From small, miserable, fearful, hiding, to expansive, magnificent… can you do it?


The size of your paradigm, the size of your puny world… and what can you do about it?

You were born with a paradigm of 1,000. You were born innocent, knowing nothing, therefore knowing everything.

The tales of karma, the tales of past lives is not true, not really, maybe not at all.

You were born with no past and no future… Maybe some past starting from 4 month old in utero…

Then the world starts to “educate you” about what you can, what you can’t, what’s true and what’s false, and that is, for a while, passing on their paradigm. The intention is to keep you safe, not to imprison you, but ultimately that is the result they achieve.

Then you get to the ripe old age of 3 years old, and if you are typical, you start pretending that you already know everything there is to know, because you have already learned that the people who are big, seem to you to know everything… and they seem to you to do better than you.

The Second defining moment came…

The second defining moment can come at any time, earlier or later. Depending on when it came, the effect is more or less devastating: devastating the possibility of living in a bigger paradigm than the people around you.

The earlier the defining moment comes, the better, surprisingly…

The defining moment is an “event”… which is often a non-event, no big deal, nothing significant outwardly, except it, eventually defines the size of your paradigm.

That is your starting point, that and the “I already know everything there is to know.”

Starting point to grow your paradigm from.

Most people I have ever dealt with, coaching them, or otherwise, never do more than some token actions to grow their paradigm.

The story of the defining moment becoming truth through telling and retelling is the problem.

The story of the defining moment is told through the experience of an upset baby, toddler, or little kid. Their eye level, their knowledge of life, their dependence on love for survival skewing their view. Seriously skewing their view.

The story is not true. It may have a grain of truth, but the meaning of it is what is a lie. Unintentional, but a lie nevertheless.

It was L. Ron Hubbard who first introduced the value of going back to the defining incident and revisiting it over and over and over until it is seen, not through the eyes of an upset kid, but through the eyes of an adult, committed to break free of the prison of that incident.

His technique is Dianetics, and it was ripped of, incompletely, clumsily, ineffectively, by Werner Erhard, who used to be a Scientology student.

What Werner didn’t do is understand the spending a lot of time with the incident… Or maybe he understood, but his model of company didn’t include the days it takes. 1

Dianetics/Scientology’s method (I only know it by hearsay, so I may be off on this, a little bit) is to send out auditors for five grand a pop, who spend a week with the person who wants to break free.

An auditor is a trained person who is trained to take you through the incident, over and over again, until you are clear.

Clear is actually the name of a person who went through an audit, as the process is called.

37372-fearI got lucky, I didn’t have to do or participate with Scientology, a cult, to get an “audit”. I had a client of mine who was willing to do it, back in 1996. He spent six-seven hours taking me through. By that time I was very experienced in telling the truth, fast, and I was very willing to change my mind. I got clear, and I was beginning to grow my paradigm.

My experience with students and clients is that most don’t want to re-experience the defining moment. Or they are trying to protect it, because it is a defining moment: you become who you consider yourself to be, and it is frightening to be without that.

This is a quote from Michael Connelly’s book the Black Echo: “He thought of the rage Eleanor must have felt because of her brother. The helplessness. He thought of his own rage. He knew the same feelings, maybe not to the same degree but from a different perspective. Anybody who was touched by the war knew some part of those feelings. He had never worked it out completely and wasn’t sure he wanted to. The anger and sadness gave him something that was better than complete emptiness. Is that what Meadows felt? He wondered. The emptiness. Is that what bounced him from job to job and needle to needle until he was finally and fatally used up on this last mission?”

paradigmRead it and read it again… that sadness and rage that people, you, hold onto so you don’t have to experience complete emptiness is what keeps you from enlarging your paradigm.

The complete emptiness is a space where you can return to innocence and start with a clean, or almost clean slate.

But to let go of what defines you is terrifying, and most of you, in fact 99.99% of you, even if you have volunteered to join my experimental class, even if you are client or student of mine, 99.99% of you will not be willing to let go: in fact I haven’t known many people who have been, because of that fear of emptiness.

In Werner Erhard and associates, the leaders are called Forum Leader Candidates. Before they become that they used to have to go through an emptying process, that sometimes took as long as a week. Most didn’t make the cut. And the number of leaders has stayed, over 40 years, around 40-50… it is as rare as that to be willing to get empty.

This is why most of humanity’s vibration is so low, this is why most people whose vibration I measure are below 200… a puny little paradigm.

the-size-of-your-worldBut, luckily, it is possible to raise your vibration and raise your paradigm, by doing the emptying process to near-empty, but often.

I do it weekly, and it works for me. Sometimes, though, I wish it were more frequently, like twice a week.

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  1. Werner Erhard and Associates has morphed into Landmark Education Corporation in the past 20 or so years. I participated with both companies, until I realized that what I have to offer is beyond and way better than that company offers, although I am a one-woman band…

Author: Sophie Benshitta Maven

True empath, award winning architect, magazine publisher, transformational and spiritual coach and teacher, self declared Avatar

2 thoughts on “From small, miserable, fearful, hiding, to expansive, magnificent… can you do it?”

  1. I’m probably not the first person to tell you, but you are a total jerk. When you no longer have to criticize others who’ve been doing what you claim to be able to do, for longer than you, you may become believable. Right now, you come off as just another fruitcake, bashing others for your own advantage. Good luck! You’ll need it.

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