When you are not growing, you are dying…

… and unless you feel you are growing, you are not happy… The most powerful mood-remedy is growth.

Yesterday I lead my evergreen workshop, What’s the Truth About you.

It was exhausting for me. I got a lot of thank yous.

Here is a little story about truth:

According to a 19th century legend, the Truth and the Lie meet one day. The Lie says to the Truth:

It’s a marvelous day today! The Truth looks up to the skies and sighs, for the day was really beautiful. They spend a lot of time together, ultimately arriving beside a well.

The Lie tells the Truth: The water is very nice, let’s take a bath together! The Truth, once again suspicious, tests the water and discovers that it indeed is very nice. They undress and start bathing. Suddenly, the Lie comes out of the water, puts on the clothes of the Truth and runs away.

The furious Truth comes out of the well and runs everywhere to find the Lie and to get her clothes back. The World, seeing the Truth naked, turns its gaze away, with contempt and rage.

The poor Truth returns to the well and disappears forever, hiding therein its shame. Since then, the Lie travels around the world, dressed as the Truth, satisfying the needs of society, because the World, in any case, harbors no wish at all to meet the naked Truth.

So this is our collective relationship to truth. The truth is shameful, and it is not to look at.

But if you ever want to turn your life around, if you ever want to return to growth, looking at the truth is a must.

Why? Because you can only grow when you stand on firm ground. I call it ‘hitting bottom’, but it can be anywhere where you tell the truth.

The only way to get to firm ground is to tell the ugly truth about yourself and about your stuff.

Now you know why I was so tired after the workshop. I was, for three hours, fighting your instincts to keep hiding the truth. THAT made me tired.

Between you and me, chances that a 3-hour long intervention will be enough for you to start turning your life around is doubtful. Even though I am sure about the turnaround of one person, and am hopeful about a second… and very doubtful about the rest.

Why wouldn’t you take advantage of the opportunity to become a growth person, to avoid the future you are moving towards?

In one of the steps in the workshop we look at what you are doing and who you are being in an area of life that you want to get better with… communication, organization, relationships, making money…

So we are looking at you doing what you do, with the attitude, the mindset, the WHO aspect of what you are doing.

Now, let me say just a little bit about the who aspect…

At any moment during the day, during the night, you are either motivated by desire to receive for the self alone, or motivated by desire to receive for the sake of sharing.

Desire to receive for the self alone is the Dark Side.

Our precious ‘I’, the ego, our Dark Side pretends that everything we do is high minded, generous, nice, blah blah blah.

But the truth is that nearly everything you do or NOT DO is motivated by the desire to receive for the self alone… at the evolutionary stage of homo sapiens.

  • You procrastinate because there is something in it for you, but just for you.
  • You pretend to like someone, to help someone, to befriend someone, but you do it because you want something from them, for yourself alone.
  • You try to make your child behave… but not for their sake, but for your sake alone.

This is the normal. This is why humanity is unhappy. Because you cannot grow when you operate out of the desire to receive for the self alone. Your spirit isn’t flying, your soul is suffering… and your soul makes sure you suffer too.

Your soul is suffering… and your soul makes sure you suffer too.

Pretending to desire to receive for the sake of sharing will fool millions of people, but not your soul.’Let’s make America great again!’ is a slogan that the soul hears as a lie, but millions hear as a promise, generosity. It covers up your desire to receive for the self alone… the Dark Side.

In a world where you are oblivious to the truth, my work is even harder today than it was 9 years ago.

The average vibration of humanity has fallen from 150 to 100 in these past nine years. And with it misery, inner misery, the misery of the soul has increased proportionately.

The moves Desire to receive for the self alone makes are invisible to you…

The type of moves ‘desire to receive for the self alone’ will make in you is quite predictable by your soul correction. The ugliness is what you share with people of the same soul correction.

But for you to be willing to see it, so you can hit bottom is the hardest thing I’ve ever tried.

To make it easier, I ask you to look where your life would be in 5-10 years if you continued doing what you are doing, being the way you are being now.

The moves of the desire to receive for the self alone lead to sickness, being abandoned by others, being duped/robbed by others, poverty, and suffering.

Depending on your soul correction, depending on how delusional your soul correction is, depending on the distance between the precious ‘I’ and who you are really are, you will see that that future is forthcoming… or you won’t.

The more willing you are to see, the more willing you are to hit bottom and the more eagerly embrace the need to change your beingess.

Instead of being stingy… needy… impulsive… arrogant… withholding yourself/stingy… we try to invent a new way of being. A new way that doesn’t fix the current beingness, it’s not a change. It is designed to unstuck you from being locked into one single way of being, the desire to receive for the self alone.

The more you are willing to see the future where your current actions lead… the more you are willing to change your ways.

That workshop is like an intervention… an effective tool to make an addict want to get out of the destructive behavior, drinking, drugging, they are in. Showing them where their actions are leading, showing them how they effect the people they claim they love.

