… The result is a drawing, but not a livable house. And you do the same with your life, this is why I say: it’s the wrong question.
- What I mean here, by acculturation, inculturation, and indoctrination is how the dominant culture, the dominant way of thinking forces itself to you, brain washes you, unless you have the capacity for independent thinking, which they never teach you… so it is as rare as real caring, real love, real goodness… rare rare rare. It needs you to be willing to forgo love, fame, belonging, and be willing to go it alone, because “culture” has a way of only accepting people who think the same, look the same, speak the same, and reject the rest. Once you get the Unconditional Love Activator to at least 40%, you start to become that person who has the courage to think independently.