You say you care… but you have an agenda instead, raining on people’s parade

misery--loves--companyWhen I work with people on coaching calls, I always find out that they have no details about people and happenings around them, even if they were part of the happening.

Why? Because they weren’t present.

When you talk to someone, you want to be present to the conversation, to your hunches, to your feelings, to the tone of voice, the breathing, the mannerisms of the other person. Like a camera.

Then, when you are on your own, you can ponder about what that means.

Being present, being able to command your attention at will is very important.

If you are in your head while with people, you miss life. You miss what can clue you in about what’s going on. Whether you are doing well or not. Whether your people need help, or if you should ease up on them.

You are in your head, you are in your agenda, and you miss the boat.

misery-loves-companyYou want to be a good mother by that agenda, not by watching how your “mothering” effects your children. Smothering is a better word.

Your son turns out a sissy, your daughter turns out a bitch. You are surprised, but you wouldn’t be if you were present with them.

You come to my calls and you are not present. Wasting my time, and yours.

You don’t know your ass from a hole in the ground.

There is a time to think, and there is a time to be present. There is a time to gather information in the field, from the response of the world… real information.

The size of your paradigm, the size of your world, and therefore your vibration is proportionate to how present you are to what you are doing, to the stuff you pick up.

If you spend time in your head instead of being present, you never grow your world, you’ll never become someone you would want to spend time with.

The weirdest thing is this: If someone asked you if you wanted everyone in the world to be like you, you’d protest. But then you proceed making everyone like you around you, your children, your “friends” and then you are surprised that you are alone, unsupported, unloved, because now they are just like you. Unsupportive, unloving, uncaring.

Your efforts to change and fix people, to criticize, to judge are your unconscious effort to drag people down to your level.

Misery loves company. You pretend that it is in their best interest, you do what you do because you care, but you are flat out lying through your teeth.

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Author: Sophie Benshitta Maven

True empath, award winning architect, magazine publisher, transformational and spiritual coach and teacher, self declared Avatar

2 thoughts on “You say you care… but you have an agenda instead, raining on people’s parade”

  1. Sophie, after our conversation I’ve been looking and pondering about humility last night and today. I’ve been looking in the areas of my life where I can show humility. I’ve been watching my body how it reacts when I think of certain incidents whenever I was arrogant and I would let it go. I admit to my children every day that I don’t know everything and that I am stupid and that is why I don’t stop learning and creating new things. I also tell every client I meet that I don’t have all the answer and I am still learning and I encourage them to experiment and learn new things. I try to be honest and true with them. I am not afraid to tell them that I am not perfect. I thought that was part of humility. My clients and people I know tell me that they feel themselves around me because I don’t judge them for who they are or what they do so they keep coming back to me. I don’t try to push my agenda on them but let them be who they are. No I haven’t always been like that only in a resent year. I’ll keep observing and watching myself and my arrogance… Thank you so much for your coaching.

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