Conversations, intimacy, human connection: are you emotionally unavailable? Emotionally slutty?

65490-55932“Yesterday I was clever and tried to change the world. Today I am wise and try to change myself.” ~ Rumi

I offer private healing sessions to supplement my income. It is mainly a massage, a conversation, and sharing some of my observations for change.

I only see older people, mainly men. I don't like to work with women in this capacity. I don't enjoy their energy.

In my screening email exchange I look for two things:

  1. that their vibration is above a certain point, 170 seems to be the minimum, but sometimes I take an exception if a 150 feels right to me.

    I spend minutes connected to them, living in their shoes in their vibration, and if I find it miserable, or victim-like, I won't see them. I find a way to tell them I won't see them. I lie.

  2. The second criteria I have is that they can carry a conversation, that they are open enough and straight enough for the session to be enjoyable to me. Unless the person is emotionally approachable, available, unless they can connect, they leave me high and dry, and I hate that.
  3. emotionally-sluttyThe third criteria: emotionally slutty people, who reveal too much too soon... gush, complain, needy, trying to impress. Emotionally slutty people are just a version of emotionally unavailable people... I stay away from them. And when I make a mistake, I regret it for a long time

I use these sessions to test some of my ideas, to test if some of the things I teach can reach the general public and hold their interest.

I even discuss some of my difficulties: if I picked the client right, they love the conversation and they love me.

And from time to time, once a year or so, I make a mistake and pick someone who is neither straight, nor is interested in what I have to say.

I hate those sessions, and they leave me with a bad taste in my mouth for a long time.

I had one of those sessions this past Saturday.

Why am I sharing this? Because among the readers of this site there are a lot of those I would never see: they are secretive and self-protecting. Some of them even sign up to my coaching programs, and never come to any of the sessions.

To be able to change your views about life, about people, about yourself, you need to be open, and you need to be guidable, need to be interested in what there is to be interested in. Just like those clients on my massage table.

stop-emotional-wreck-quote_compressed-300x300If you keep on saying the same things in your head, if you keep on having the same conversations, if you keep on protecting the puny self, then your chances of ever becoming happy, fulfilled, and an expanding human being, are nil, none, zilch, zero.

My brothers are like that: my little brother worked for me for some time, years in fact. We spoke at least once a week ever since there were online chat programs, that is about 20 years.

Last week was the first time I heard a person there, someone with genuine concerns, someone with genuine thoughts. He is 61, so maybe one needs to get older and closer to the end to drop the pretenses?

You need to be able to connect to other humans on an intimate level to feel well, to allow Life to express itself through you. Body to body is not intimate enough.

When you are closed, you are suppressing, you are hiding, you are rotting inside. You are bad company...

And then there are the ones that are empty and numb. They have nothing to say. Most of them are alcoholics, or on some other drug. They are in a prison of their own making, there is no way you can connect to them.

In the upcoming Playground program people who are committed to staying closed, or people who continue numbing themselves, won't be able to participate, because that program is as intimate as any program has ever been, or ever will be.

In recounting the facts that shaped who you are in the present, and the ideas the define your future, you can't be self protecting, you can't worry about being liked or not liked, because the program won't work for you that way.

self-protectingPeople will be there to reshape their world, and that is the only commitment that will allow everyone to say what they need to say so the future can be different.

I know I am fishing in a pond with scarcely any fish... I will cast my net wider in the future...

Author: Sophie Benshitta Maven

award winning architect, magazine publisher, transformational and spiritual coach and teacher, self declared Avatar

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