Coming from vs Going to

you-can-take-the-girl-out-of-the-villageSummary: from the comments and email I am getting it is clear that the concept of starting with HAPPY is totally inconceivable to most of you. In my response to a comment I managed to express the essence of it: It is like the skin color you have, it is part of you.

“In the HAPPY I advocate, where you start with HAPPY, stay HAPPY, end HAPPY. It’s not a result. It is who you are. You do what needs to get done to grow, and you are HAPPY while doing it. You are not “happy” to do it, that would be something else again. You are HAPPY, just like you don’t change your skin color according to the type of task you do in life. You stay white, or pink, or yellow, or black… whatever you started with.

It is as if you said “I am white” if you were born white. And then you live according to that.” 1

I have been using a distinction in my last articles when talking about who vs. what, but I never quite explained what I mean.

The distinction of ‘coming from’ 2 vs. going to

Going to is easy: that is where most of humanity lives: always trying to go someplace, fix things, follow some agenda, some goal… Almost 100% certain to make you unhappy and unfulfilled.

In essence ‘coming from’ could be said to be the same as context… but given that none of my students has understood context yet, this is not going to help you. Why you haven’t understood it? Because you live your life with a narrow cone of vision, and the context needs you to keep the cone of vision wide. The cone of vision through which you live life, through which you look at what’s happening.

We could say that ‘coming from‘ could be said in another way: coming with… armed with, with the certainty of, with the conviction of… etc.

This isn’t going to make it easier, but it may help some of you.

h6FC44124It is the attitude you come with, it is the attitude that you bring to an event, or a conversation. To Life.

Sometimes I hear it asked it in casual conversation: where are you coming from that you say that? Especially when something seems to come from left field.

‘Coming from’ is an interruption to the world of agenda driven living, ordinary life, where people and things have only one role: to block you or support you. Things and people are treated all as commodity to put up with or manipulate, force, coerce, beat, win over, made wrong… enemy.

The normal world where you are an object in a world of objects, and you are trying to make the best of it.

Where you are coming from is your starting point, the point that won’t change. It can be respect, it can be contempt, it can be that we are all in this together. These are examples…

When you have a place to come from, you are never lost. As long as you and your actions are coming from that invented place, you are fine, more than fine: you are on track, because you are not going anywhere, you are coming from a place that you have designed. You have designed as a place where you are whole and complete.

People are not there to comply with your needs or demands, people are not there to frustrate you when they don’t do what they are supposed to do, they are there (suddenly) inside the context you have set, and they are never wrong, they are never things… all is well. Because of the place you invented to come from. Not because of what they do or don’t do.

You can come from a place of love, like Your Witness aspect does. When you come from a place of love, nothing the other person does can make you not love them… it is the place you come from that defines your feelings, not the other person’s behavior.

It is hard to really get this concept when you live an agenda driven life; in your life everything is always wrong, always not what you expected, always needing to be fixed. Including yourself. And in order to be liked, you need to be this or that… and your experience of life is less than perfect.

When you are coming from the place that life is perfect the way it is, then you won’t be obsessed in fitting yourself or your life to match a certain picture, or fixing yourself or others. You can just be, do what you need to do, and have peace, grace and power. Just because you came from a place you designed.

whats your starting pointWhere you are coming from is entirely up to you, you can design it

If you don’t design it, if you leave it to fall where it will fall, to be whatever it wants to be, then you will always go back to the default place to be: everything is always wrong, disappointing, and you can only hope to make it through life and look good when you can.

That means, that you want to design the place you come from. It can be designed every time, or you can pick something that will work all the time.

I always come from a place of love and authenticity. And that ‘no matter what will happen I can handle it.’

Sometimes you don’t know where people are coming from and it fills you with a sense of dread, or impatience.

There are movies like that. You don’t know where they are coming from. If you can stay till the end, you may find that it was an excellent way to find out who you are and how you are when the context isn’t clear. With movies I recommend you can come from a place “Sophie knows her movies” which is a place of trust.

One of the movies that doesn’t tell you early on where it’s coming from is a Scandinavian movie, “After the Wedding”. I think of it at least once a week. I always have tears in my eyes. That was a movie where I was rattled because it didn’t announce in the beginning where it was coming from. I am forever grateful that I hung in there. One memorable movie. Amazing.

I am just downloading it and it will take hours to upload it, edit it, blah blah blah. But it will be in the subscribers area when it’s ready.

