Here is the idiotic sounding sentence: “For you Everything is the same as everything else … except not always” Let’s begin… Ok, Sophie, but how do I start to see that everything is not the same as everything else?
The value in the koan is when you can actually catch that you misjudged something. If and when you even just catch (yourself!) something that you were wrong about, you have just stepped on the path to become a person with eyes to see and ears to hear.
Until that your eyes don’t see and your ears don’t see anything new, anything different than what you have already seen.
So you walk around in your world, and nothing changes. You stay the same, people stay the same, things stay the same… except for some exceptions, like a fluke in the system.
You know someone is a nasty person, and then, out of the blue, they are nice or kind to you. WTF? So you write it off as a fluke, and don’t change your mind. Many of my students don’t come to calls because of this phenomenon: they have already made up their mind.
- Can you grow in this state? No, you can’t.
- Can you move from A to Be in this state? No, you can’t.
- Can you make more money in this state? No, you can’t.
- Can you find a life partner in this state? No, you can’t.
- Can your children change and become great people, listen to you, do well in life? Not a chance, as far as you are concerned.
- Can your headache, stomach ache, or whatever you have get better? No way.
- Can your fear subside? No chance.
- Can you become someone you would like to become? No.
Before any of the things that you claim you want, you need to catch your mind filtering out 99% of reality, replacing it with what you already decided.
I remember a seminar I took some 3 years ago: the homework was to interact with our significant other as if they were a mystery. Hardest thing I’d ever done… but I managed to squeeze out a few moments, a few glimpses of how I was dating my judgment instead of a human, a person, and my life altered forever.
I got that I was indeed interacting with my picture, instead of what was there. Horrible experience, if you ask me, because all my life I was afraid that I was stupid, and here was proof positive: I was stupid.
Nothing was the way it seemed to me.
So, what did I do once I found this out?
I became a tireless discoverer of reality. And as long as I was willing to be that, the tiny glimpses of reality were enough to take me to a brand new path, a new profession, a whole new set of passions, a business I could be successful at, new friends, new talents, new environment, and ultimately the business I am in now, that fits me like a glove.
Do I still have to remember to be a discoverer? You betcha! No matter what level of consciousness you are at, the Mind is still the gatekeeper, and you need to be able to go around it to get glimpses of reality.
Can you get more than glimpses? No, you can’t. But glimpses are enough, if you get enough of them.
This is one of the things we practice in the coaching calls… by the way.