When an area of life isn’t working or isn’t working as well as you’d like it to, there is something that you don’t know

tumblr_kxldz31eZQ1qaukckWhen an area of life isn’t working or isn’t working as well as you’d like it to, there is something that you don’t know.

Obviously, if this is true, then it’s true about every area of life… money, your health, your spirituality, your relationships, becoming a person you can like.

But how do you find out what it is that you don’t know… that if you knew that it would make a difference?

That is the question.

Many of those answers are on my blog but you have been only scanning… which means you are only interested in what you already know. Your life stays the same, and I am wasting my life, wasting my breath.

One of the major things that you don’t know is that you don’t pay attention…

I read a book three times before I consider it read… and in between I ponder it for days. Not every book is worth pondering: if it isn’t, I won’t read it. Anything that makes me nod is not worth my time.

I had a conversation with a client today, and it was infuriating. He was a typical American, raised on positive thinking, positive expectations, full of himself.

For the first time ever I could see, not just hear or feel, but see how he found something that his mind connected to, and then he didn’t hear a word more, instead started to speak.

And although he is an exaggerated example, you are just like him.

You listen through the mind, and everything that doesn’t fit you won’t even hear. Or in the case of my blog, you won’t see.

Everything that you know is worthless, at least in the context of the area of life that isn’t working. If it were worth a dime, you would have been applying it and the area would work brilliantly. 1

Everything that you know that you don’t know is worthless, because it is ALMOST never the thing that you think you don’t know. That is why “normal” coaches, “normal” counselors are doing you a disservice when they answer your questions. Your questions come from what you know that you don’t know. There is nothing really valuable there for you.

when life isn't quite workingThe answers you get to questions you would not even think to answer, that bring a sudden insight, maybe even “upsight” that transform the non-working area to working.

I assert that your understanding of what I teach, the amazing powerhouse of a discipline, is below 10%, approaching nul.

Where am I looking to say this? In your results. In your comments. In your vibration.

There are exceptions, of course… so I have a good sample to compare what it looks like when you get something and what it looks like when you got nothing.

Here is the bad news: reading more articles, coming to more webinars, buying more remedies or activators without changing where you listen from is a waste of your time, and a waste of your money.

Until you get into the habit to double take, triple take what you read or hear, and actually start to hear it not as something that nicely rounds out what you already know, or not as something that you agree with, or disagree with, but something that shows up for you as a new way of looking at the world and yourself, no quantity will make a difference.

I am writing a book on getting your life in harmony with your body. This will be my first attempt in 15 years to reach people and not ask them to listen with their intelligence. I will talk to their minds… if that is all they have to offer.

I have hired a marketing consultant who is teaching me how to become like every other guru: making you nod and nod and nod, so you buy what I am selling.

And I may just close this blog as something that failed.

I hate to be so dramatic, but this may be good bye.

Please read the footnotes.

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  1. you Dont Know You Dont Know

    If we put all that could be known in the Universe into a pie chart, a circle, then a small slice of that would be everything that you know and you know that you know it: KK Then there would be another slice that would be everything that you know that you don’t know: KDK

    Then if we want to be very detailed, there would be a slice of stuff that you don’t know that you know: DKK and another slice that you know wrong DKW.

    The rest, about 99% of the pie chart is what you don’t know that you don’t know. DKDK. All the power comes from there, but you can’t get to it with questions. Not at all… or not with normal questions.

    Some questions, like: what is my attitude right now? or what is my agenda? or what am I prejudiced about? the kinds of questions that are taking us to our BLIND SPOTS, you need to LEARN to ask.

    Those questions, if they make you look, will make a difference. The types of questions you normally ask don’t.

Author: Sophie Benshitta Maven

True empath, award winning architect, magazine publisher, transformational and spiritual coach and teacher, self declared Avatar

17 thoughts on “When an area of life isn’t working or isn’t working as well as you’d like it to, there is something that you don’t know”

  1. We don’t need another guru. We need a Sophie. Write the book, make money, but please don’t give up the blog.

  2. Please don’t give up your blog Sophie 🙁
    I’ve done a LOT of nodding in my life, not only in reading, but with people too,, (anything for a ‘quiet’ life?) but your blog has helped me over the last good while to know ‘the shit I think I know’ (makes me feel very superior) and what a strain it is,,, have struggled forever with trying to control me and I’m still lousy at at,, mabe that’s a good thing or a bad thing,, I don’t know!!!!
    I look forward to all your blogs coming in and the first thing I open in my inbox,, and I am still ‘sucking it up & letting it go’… at least when I’m aware of what I’m doing,,, and I am not trying to ‘save’ as many people with my ;knowledge’ as I used to,,, I still try, but get a little glimpse of what I am trying to do (be superior again). So I thank you greatly for being part of my life with your blogs,,,
    Huge Hugs to you xxxx

  3. Hello Sophie

    When I read you might close this blog, I feel so sad. Everyday when I go online, the first thing I check is your website to look for your new artilce or reread your old article. Life will be more difficult without your guidance and wisdom. Please don’t close…

  4. This is an excellent post. There is a difference between reading a book (which lots of people do) and studying a book, implementing it, mastering it (which almost nobody does).

