Why you are not confident… Why you don’t trust yourself… Why you aren’t happy…

self-confidenceI watch, I observe people’s behavior and the emotions that go with it.

Unless I can see what you did, your emotions and much of your behavior don’t make sense.

And occasionally I get the opportunity to see both the actions and the emotions…

  1. The most frequent behavior is you acting without looking.

Promising without looking. Saying/answering a question without looking.

What’s the emotion? Anxiety… afraid of the future… Rightfully

Much like a drunk jumps into an empty pool… expecting it to be full.

You buy something. You are on the payment page. You assume you know what’s there… you are not looking. You don’t even suspect that you are signing up to a monthly program as well… and that you need to “un-tick” the box if you don’t want it.
Continue reading “Why you are not confident… Why you don’t trust yourself… Why you aren’t happy…”

I am an insomniac in danger of getting dementia as a result

I am an insomniac. I was born this way.

My father was also an insomniac.

Occasionally I find ways to get more restful sleep and the longest streak of a sleep solution lasts for a few months, and then I have a new longer streak where I don’t sleep well, don’t sleep enough, even though I spend the night in bed, with the light turned off.

This morning, while I was researching something else, my attention was guided to a TED talk… on sleep. This was the second hint this morning to go and watch some videos… on sleep. But I have gotten, this past month, some hints every day… so it is time. Not my favorite topic. Continue reading “I am an insomniac in danger of getting dementia as a result”

Emotional Intelligence: learning what feelings are, what feelings do will help you live life as a human, instead of a puppet

Yesterday I was on the phone with a client.

Her soul correction is Fear/Fearless. In the conversation it was becoming obvious that she had read “Feelings” the book I have been so excited about. So the conversation was on a more even footing that most of my conversations: she has been paying attention and recognizing at least some of the dynamics the feelings have, and has been managing her fear quite well.

Buy the book “Feelings” Show proof of purchase for a pdf… you’ll need it. It’s hard to see the illustration on Kindle…

You have always wanted to get out of your head. You tried meditation, drugs, to no avail. Because the way out of the head is through the feelings… the body, where you feel the feelings. Your control center. Overriding the mind nearly 100% of the time.

Continue reading “Emotional Intelligence: learning what feelings are, what feelings do will help you live life as a human, instead of a puppet”

Process-conscious vs result-conscious… fulfillment every day vs one day someday

I have a brain that is a pattern seeking machine.

A pattern is when something is repeating, form, essence, pitch, sequence, day of the week, month of the year, etc… something that connects seemingly unconnected things together.

Seeing patterns can save lives, and animals living in the wild still have the capacity, but humans living in a comfortable world, have lost it… to their detriment.

Often the activity is called: connecting the dots… Even if Steve Jobs says: it is only possible to connect the dots backwards. He talks about different dots… he talks about the cause and effect type of dots, not the patterns. Continue reading “Process-conscious vs result-conscious… fulfillment every day vs one day someday”

Telling the truth will set you free. The counter-intuitive path to happiness

Most people won’t adhere to a diet that would make them healthy.

Stupidity? Yes, stupidity on a very deep selfish gene level. 1

It’s NOT that they don’t understand the price they are paying.

It’s that they make choices that the genes are making: not making waves, not bringing attention to themselves, not being different, fitting in is more important than being healthy, having energy, feeling good, calm, being intelligent.

Almost everything “social” is gene directed. I say “almost” because I am humble. I don’t know any social that is NOT gene directed, but there could be, maybe.

So what do the selfish genes want?

Continue reading “Telling the truth will set you free. The counter-intuitive path to happiness”

Abundance Or Scarcity? Choose… Updated

water doesn't exist for the fishThis article is from 2014…

Often anything can kick you into the horizontal plane 1 . I got kicked into it… the horizontal plane, and now I am working my way off… it is not that easy. I can’t even connect to muscle test… the horizontal plane is sticky. It wants you, all of you. It eats your life for breakfast.

Let me explain: Humanity (you!) lives on the horizontal plane at this stage of evolution. It is both the starting point and the end state…

On the horizontal plane everything is about comparison. More, better, different…

The good old days…
I want what they have, because I don’t have it… and I want it.
Continue reading “Abundance Or Scarcity? Choose… Updated”

Living Dangerously: The habits that keep you feeling safe, small, bankrupt, and feeling dead UPDATED

detective-with-search-glassI had a one-on-one session with a student yesterday.

Sometimes I notice something “out”… something that doesn’t fit the picture, and just like a good detective, I latch onto it, and watch it, and if I can, I use it to unravel the mystery someone’s life is.

But sometimes it takes a while to really identify what it is that doesn’t fit… it is just a hunch, it is just a feeling… like the faint scent of death for a search dog…

Download the pdf version of this article at the end of the article

Continue reading “Living Dangerously: The habits that keep you feeling safe, small, bankrupt, and feeling dead UPDATED”

Time to reinvent yourself as someone you can love

try-time-to-reinvent-yourselfYou live in a world of your own design… Time to reinvent yourself as someone you can love

Your own design is like a filter you look through. You can’t see the filter, just like you don’t see the window unless you touch it…

A filter is like a pair of glasses…

A filter is also like a pair of glasses… They can be dark tinted, they can be yellow, green… and the world occurs differently with each pair of glasses. You can’t see that it’s the glasses that make the world look the way the world looks to you… unless you can take it off…

You can see only the ripples. The indication that there is something there…

It’s the ripples that we don’t like… we don’t like the things we do, the things we think, the things we feel. We want to change the ripples. But the ripples are the surface of the iceberg… hidden, invisible…

But you can’t change something that you don’t know. You can’t change something that you don’t see.

We all want to reinvent ourselves, our world. Because what we have now is not working too well, not serving us too well. We can’t have what we want, and we suffer.

Download the pdf version of this article at the end of the article
Continue reading “Time to reinvent yourself as someone you can love”

Why you are not, in fact cannot be curious? Are you screwed now?

I have decided to re-read the Feelings book, and this time make it a study, memorize the names of the different needs, take a more earnest approach to learning the “language” of the machine that is need-based.

I am feeling a mix of fear and excitement. where? in my stomach, expanding to my chest.

My plan is to read/study the book is to study it at the beginning of my evening reading session for about 10 minutes, and then switch to my “other” book… whatever book I am reading in the evening at the time… currently it is “Curious” by Ian Leslie.

I am reading Curious for the second time, and this time it is, given the chance, going to change something in me and consequently in how I teach, how i guide, and what I expect YOU to do.

Continue reading “Why you are not, in fact cannot be curious? Are you screwed now?”

Have a mind like a sieve?

It takes more than just insights, or reading, or listening to audios to become a fully equipped person who can live the good life. But what is the fundamental missing piece that so darn few ever benefit from in ANY of the activities they undertake?

With life spent in cars and buildings, our eyes stopped looking and assessing our environments. And with smart phones and computers, our eyes became like stationary search beams, not seeing anything outside of the beam…

But more importantly: out of sight – out of mind: the brain does not connect what you see with anything… nothing is ever written on your brain’s hard drive… only into its RAM… and once you look away, it all disappears…

Continue reading “Have a mind like a sieve?”