Dilettante, amateur or master — audio blog

transcript, thank you legrande

Still worried. 🙁 Here’s my mitzvah for the day if you want to use it.

(I made slight edits for flow.)


(I’m not used to doing audio blogs. If no one’s listening, it’s hard for the words to come. It’s hard to be silently brilliant but it’s also hard to be brilliant when no one’s listening)

Yesterday I went out to my daily walk. Two doors down from where I live, there is a park where people bring their dogs. I see a dude with two dogs and at some point, the dogs start towards me. One of them–a big one–jumps on me. I lost my balance. I think I tripped on my own leg and started to fall. To break my fall (because I was falling smack towards the curb), I held out my hand which is a no-no for me because I pretty much would rather die than not be able to work.

I broke my hand. I cut my arm and have this huge bruise on my forehead­–but no concussion. I will look funny for a couple of weeks but my head is okay. I had some major nausea afterwards (which indicates that it wasn’t that easy on my head).

I couldn’t fall asleep till 4 am or whatever it was. It was so painful. I decided twenty years of not taking headache medication was enough. I took some headache medication­ for my arm. I then I had the good idea to use a piece of wood to stabilize my arm. I didn’t go to a doctor. The owner of the dogs offered but I don’t have insurance. Going to the emergency room is out of my budget (I don’t know how much it costs but anything is beyond my budget).

So I’m here–it’s the next day. I’m already drinking my second cup of coffee. I am having lots of insights about not having use of my left arm for typing, making coffee, wearing any clothes, going to the bathroom…all very interesting.

One of the insights is “how you do anything is how you do everything.” That is pretty much about your attitude.

My attitude is I am 100% responsible for everything that happens to me. I won’t press charges against the dog owner–he may be legally responsible but that is not my problem, that’s his. It’s my life and I’m going to take care of it.

That is my relationship to life, that I am responsible for all of it–which means it is my job to be well, no matter what happens to me.
On the surface, I may not be well. I am in pain. I don’t have use of my left arm blah blah blah. Yet, I pretty much can do anything I need to do. Maybe not anything that I want to do­–for example, I can’t touch type because you need two hands for that.
This morning, I used an Italian espresso machine. In order to use it, you need to look and see what part of your biology can replace another hand. Are you going to use your face, your chin, your thighs, your knees…what are you going to do?! How are you going to make life seamless, even though something is taken from you?
The interesting thing is the more skills you have in something­–anything, the more skills you have in life. But when I watch people, they are not skilled in anything. They are not good at anything. Honestly.
So why aren’t they good at anything? Because they never considered that taking something to the level of mastery is how they can be responsible for their life. They do things but they never consider practicing it or changing how they do it until they are masterful at it. It could be anything: how you change your bed sheets, how you do your laundry, how you chop onions, how you cook, how you make coffee…anything. Because if something happens, you are shit out of luck because now you are completely unable to live life.
This gist of what I want to say: the attitude of bringing excellence. Unless you take it to mastery, you don’t have anything.

For example, I used to have this workshop­–the StrengthsFinder workshop from “What Color is Your Parachute?” It helped people to see what skills they already have so that they can build on that. You find skills through stories of projects that you were successful at and enjoyed doing. I worked with 30, 40 people and I haven’t found not even one person who really mastered any skill.

You are satisfied with so-so and of course, your results are so-so.

Your life is so-so.

You come to me hoping for a better life without changing your relationship to life. You don’t change your “how you anything is how you do everything” attitude.


They call the person who has some sense of how to do something a dilettante, which is a French word for amateur.

Dilettante: a person who cultivates an area of interest, such as the arts, without real commitment or knowledge.

Dilettante is a state of development where you don’t put enough energy, enough care or enough conscious learning to become an expert. And then you want to live the life of an expert with a dilettante skillset.

That’s what I wanted to say. I’ll be making more of these audio blogs throughout the day.

note: it i skill-finder, not strength finder. fundamental difference

We all want to feel motivated. But we are all taught to go about it the wrong way

inner or intrinsic motivationInner motivation vs. Outer motivation… choose! Being motivated inwardly or outwardly. By returning to inner motivation you return to the childlike joy you remember so fondly…

Real motivation is like inspiration: being pulled into doing something, instead of being pushed into efforting and trying and all the horizontal plane feelings: having to, needing to, wanting to, and should. These are not present when you are motivated: you are just doing what you are doing because it’s fun, because it is interesting, because it is there to do… for its own sake. Continue reading “We all want to feel motivated. But we are all taught to go about it the wrong way”

Want to Be a fly on my wall? This may be my most revealing rant…

sunday-rantsSunday Rants

Want to get inside my head? What I think in my privacy? What I say to my faithful talking partner of nine years?

The calls last about 90 minutes, and you can have access to them.

Will you understand? Who knows? But they are really the politically incorrect thoughts and utterances of a “mystic”, whatever that means.