    I learned about the what you know, don’t know, don’t know you know at Landmark but you added two important distinctions here: 1) the gold is in the what you don’t know you don’t know, so listen there and 2) there is a what you know wrong. Never thought about that — it made me laugh. It’s hard to ask questions of your blind spot; I’ll start with what is it I don’t know? The title says it all.

    I understand your frustration — changing the world isn’t easy. You have been at this a long time and have the advantage of being an empath. And you have “done the work.” Students who are unwilling to do any work are wasting your time of course, but if they commit to some work/time, even if it less than you would like, it’s not a total waste. If your mission is to teach people what you know in less time than it took you to learn it, I think you are doing that. But everyone absorbs and implements at a different rate. Most will never get there, some will take longer than you, and you are definitely
    helping some get there faster.

    Of course you have blind spots too. So if you are not getting the results you want, what is it you don’t know?

    Katherine is right, we don’t need another “guru.” You offer something different than the other thought leaders and transformation teachers. Making money with it is a different game. If you make it popular to make money then you risk watering it down. I am sure that others who offer value in the what you don’t know you don’t know area face the same dilemma. Perhaps they accept that they will only reach a few. Obviously some go for the money. Difficult to do both.

  5. Is it so? Did it fail? If I or any of us (your student said something similar) what would you say to me/us… Probably, it ain’t necessary so… or look again… for example, why do they (who ever they are) attack you every now and then?

    And yes, we do need YOU, not a guru

  6. I meant to say:

    1) the gold is in the what you don’t know you don’t know, so listen there

    Perhaps you can correct that.

  7. Michael, did you catch that I asked a question of myself that gets to the “I don’t know I don’t know”? Because blank questions, like asking “what is it I don’t know?” will not get you there, because there is too much to look at.

    I always start with “what is my attitude?” and more often than not (99%) I find the attitude, and then the whole “it isn’t working” is over, because the attitude is mine and I can change it on a dime.

  8. Good clarification. Thank you. So what was your attitude when you wrote this post? Now? Does that help you get over it?

  9. Is sadness an attitude?
    My attitude is maybe Star of Bethleham,,, in the negative 🙁
    I will implement the ‘what is my attitude right now’ on a daily basis. I love the question and have written it down to remind myself to ask it every day. In the past when I have accidently asked myself that question, I’ve mostly come up with resentment, and in just acknowledging that helps me to let it go, and bring my frantic pace back to a space of acceptance and more calmness. Another gem from you Sophie,,
    You so can teach us,, just our filters are a bit (?) blocked,,, like the water filter ,, drip drip osmosis,,,, one drip of water out and a gallon wasted 🙂 x

  10. Sad is the top of the ice berg. Attitude is deep.
    Even resentment is not deep enough, although it is deeper.
    Under resentment is “they are doing it to me” or “them having what they have is a loss for me” or a version of those…
    and even under that: “I don’t want to be responsible for what I have and what I don’t, what I accomplish and what I don’t, what I do and what I don’t..”
    and even below is “I just want to have everything given to me and vegetate…”
    Until you get something that is revolting, you did not go deep enough.

    thank you for doing the work.

  11. my attitude was “hopeless” “used” and “inconsequential”
    I just had a conversation with my Sunday morning partner. this conversation is largely responsible for me not straying from my true being, responsible to straightening me out, every week, every Sunday.

    most of the attitudes that take my south are based on some lie, misunderstanding, prejudice, or unwillingness.
    This way I am never out of integrity longer than a few days. We’ve been at it for seven years.

  12. Sophie, I would love to see your blog continue. It really does take time to get out of the mind and see what you see.
    It’s interesting how you wrote this post and just the other day I’ve been watching some of the movies you’ve recommended and re-reading your older posts and it just appeared to me in a complete different light. I could see why you read a book and watch a movie a few times. I could see stuff you taught earlier from a different angle then I saw it then. Another thing I noticed different in me that I don’t have lots of questions anymore and it irritates me when my clients ask me endless questions that never satisfy the mind. That’s how I used to be though. Now every time a question pops up I do breathing and move the energy upward and it stops the crave to know… Once I start doing more work you teach, things started to get better. I started a new business, met more clients, learning massage, started to do things that of more importance and so on… What you teach does work but what I’ve learned is exactly what you said it’s not about scanning your blogs and coming to webinars, it’s about learning to shut the mind off and do the stuff you teach. Thank you so much Sophie.

  13. Thank you Sophie, coming from you is such a big deal for me, giving me the courage to follow through…xoxo

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