Attitude… what is it? What is the difference between your feelings, your emotions, and your attitude?
Who you are is your essence. It is not a reaction to some circumstance, like it’s late in the day. Your essence doesn’t change because you are tired.
Your who is created. Your who responds well to verbal command, just like you responded well when someone said: your name is Joseph, or whatever they said. You said: “OK, I am Joseph.” And then it never changed, It may have been shortened to Joe, but it didn’t change that you were Joe. The who. But that who was just a label.
You, when you have a strong connection between your Self and your word, can declare yourself a certain who, your essence.
In class, yesterday, we set out to experiment with it, and test our ability to declare who we are.
Every person on the call took on declaring that who they are is happy.
What we took on is this: who I am, my essence is happy. That doesn’t mean I will not feel angry, tired, maybe even depressed when I do. But it will be different, because NOW I have an essence. And my essence is happy.
So, how is a happy person different from a person who doesn’t have an essence? Who hasn’t picked from all the possible essences the one that they decide to be?
You know those dolls that have a weighted bottom? I used to have the Russian version… you could throw it hard and it would just roll over and stand back on its base.
The heavy base is the essence. The more you practice it the heavier it becomes. The stronger your relationship to your word, the heavier it becomes. The more you connect your inner and outer self, the vertical self and the horizontal self, the heavier it becomes.
So when you notice that you are frustrated, you chuckle, because that is what a happy person do. And you let to of the frustrated, or not. But either way, a happy person is frustrated.
When you feel depressed, a happy person feels depressed. When you feel tired, then you rest. When you feel hungry, you eat. When you feel lazy, you rest.
All of those activities are done by a happy person. No need to “act” happy. Happy is not what you see on television: jumping up and pumping your fist. If it is an emotion, I would say it is victory. But the person’s essence is underneath it.
No, happy is a function of something much more inner: “happiness is a function of accepting what is. Accepting reality exactly the way it is, without resistance.”
The state of that acceptance, the state of looking at reality and allowing it to be, is what is called happy.
You have probably never experienced it. But when you declare your essence as that, you will know what is what. You will look to see what is reality, and attempt to accept it.
Your habits may still belong to a fixing person who has not essence. But it’s a process, don’t fret. You are now a weighted bottom doll, and you will return to happy soon enough.
So, when you are tired, you don’t make it wrong. You don’t say “I should not feel tired”, you’ll say: “tired = reality, happy = acceptance. OK, I feel tired. No problem. I rest.”
You’ll notice that when tiredness isn’t resisted, it goes away really fast. Not because you want it to go away. That would be resistance, and it’s out of character for “happy.”
My chosen essence, my chosen “who” is authentic: nothing hidden. But a happy authentic: someone who is able to stand in front of reality and stare right at it. And say: “Oh, that. So that is how it is. Super.” or dive into it, however gory it may look, and see what’s underneath it. Without much blinking.
There are sacred states that are perfect for “who”. What to pick? I recommend you pick “happy.” Why? Because as humans go, you are probably riddled with resistance to how it is.
Any other “sacred” name will do, but this one, “happy” is perfect. It addresses the core disconnection between the two selves.
By the way, this is not for the sake of other people. This is also something you may not want to share with the uninitiated. They will look for outward expression of happy, which is that pumping fists… and that is a show, that is a pretense.
Please. You would not undress in front of people and show them your birthmark… or cut out your heart to prove you have one.
Decency demands you to keep it to yourself… it is your treasure. It is your essence. Protect your boundaries.
It is who you are. Your essence. Your attitude… the way you relate to everything.
Others will see your name, your actions, your clothes, your position… and that is what they should see…
Summary: WHO is your core, and it never changes. WHAT is the momentary being…
core = essence = Self all on the vertical. It is like the depth… where you never change.
what: behavior, feelings, results… all on the horizontal. on the surface. It is like the clothes you wear… they don’t change who you are, but they interface with the world.