The gap… let’s see how to use it to move forward, upward

Please email me if you find a typo or something unclear. Thank you. Sophie

Yesterday I had a huge whatever it is you call when you end up with cream on your face… cream from a cream pie.

I had been dismayed that my clients aren’t getting the gap, and therefore they don’t present me with real coaching opportunities.

I am intentionally writing this in a self-deprecating way, because I am, I have been humbled.

How? I said: it is easy…

…and then wanted to think of an example, and could not.


So it is not just them?

OK, that means it is time for me to practice what I am teaching. lol. funny, but not THAT funny.

OK, let’s see. Step 1: find an area that is not where you would like it to be.

OK, that is not as difficult yet as it may get later.

So here is one of my areas:

The percentage of people who are responsive to my emails, to my articles.

  • Point A, how it is: 44% of people open my emails, but only every third person of those actually click through to my article of the day.
  • Point B, how I’d like it to be: More of the openers to click through and read my article… Or do something on my site, or buy something.

Ultimately what makes a person responsive from my vantage point, is that they buy something that can train them, teach them. That is what I’d like.

OK, I now have one gap… and someone could coach me through it, so I’d get to B… however they think that can be done.

Here is a gap, not mine.

  • Point A: the person is using the coherent water. It is set up correctly, and yet their cell hydration is very low… and that makes them not just not healthy, but literally moronic. When the cells are not hydrated enough, the whole organism is in scarcity, survival mode, and it has no interest in the person’s intellectual endeavors.
  • Point B: the person’s cell hydration would be always above 7%.

You see, that there is a gap… and there is a solution… but they don’t know it, or wouldn’t be where they are at: survival, and being moronic.

Let me see another example.

  • Point A: the person signed up to the 67 step coaching program. Their reports are not reflecting that she even heard the audios, she writes about herself and what she thinks, while she is supposed to report on what she sees, what is shown to her. After all the 67 steps coaching program is like a sight activation

Here is an analogy that is maybe easier to grasp: she went to watch a movie in the movie theater. She comes back and writes a report on the movie she supposedly saw, but all she is saying is how she feels, what she thinks, not even about the movie, independently.

  • Point B: she starts documenting what she sees as a result of hearing the audio.

I am going to take you roughly how the coaching would be.

The issue is that her self-concern, her self occupies 91% of her cone of vision. so that is, herself, her opinions, her feelings is all she is seeing. Being a student requires that it’s not about you. None of it. So you need to take yourself out of the picture… as unimportant, so you can actually hear and see everything else.

How do you do that?

My theory is that you put yourself into the picture because you are concerned about yourself. About how others think of you. They don’t. How others see you. They don’t care. Whether you sound smart or stupid, would be my guess here.

And that concern is what puts you in the picture… whereas nothing is about you in those audios… Not a thing.

You cannot learn anything if your self-concern is strong. So the job is to reduce your self concern.

The self-concern is the result of another gap: the gap between how you are, and how you want to be seen, how you would like to be.

I call the higher one ‘precious I’. It is not real. Moreover, it is a fraud. It is a mirage. It is a pretense. But you are protecting it.

In the ‘from inflated to humble self’ program we looked and picked a much humbler self-image for the participants. Mine is ‘bumbling idiot’.

So someone with a sky-high ‘precious I’ a self-image, like ‘dense’, or ‘clueless’, or ‘can’t tell her ass from a hole in the ground’ could work miracles.

She will, any moment, either that low self-image, or something better. But will be teachable, while with the ‘precious I’ self-image she cannot be taught anything, because she has to pretend that she already knows.

Did she ask for coaching? No. That is the problem with this gap method… If you have an inflated self-image, you can’t ask for coaching. Because you would have to allow the ‘coach’ to see your underbelly…

So I’ll do something that I have never done before:

If you can come up with a gap, formulate it as a request for coaching, and send it to me, I’ll coach you for nothing. If it is interesting, I’ll publish it on this site, or in an email. I’ll keep your name private… so people can’t guess who you are.

I know a coach who sells this kind of coaching for 10K a year… He coaches exclusively business. You can have a request for coaching in any area where you suspect that I can have some valid solutions to your conundrum.

Use this special email address: coaching at

PS: This type of coaching could be also called Trim Tab Coaching, or Kaizen Coaching… because the steps are bite size.

This reminds me of the smart donkey. Much smarter than most humans with their ‘precious I’.

Here is a video to tell the story of the smart donkey. There is a lot for you to learn from it.

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Author: Sophie Benshitta Maven

True empath, award winning architect, magazine publisher, transformational and spiritual coach and teacher, self declared Avatar

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