I just watched the Oscar nominated documentary, Minding the Gap

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I just watched the documentary, Minding the Gap, It's about three boys who bond over skateboarding, and a shared childhood of abuse.

The documentary is made by one of the three boys, 15 years of their lives you get to witness.

You can't avoid to look at your own life. No escape.

There is so much grief, in everyone, and it is so hard to recover from it. It took me a lifetime... And grief is not just beating, or molestation, it is everything that lands as abuse, not letting you wear what you prefer to wear, not letting you eat what you prefer to eat, not helping you with your homework, belittling every effort you make, forcing you to visit with your father even though you don't want to, complaining to your child about things that a child can't handle, the way to abuse is so many, that there is probably not a child who wasn't abused one way or another.

The Playground has a subtitle: It is never too late to have a happy childhood. Continue reading "I just watched the Oscar nominated documentary, Minding the Gap"

Go beyond where you NORMALLY stop… Go to where the sun shines, no matter what the season is

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I woke up disgruntled... (=angry, dissatisfied) almost ready to go into devastation (which is my "home page") but it all changed as I sat down and began to write. What was going to be a rant, became a celebration.

I guess I am not stuck with, neither am invested in, nor am I resisting being someone who rants when I feel beaten, or slighted, or hurt...Most of my students either are invested (i.e. known for) or resist being angry... i.e. stuck with being angry. Continue reading "Go beyond where you NORMALLY stop… Go to where the sun shines, no matter what the season is"

This is one of those weeks: I am all talked out.

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And I rarely say anything twice. I expressed it once, and I am done with it.

34 years ago I started my journey from misery to The Promised Land... It was promised... and I went for it.

It was the last weekend of August back in 1985.

I snuck away from Jerusalem, where I lived at the time. Took the 2-hour bride to Haifa, took a taxi, and voila, my journey began.

It was a Communication Workshop. In Hebrew. My Hebrew was good enough to do work, but was pretty meager for transformational work, so it wasn't till the last day that I understood a full sentence.

But that didn't prevent me from having a breakthrough. Continue reading "This is one of those weeks: I am all talked out."

Who, what should be your teacher for life?

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Who should be your teachers? What should be your teachers?

And why do you need teachers?

Everyone thinks they should know more, have more. Be right more. Look better more often. Have more liberty, more stuff, less annoying stuff.

But no one teaches you how to let go, how to become free... again.

Let go? Hell yeah.

Most soul corrections, in fact the whole of humanity, with rare exceptions, spend their lifetime compensating for some inane incident that a more intelligent species would have shaken off... no big deal.

But not the Bandar-log, the just out of the monkey evolutionary phase homo sapiens... no, they are not intelligent enough. Even monkeys are more intelligent... don't be offended, I'll explain.

No, homo sapiens finds its excuse for not becoming all they can be, for abusing themselves and others, in their rear view mirrors.

Where they see abuse, slights, no power, injustice, embarrassment, fear, hurt, powerlessness, no acceptance, what have you... and... Continue reading "Who, what should be your teacher for life?"

Self-awareness… is something tainting the water?

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I get my inspiration where I can get it... so this article was inspired by a short article on Medium...

1. Two young fish are swimming in the lake and they pass by an older fish that is swimming the opposite way. The older fish nods at them in greeting, and says, "Morning, boys. How is the water?" The two young fish swim on for a while, then one of them looks over at the other and asks ‘What the hell is water?'

OK, that is one story about water... and self-awareness.

2. The second story comes from a book I haven't read and probably won't. But the question is fascinating:

Why doesn't water taste like anything?

According to psychophysicist Mark Changizi, water tastes like nothing because evolutionarily, its lack of taste made it easier for us to taste anything harmful that might be tainting it. Bacteria from a rotting dead animal upstream could spell death for a human that ingested it, and flavorless water makes it easier for us to taste it.

3. And here is the third story: what I really want to write this article about: Continue reading "Self-awareness… is something tainting the water?"

Overwhelm, survival mode, resignation, what is the connection? And un-managed, how they lead to becoming dead man walking?

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I had an important and eye-opening insight today. A looking back...

Let me tell you the story so you get the fact that the likelihood of me ever discovering this was between none and zero.

It began some 30 years ago when I was a magazine publisher. Every time a magazine was already in the street, I went to my computer and cleaned up the space, I archived everything that was said and done, made room for the new issue. I did the same thing in the office.

I called this time and energy consuming step "cleaning from the root", or alternatively "preparing for a new harvest"...

My life was organized, orderly, I was thin, vibrant, beautiful, and OK.

Then something happened. There is always something that happens before this process begins to really ramp up... but truth be told, it really begins around age 3... hidden for quite a while. Continue reading "Overwhelm, survival mode, resignation, what is the connection? And un-managed, how they lead to becoming dead man walking?"

Do you know what you are doing? Debunking the myth of knowing…

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I don't know what I am doing... but my life seems to be going in the right direction

Most successful people, if and when you ask them, they don't have a theory, they don't have a grand scheme of things, they are just doing what they are doing and it works. In one area of life...

Wherever they are successful.

Work, or health, ot relationships, or money... etc. Continue reading "Do you know what you are doing? Debunking the myth of knowing…"

Do I need to like you to love you? What is love? What is like?

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I have a call on Sundays with a guy whom I've never met. We did a course together back in 2007, were in the same mastermind on Sundays, and we just continued talking ever since...

I work through a lot of my stuff on those calls. I also get to insight I cannot get to, when my mouth is closed, i.e. I am not talking.

It is hard to be silently brilliant, lots of thought occur when you open your mouth.

And occasionally I talk about my students, and other people. Continue reading "Do I need to like you to love you? What is love? What is like?"

Republished: The runt of the litter and predatory genes

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In nature when a mother has a litter, there may be one or two that will not grow up to be adults... because there is just not enough tits, food, energy, attention is for them.

That is life.

Nature doesn't like to waste energy... Humans do.

Humans invented morality and the right to live, regardless whether it makes sense or not, so we have an upside down world, where we live in a should world. The selfish gene is not happy...

One of the things that make one the runt of the litter is not enough Life-Force... Life Force, at least partially, is expressed in the number of predatory genes, where you would push away another puppy from the food, so you can eat more. Continue reading "Republished: The runt of the litter and predatory genes"

Intrapersonal emotional intelligence, the ability and willingness to look within and see accurately

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People with intrapersonal emotional intelligence are adept at looking inward and figuring out their own feelings, motivations and goals. They are quintessentially introspective. They analyze themselves and seek understanding. People with intrapersonal intelligence are intuitive and usually introverted.

A year or two ago I saw a rather amateurish but good Singaporean TV show (The Truth Seekers) that shook me to my core... and woke me up.

I may be a conspiracy seeker... but I have a hunch that we, humans, have been trained, for millennia,  by society to look the other way, to deny human nature, and escape into nice-nice, and sugar and spice, instead of confronting head-on what we call human nature. Continue reading "Intrapersonal emotional intelligence, the ability and willingness to look within and see accurately"