When the intervention is very public, like a reality TV show, the effectiveness is 70%. Why? because looking good, avoiding looking bad supports the intervention’s purpose. Looking good/avoiding looking bad is a desire to receive for the self alone, and yet it helps you become a better person… in this case.

In my workshop you are not that public, so the results are a whole lot less. When I muscle test, i.e. I ask Source, it says 10%.

Why so low?

Because of the adage: better the devil you know.

In my experience with myself, with students, with clients, carrot, the promise of a better future doesn’t make people move. On the other hand the threat of a future that is bad, the vision of our own future misery often does.

And then there are the people who you cannot move with anything…

I keep those people around because I don’t want to live in delusion… I love reality, I love the truth… That is the only place to come from to produce results.

Every action you take produces one of three results:

1. It makes you grow: constructive action
2. It makes you shrink: destructive action
3. It allows you to coast, to stay the same

I ask the question: ‘does this action make me grow?’ about 10 times a day, especially when I suspect that I am either coasting or going backwards.

Talking, emoting, overworking myself, eating, fantasizing, exercising, writing articles, checking my money, buying stuff… Hundreds of things I do any given day.

Let’s look at you and your actions?

Conversations. You could be complaining, gossiping, blaming, arguing, chatting, complimenting, yelling, talking and talking and talking.

Walking the dog, feeding the cat, worrying about them.

Shopping. Cooking. Rearranging the furniture.

Worrying about your daughter who doesn’t do her homework… worrying about your best friend, about yourself.

Checking Facebook. Checking the news. Checking the weather.

The CONTEXT of the above inquiry is: are you growing? are you coasting? are you shrinking?

You could look at your actions in many different contexts, for example ‘Is this about me?’ or ‘Am I doing what I am doing from a place that is familiar, that I already know?’ or ‘Am I tolerating what I do, and I do it in order to get something, or am I loving what I do?’ ‘Is this action coming from the desire to receive for the self alone?’

I have been in serious inquiry about what could make a difference in altering the course of human devolution… I am starting to get clear about how it happened, and how it is maintained by the Powers That Be.

Until I am crystal clear, I am very hesitant to write down what I have found. But the inquiry is going well… every conversation reveals a little more of the pieces of the puzzle… It is a puzzle that no one has solved yet, and it’s been plaguing humanity for about six thousand years… when humans stopped evolving… and haven’t reached Human Being… aka Man…

Until the exact mechanism that takes humans off the path is clear to me, I cannot reverse the process that started 5-6 thousand years ago and has been maintained by the Dark Side of humanity ever since.

To be moved by desire to receive for the self alone is a new distinction to most people. It is hard to see… and even when you manage to see it in one area, it doesn’t live like a distinction, it lives like an example… and incident, something that slipped in by accident.

To move to the higher level of vibration, an existence that is more in line with Life and the purpose of creation, you need to learn to see a distinction as a distinction.

According to muscle test, every single human is capable to see distinction. Every single human has a built in faculty called ‘reticular activator’ that allows them to see what they distinguish everywhere.

Except that the Ego doesn’t like it. So it blocks the reticular activator. not just with distinctions, but with everything. 99% of humans cannot see that the skills they acquire in one area are usable skills everywhere.

I just had a long conversation about this, and I recorded the call.

If you’d like to buy this call, 90 minutes long, please go to. Select the first option for one call, or subscribe to the calls if you wish


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Author: Sophie Benshitta Maven

True empath, award winning architect, magazine publisher, transformational and spiritual coach and teacher, self declared Avatar

2 thoughts on “When you are not growing, you are dying…”

  1. When I’m “on”, I’m pumped, enthusiastic. I feel growth. I feel excitement in participating, reading articles, making connections.

    Feeling great keeps my wheels spinning.

    When I lose the “walking on sunshine” feeling of growth, I experience withdrawal. Fear takes over. The feeling of failure is overwhelming. My mind dominates and hijacks my body. I completely shut down.

    I’m stuck in this “I failed mode”. I redirect my attention to focus on other things to feed my mind. I begin looking for apps to download, write long ranting emails to coworkers, sit in the dark with TV on while read articles online (that appeal to what I already know).

    This is a common pattern that emerges over and over in my life. Usually I run for the hills and never return. I constantly think about the articles, the coaching sessions, and Sophie.

    Just because I fail or shrink from time to time, the truth (especially in this process with Sophie) the notion that growth is still possible has struck a chord in me.

    Nothing is static.

    So, when I’m not doing the activities that facilitate growth, I’m shrinking for the moment (until I begin to grow again). It’s a process worth embracing when growth is awaiting. (context: growing)

  2. Great comment, I wish I have said it…

    I remember when I was a serial course junky: I was afraid to take my eyes of the course, because I was afraid that I would stop growing… But growing always means a cycle: intense effort, let-down, consolidation, gather strength, go for it again…

    Expecting things to stay or feel the same is silly, childish, and I lived in that most of my life. I am now able to see my “down” time with different eyes.

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