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The life of a pinball… or Your expectations and your disappointments

Your expectations and your disappointments reveal to you and to everyone who knows anything about the unconscious world view that makes sure you are miserable.

You learned that the Universe, Reality, your body, other people are like a vending machine. Push a button and outcomes what you wanted.

Or a car, or an electric mixer. Mechanistic, there for your service.

Even the evil people, religion, law of attraction, manifestation people teach that... with one little twist: if you are good, then the machine will turn on and spit out what you wanted.

So these people with their little twist make it your own fault if and when it doesn't work.

But what you think about the world and the way the world works are very different.

And you go from expectation to disappointment, anger, dismay, disgust... according to your temperament. Continue reading "The life of a pinball… or Your expectations and your disappointments"

Make your plane go where you want it to go…

Make your plane go where you want it to go...

This is probably the most shocking sentence in the whole 67 step program.

I literally don't know anyone who lives that way.

People try to succeed, try a diet, try this and try that... while their plane crashes in every area.

So what is the difference between who are like that, who are on their way to become that kind of person, and others who never ever land their plane on the landing strip? Continue reading "Make your plane go where you want it to go…"

Everything you ever wanted is available to you, if…

Everything you ever wanted is available to you, if...

... if you are willing to look and see what is so about you and your life.

The truth. Naked. Ugly. Often shameful.

Here is a correspondence I had with a client today:

She said: "I'm interested in changing my context since it's part of what keeps me stuck."

"... answering the questions: what am I doing? Why am I doing it?

Unless you have done the work of identifying what you have been doing, and why you have been doing it, no way you can shift the context. You cannot catch what you can't see. And you cannot change what you can't catch." Continue reading "Everything you ever wanted is available to you, if…"

Reframing: What is your higher power?

Frame: Your higher power? 1

Back in 1988 I had an emotional meltdown. I suddenly remembered things from my childhood.

I was suggested by someone in Landmark that it would be beneficial for me to join an ACOA group. Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families.

I did. I had clear signals that I belonged. #1 of the identifying features of ACOA people is "I don't know who I am". 2

Anyway, an ACOA group is not a fun place. Continue reading "Reframing: What is your higher power?"

Reframing: State change: Changing your emotional state

Frame: state change. Causing yourself or another to change their emotional state, aka attitude.

The myth of "IS"

One of the invisible tools the memes use, the memes that keep us trapped and unable to take control of our lives is to spew "is" on us.

OK, that was a long sentence. let me see if I can reword it. The memes freeze us into a life where we have no power. It is in the wording. The freezing power comes from the wording.

We have spoken about the having to, needing to, wanting to, and should... these are a group of tools the memes use to rob us of our own power, and render us puppets.

The tool that renders us powerless to change is the improper use of "is".

  • Whenever you feel you need to change, this meme tool is at work.
  • Whenever you point a blaming finger at yourself, at the world, or at others, this meme tool is at work.
  • It is under learned helplessness. It is under resignation, cynicism, and unless you learn to recognize it, you'll fight it... like Don Quixote was fighting the windmills. No chance to win.

Continue reading "Reframing: State change: Changing your emotional state"

What is the right attitude when being coached or being taught by a teacher?

... and by "right" attitude I mean the attitude that gets you what you wanted from life... 3

A assume that we are all afraid of being mislead, misguided, lied to. The fear is well-founded: most people don't know what they are talking about, most people are wrong, and some even lie so they can make money off you.

So what? I say... OK, don't run just yet. Continue reading "What is the right attitude when being coached or being taught by a teacher?"

The answer is not within, the truth is not within… and it is not without either

One of the most important things one can learn from the 67 steps is this: the truth is not within. It takes a sea of knowledge to even start to make out the outlines of the truth... And that knowledge needs to be learned... We live in a world of uneducated, ignorant fools... almost no one is an exception.

That doesn't mean the truth is without either. Continue reading "The answer is not within, the truth is not within… and it is not without either"

Want to learn how to live a frustration free life?

In this article, with your permission, I'll teach you a little bit of real thinking. How to think. A thinking move. So you can get more aware, and have a lot better life, a lot better results in life than without having some ability to think... or specifically this ability I'll teach.

OK, the topic we'll dig deep on is frustration.

But before I go on, let me share something that happened to me when I was around 29.

I had a new boy friend, 13 years older than me, very accomplished in life, and like all Virgos, willing to look, willing to teach, willing to engage.

I was an architect already, by the way. Continue reading "Want to learn how to live a frustration free life?"

Intellectually slothful

Intellectually slothful

We, humans, talks a lot about IQ. And genes. And intelligent and not intelligent.

I assert that we don't know what we are talking about. Your IQ has little to do with the quality of your life.

We don't discern cause and effect... and this is only just one area where we don't. 1

OK, so back to intellectually slothful... I expect to lose 99% of you here... Continue reading "Intellectually slothful"

A telltale sign that you are self-referential. Is that the main cause of your misery?


"Admire as much as you can. Most people do not admire enough."
- Vincent van Gogh

Admiring people who are worthy of our admiration doesn't cost us anything. Same with admiring animals and plants and natural phenomena: no pain involved. Same with admiring great accomplishments by our fellow humans: no agony or agitation required.

I have said it before: being able to admire, to being in awe is one of the most uplifting and purifying experience. Now you know who you are, in relation to that which you admire, and you know where you are going.

The above is a quote from Rob Brezsny's newsletter. Of course Rob Brezsny is a "wearing pink color glasses" type of person, who refuses to see shadows. So here are the shadows that get revealed when you attempt to admire someone:
Continue reading "A telltale sign that you are self-referential. Is that the main cause of your misery?"