It seems that what they do is so intolerable for me, that I can barely contain myself. The desire to just smack them is so strong, I have to physically restrain myself.
What they do that I can’t tolerate?
Their deflection has several forms: Denial-Deflection-Discredit.
- one says: “touché” whenever I call her on her “s-h-i-t”
- another one listens to what I am saying, but he smirks, so I know that he is only humoring me.
- the third says, every time I ask if she got what I am saying: “I am listening”
- the fourth listens, maybe even says, aha, aha, lulling me into the illusion that I make a difference, and then with some harsh, attacking sounding sentences destroys the illusion and leaves me in ruins, while they bought another day of being sub-standard, cowardly, and miserable, but with a glee of having been able to escape my teaching.
- the fifth says no to everything I say… automatic no.
A magician succeeds when the attention of the audience is diverted from his main activity onto some distraction…
What is deflection?
It is a “no”, “not me”, or “not true” that makes what was said array… dispersed into the universe.
Reflection, as in echo, allows you to hear that what you said is heard. Deflection pushes what you said away from the intended recipient.
You can deflect criticism, you can deflect requests, you can deflect love or acknowledgement. Whichever you do: you de-value the person and the communication. It says: unless you say it, it has no value. Unless it is you: it has no value.
It leaves the speaker deflated, de-valued, rejected, and the person who is doing the deflation unchanged, continuing on their trajectory: in human terms: Dark Side.
There are several Soul Corrections, like “Revealing the Dark Side“, or such, where the job is to tell the truth about the Dark Side tendencies, the Dark Side motives, so you can take responsibility for them.
Deflection and Soul Correction
Each Soul Correction is a correction of a Dark Side tendency, by the way. Fear that keeps you small sounds innocent, but when you are not in line with the Light, you are serving the Dark Side.
“Finish what you start” is one of the nastiest Dark Side corrections: You cover up your utter unwillingness to be in the Light, to be FOR the Light by lying about what you can or will do… leading people on, showing “nice-nice” to them, only to let them down.
Happiness is a function of accepting what is, and accepting what isn’t, without resistance. Being able to say: there is nothing wrong here… this is just what is. It doesn’t mean it has to stay this way, it doesn’t mean anything.
Deflection leads to complete and deep unhappiness: being completely cut off from the source of happiness: acceptance.
The most important things to accept are the dark things about you… once you can allow those, once you give yourself permission to be the way you are, you’ll be able to allow another to contribute to you, without deflecting the truth, and start growing.
Until you do that, no growth is possible, no matter how smug you are in your superiority: you are the dunce 1 of the Universe. While you dupe yourself into believing that you are smart, clever, you are really really stupid, left behind, fodder. 2
What is your soul correction? It is your soul’s purpose this lifetime… avoid it, deflect it, and you are cheating your soul.
noun: dunce; plural noun: dunces
a person who is slow at learning; a stupid person.
synonyms: fool, idiot, stupid person, simpleton, ignoramus, dullard;
informal: dummy, dumbo, thickhead, nitwit, dimwit, halfwit, moron, cretin, imbecile, lamer, dope, boob, chump, hoser, numbskull, numbnuts, nincompoop, mouth-breather, fathead, airhead, butthead, birdbrain, scissorbill, peabrain, ninny, ass, doofus, goof, meatball, schmuck, bozo, lummox, knuckle-dragger
“he was a bit of a dunce, but most people got along with him”
food, especially dried hay or feed, for cattle and other livestock.
a person or thing regarded only as material for a specific use.
“young people ending up as factory fodder”
verb: fodder; 3rd person present: fodders; past tense: foddered; past participle: foddered; gerund or present participle: foddering