Or how to set the context to alter the story and therefore alter your actions?
Whether you know it or not, your relationship to life is stiff, inflexible, and therefore ineffective.
You look at things, always, from the same exact perspective, and therefore you see, always, the same old, same old life: good or bad, the same.
The Sideways Method
I have taught you previously a move, that can transform your reality, the sideways view.
Transformation simply means that from one moment to the other, what you see changes.
Your actions are consistent with what you see, not your beliefs, not your thoughts, not reality, but what you see.
If you see threat, you respond accordingly. If you see love, you respond accordingly.
What you see can be altered by where you are looking from, what you are looking for, and what context you see things in.
In the sideways view method you could see the situation from the side: so even if you saw a threat, you didn't have to react to it: you on the sideline weren't threatened.
Same way, if you saw smile, and expressions of love, from the sideline you could, perhaps see, that it was bogus, a manipulation of emotions.
You could see stuff from the sideline that you could not see when you were in the picture. Why? Because threat, and such distorts your view when you look from your own body... instead of sideways.
Changing the Context
I have shared with you the tennis ball demonstration and the clumsy Ph.D.
Let me illustrate this method in a different way:
When you are in the thick of an issue, and you can't see your way out of it, or you cannot decide... etc. because you are too close to the issue, and it is too personal.
If you make any move, you may get hurt, get things wrong, hurt another person.
What works, always, is to ask the question: "If this were someone else's issue, what would I suggest that they do?"
It helps to imagine a real person with the same problem. I often use my little brother as the imaginary person, because I have advised him before and he listened... Family members are not prone to listen, lol.
The moment you take yourself out of the current situation by asking that question, you alter the context of the issue.
It was a survival issue before. Now, suddenly, it becomes someone else's issue, and you are always more intelligent when it is someone else's issue.
Just look at chess tables in parks. The people surrounding the table watching, are always brilliant, at least they feel that way. The moment they are at the table playing, all the decision become a question of life or death.
Another method you can add to the above is asking questions that when you are in the middle of stuff you don't think to ask.
Digging questions... digging for reality.
For example, in a conversation yesterday, I found that the person I was talking to had no skills, no time, no ambition to DO what they decided to do, they just wanted the results.
The questions that lead to this conclusion were:
Do you know how to do it?
Do you have time to do it?
Would you enjoy doing it?
All three answers were a no.
Questions, in addition to digging for reality, also serve another purpose: move the fixed glance with which you look at things. It makes the eyes move, so you are not stuck.
As you look at different aspects of what's in front of you, you release the emotional fixation, and can become more intelligent.
When I run into a technical problem on my sites, I always stand up and do something else, or move to something else. When I return to the original problem, I always find that I misread the instructions, misread the error message, misunderstood something, or didn't see something. Fixed glance... it is as common as a problem, we all need to deal with it, effectively.
Almost any question that makes your eyes move will work. All stuckness is in the eyes... so just by moving the eyes, and actually looking at something else, directing your attention to something else, or looking at the background instead, you can unstuck yourself.
Changing your cone of vision
Cone of vision is a number: the degree of an imaginary cone (funnel) that corresponds to how much of what's in front of you shows up sharp in your view.
When you are afraid, your cone of vision gets automatically narrower.
When you make something wrong: your cone of vision gets narrower.
When you have a problem, your cone of vision gets narrower.
When you feel good, when you feel free, you feel free to look at the world with a wide cone of vision.
It takes practice to flash out your cone of vision. All the electronics we use have been training us to not do that. So I practice, several times a day. I always experience a drop in the tension: suddenly even my body, the emotions, the work I do, even my apartment start to feel like just a little part of the big universe: no big deal.
When that "no big deal" is achieved, you are about twice as intelligent as before...
The energy that is the most effective in this arena is the Avatar State energy: it doesn't allow you to be fixated in the puny concerns that give you your life experience.
The Harmonizer is brilliant at it. When the going gets tough, financially, business-wise, computer errors, I always turn that audio on to help me unstuck from my misery... lol
I don't even have to hear it: it is not the sound but the energy embedded in the sound that is doing it.
Warning: don't listen to the recording closely: it will scramble your brain. Just play it in the background.