I am becoming clearer and clearer that one of the reasons you may not produce the results in your life, with my teachings, because you don’t understand the words, and you just nod, as if you did. At least that is my experience both on all my calls… so you are probably not an exception.
If looking up the word produces unsatisfying results, then please make sure you ask me in the comments section: I will make sure I explain all the words that don’t make sense. OK?
Incoherence is caused by emotions (mostly fear and greed) and results in delusions.
Emotions first, delusion after… Emotions are a knee jerk reaction to what you see. The two main emotions causing incoherence is fear and greed. Greed is 90% Yew, the desire for something that you are unwilling to earn.
When money is an issue, it is a big survival issue. Money is our livelihood: food, shelter.
When it comes to survival issues, we seem to become incoherent, and we become very easily lead down paths that cause the opposite of what we desire.
When you lose your job, or when business is in such steep decline that you are losing money, we tend to make hasty decisions… and we alternate it with hiding…
Neither of them is going to be effective.
The first step is to get into coherence
The first step to change your money situation is to get into coherence, where your thoughts are organized. Where despair is not the main mood, neither in the foreground nor in the background. It is not suppressed, it is not covered up with hope, it is just not there.
You’ll want to lie about it… but don’t do it. Just work on your coherence, otherwise you are on a slippery slope like cattle lead to slaughter.
All the future will come out of this moment, and this moment and this moment
Scrambled brain, emotionally incoherent thinking will create a scrambled, incoherent view of the world, a scrambled incoherent view of the future.
- This is the first issue: flailing, scrambling.
The second issue is what we call “cheap closure now”. You can call it anything, I often call it greed.
The emotional elements of greed:
- It is wrong. It must be changed
- going for the big gain, the big fix, the magical solution
There are no magic bullets, and this emotional mind-state will cause you to make harmful decisions because, by delusion, it seems, for a while, that all is clear, all problems solved, the future is in your hand.
It’s a mirage. It is not real. The incoherent brain misunderstood, misrepresented the situation.
Often this state comes after you read a sales letter that sells you a “solution to your problem”.
- you don’t have time to implement the solution
- you don’t have the skills to implement the solution
- your base issue will carry over to the solution and fail you.
What are the base issues?
- Unclarity about who you are, what your service or product is worth.
- No idea who your buyer is
- Delusions about how the buying process works
- No selling skills, including knowing how to talk, how to present yourself, how to present the product, how to listen, etc.
I am specifically seeing three people in my mind’s eye:
- NYC Camera Salesman
In the past 20 years he has been selling overpriced electronics, especially cameras, to tourists in New York City.
He is a talker, and that is his main “asset.”
People are using their cell phones nowadays to take pictures… He is not making money.
Desperate, still waiting for other people to save him, rescue him, still only using his only skill, talking. Overselling. NO listening skills whatsoever.
- Distributor of books
Has been doing this for decades. But times have changed, and nowadays people read on their mobile device or pdf. His business declined to the point where it cost more to stay in business than what he makes.
No skills, no savings, no ambition. A mix of desperation and greed: waiting for a miracle.
Takes great pictures. Lacks the selling skills, the confidence, the ambition to learn what it takes to sell her skills.
She is afraid she’ll have to give up taking pictures altogether.
What is in common with these three people, other than their current business is drying up and they are heading to Skid Row, meaning homeless, and penniless, a hobo, if I understand the expression correctly…
The question is: what can they do now to improve their lot and start rising back again?
What I normally do is “hit bottom”.
Bottom is a lose term, you can hit bottom by saying so. If you look at a graph, in graph terms it means the sinking stops and this is the bottom. It is a declaration.
More often than not you need to spend time analyzing the situation: the economy, the business, the business model, your attitude, your behavior, your skills or the lack of them.
It is not about blame, it is a “powerful debriefing”.
You can only do it when you are coherent. It is like balancing your checkbook. The numbers don’t care about your internal state, but if you are incoherent, you’ll make calculation mistakes, or omit important elements that you need to look at and include in the balance sheet.
At the same time, the process causes you to become coherent.
Why is it so important to hit bottom?
The nature of “bottom” is that it is solid. You can’t fall or sink any further. There is a certainty associated with it, a surety, a sense of “I am here”. I am this and that is life… I am this and that is my money. I am this and that is my emotions.
When you hit bottom, real or declared, you can open your eyes and look around. You can look back and evaluate the things you did. Evaluate the thoughts, the delusions you had.
Unless you do that, consciously, without emotion, stating facts, you are doomed to repeat them.
Hitting bottom is a potential line of demarcation between your past and your future. A potential turning point.
To the degree that you can sort it out, and tell the truth, to the same degree it’s a turning point
It is not easy to sort your life out, but it’s possible. It is easier with a coach that doesn’t have an agenda.
Only when you can get into nothing, into no meaning, nothing to fight, nothing to resist, that you can start looking to build your way back up.
If you can connect, and connect frequently, this is a perfect time to “go home” and unite your two halves, so you can get all the guidance from the inside that you need.
Read the previous article about the importance of connecting with your Self
Your inner guidance system will save you from going into Greed, but will allow you to awaken your ambition, your inner desire to get the most out of your life.
Nothing is more attractive than a person fully engaged with what is important to them, while fully living in the world as well.
Some people take it like they should live in the inner half from now on… Unless you have a balance of physical, spiritual and mental, you are still unbalanced, and you’ll hate your life.
I teach that the purpose of Life is to become an Expanding Human Being… I believe that it is what Life wants for you too.
- can’t think straight also not be thinking straight
if you can’t think straight, you are not thinking calmly and clearly about something (I was so tired I wasn’t thinking straight any more. There are so many people talking, I just can’t think straight.)
- bent out of shape
1. Fig. angry; insulted. Man, there is no reason to get so bent out of shape. I didn’t mean any harm. I got bent out of shape because of the way I was treated.
2. intoxicated by alcohol or drugs. I was so bent out of shape I thought I’d never recover. I’ve been polluted, but never as bent out of shape as this.
- get your head on straight=It means to not stray from the truth, or stop acting sill or goofy. To not let the stress get to you and make you see wild visions of your worst imagination. That’s my view on it :)