Use it to test yourself how much tolerance you have for something that doesn’t say where they are coming from. And watch it for a remarkable experience.

the-space-between-you-and-youMy Activators: They work hard to remove the space between you and you, your resistance to how it is

In the Unconditional Love Activator the goal of the activator is to restore your starting point to “I am loved, unconditionally. Now I can do what I need to do, I don’t need to earn the love I need to feel good about myself”

In the Effortless Abundance Activator the goal of the activator is to restore your starting point to “I don’t need anything, because there is nothing wrong. Now let’s see what I can create from the freedom of no shackles of the ‘I need to’.”

The “Unification” Activator: 3 the goal of the activator is to restore you to a whole human being who operates on all cylinders, instead of the “human” who you have been being, operating out of your mind and your reactions to the circumstances. The activator restores your ability to fire on all pistons, to be steady and the crown achievement of creation.

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  1. the goal is to come from happy. To start with happy. To have happy be your true nature. To change what happy means to: “Happy is a function of accepting what is with no resistance.That happy is an expanded state, where you can see things for what they are; you don’t close your eyes even if what you say is ugly; and you stay there with power and grace and ease. We’ll call THAT happy. Any resistance to ‘what is’ takes one out of happy…

    The happy that you are talking about is a result of some circumstance, fickle, and makes us all “prostitutes” for happy. In a “I’ll screw for happy…” kind of way. You sell your values, you sell your life for the experience of happy. You’ll smile for happy, you’ll work for, beg for, read for, learn for, eat for, lose weight for, win for happy… and you sold out your life.

    The path to that kind of happy is narrow and shallow; there is no need to be a human being, it’s OK to be this superficial, shallow, wanting thing.

    No need to grow, no need to do anything… actually, for that kind of happy you’ll shy away from every effort, every hardship, every serious undertaking, because who wants to go for something like happy at the end of an arduous “struggle”. Right?

    In the HAPPY I advocate, where you start with happy, stay happy, end happy, you do what needs to get done to grow, and you are happy while doing it. You are not happy to do it, that would be something else again. You are happy, just like you don’t change your skin color according to the type of task you do in life. You stay white, or pink, or yellow, or black… whatever you started with.

  2. ‘Do you know where I’m coming from?’
    up vote 7 down vote favorite

    I have heard conversations similar to this:

    ‘I am an Indian and I don’t like racial slurs, do you know where I’m coming from?’
    ‘Yes sir, I understand where you are coming from.’

    I am quite familiar with the phrase ‘where one is coming from’ since that is used a lot where I live. It simply means,

    ‘I understand your point of view’ or
    ‘I can see why you think that’ or
    ‘I can see that your experiences lead you to that conclusion’.

    I would like to know if this phrase is acceptable to native speakers of English because I should be careful not to annoy anyone or commit a faux pas. I hope you know where I’m coming from.

  3. it’s being tested now.I’ll replace this sentence with a link when it’s fully tested and deemed effective

Author: Sophie Benshitta Maven

True empath, award winning architect, magazine publisher, transformational and spiritual coach and teacher, self declared Avatar

5 thoughts on “Coming from vs Going to”

  1. I give myself the space and grace to be at peace, regardless of all exterior circumstances and interpretations. I am a child of the stars and only the stars can judge me, and they only twinkle with benign and fiery indifference.

    I am a human being, and I want to break open the definition of human for myself. I drop my agenda and all agendas imposed upon me.

    Let’s keep working on this, Sophie. For me “Peaceful” might be a better context than happy. I release all neuroses and choose to live in real ease. Then I set up games to play, ways to strive and grow and connect and contribute. Nothing wrong, just choices to explore and experiences to have.

  2. Sorry John, your peaceful is not based on reality.
    The reason I suggested everyone to start with HAPPY, because it forces them to look and see what reality is… your Peaceful is an escape from reality. No go.

  3. Hello Sophie

    This morning my husband asked me “why I love him” and my reply was “I don’t know, I just love you uncondtionally” and he replied I only love with condition and” I replied “Well that’s you not me”. Then after our coversation, I have an upsight that when you love unconditionally, you have no expectation and when you love with condition you have expectation and if not meet then you get upset.
    I am now having this capacity to love uncondtionally since playing the Effortless Abundance Activator 24/7 and drinking the Effortless Abundance Activator that I make from the audio. My relationship with my husband has been transform that I have now a very good relationship with him. Thank you very much Sophie…xo

  4. Marietta, although I love your share, you are not able to love unconditionally… or more precisely only to a degree. If your husband decided to not come home, or start spending all his money on women, that would test your unconditional love…

    But you are able to accept him, and that is a major victory. And that you are not expecting to love you unconditionally is exactly one of the results you get from the Unconditional Love Activator.

    I will publish an article tomorrow with an exercise that will be perfect for your level of evolution: you are ahead of most. Expect it in my morning time… noonish your time.

    I am very proud of you.

  5. Thank you, Sophie. I will work with Happy. I have to say that I find it challenging.

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