Are they interesting? I think so. Some calls more than others.
Continue reading “Want to Be a fly on my wall? This may be my most revealing rant…”

Falling in step, intelligence, tough choices

hardest-decisionsFalling in step

I just finished a Talk-to-me call. It’s a call available for people on my mailing list, where they can ask any questions and get answers, coaching, whatever they need. The call was a breakthrough  for me, in a lot of ways.

First off, I distinguished for myself, for the second time, that unless I fall in step with the person I coach, they can’t get what I am saying as contribution and cannot act on it.

Falling in step with music is obviously fun. Falling in step with a drum circle is fun. But falling in step with another person is a challenge. But unless you do, discord is the result.

So what does it take to fall in step with another person in a conversation? Whether it is a co-worker, a parent, a child, a spouse, a friend, if you learn to fall in step with them, you’ll experience influence, intimacy, closeness… all the things that are missing in most relationships.
Continue reading “Falling in step, intelligence, tough choices”

Panache Desai’s Soul Signature… Dissolving Density Programs and why they don’t work

it-talks-to-your-mindAny program that talks to your mind, the automatic thinking mind, is doomed to fail. But first it will titillate, soothe, much like a lullaby of a mother.

Why cannot they change you, and actually move you up where your soul wants to go?

Because you are stuck on low levels, young levels, and to unstuck you from there requires work… work that may not be pleasant, but unless it’s done, you are stuck forever.

The teachers you follow, the teachers whose products you buy, have one thing in common: they can sell ice to an Eskimo.

And you, who buys their product: you have one thing in common: you hope that life is going to be easy, and that by some miraculous way you can wish yourself out of the deep hole you live in.
Continue reading “Panache Desai’s Soul Signature… Dissolving Density Programs and why they don’t work”

What is missing that you aren’t changing? What is missing that your life is not changing?

Missing refers to something not present. There is no ‘missing’ in reality… but in comparison you can see that one scenario it is there, in another it isn’t.

In one action it is, in the other it isn’t. You can see when you put them side by side… which, of course an advanced move, but possible.

So in this article we compare someone who grows, someone who is able to change, and someone who stagnates, doesn’t grow, doesn’t change.

Most people have a real hard time changing, by the way. Changing their minds, mainly.

I connected to two people this morning, both doing their health measurements. One is my niece, early twenties, beautiful, complaining of belly ache. I felt how she felt (of course, that is my claim to fame!) and it was both pain and nausea. The numbers said that she has something growing in her left ovary.

She is sure it is her intestines, so she is keeping a very rigid vegan diet, goes to doctors to find out what she is allergic to… none of that makes a difference. She is looking in the neighborhood, but not asking the right questions. Knowing her, she is sure it’s her digestion.

The other person was sitting at his clients’ office, and probably wasn’t treated as well as he should be. Probably he was treated as a person of no consequence… And I can feel that he is angry, annoyed, self-righteous. But it is a client, and he stays mum.

I am connected to him for quite a while: his bad feelings are interfering with my measurement…

The question we are looking at is this: what is missing for you, for these two people, for everyone when they are wrong, angry, annoyed, and altogether not happy.

Question is: Where is the person looking from? And the second question: what are they looking at? And the third: what are the undisputed ‘truths’ about them, about the situation, and about the world?

Another way to ask the same thing: Are you looking at the world always the same way?

It keeps the world the same way! Including you.

What can you do to personally upgrade to Human Being: magnificent, cutting edge, inclusive? Learn from the Bateleur Eagle

I stopped at the public library yesterday and got a book, called Upgrade Me, by Brian Clegg.

I haven’t read it yet, so don’t rush and buy it: it may be good, or not, I’ll let you know. (book’s truth value: 3%, so probably not worth buying or reading it.)

Inclusivity vs. exclusivity

One thing is sure: replacing narrow personal or group “needs” with wider, more inclusive way of looking at things is the biggest missing, and it hasn’t gotten better in these past 100,000 years, despite all the pretense of love, light, and whatever preaching gurus and devotees. Or maybe because of it?

I am re-reading a book, some two thousand pages, on the history of the Mongols.

The the steppes of what is now Mongolia and the area around it, was, for hundreds of years, dominated by fighting between tribes that had their own khans. Same is true of the American Indians… they hail from the same area, the same culture… by the way.

Genghis Khan united them and made them a nation… brothers, sisters…

Today, looking at the world, looking at the few countries where I have some interest, the situation is not much different. We don’t call the fighting groups tribes, we call them factions, political parties, genders, narrow interest groups, sexual preferences groups, the home team and the ‘aliens’…

Most of what is considered today teaching, spiritual or otherwise, today makes any difference. For example, positive thinking doesn’t allow you to look at the world as it is, you are not allowed to look at darkness, evil, deception, lies, suffering, pain, illness, etc. the way they are, you need to put on the rose colored glasses to distort reality, rendering you stupid, blind, and a pretender. It is like going backwards in evolution.

Rob Brezsny, the horoscope guru, has a love-bent, light-bent, whatever bent on the top, but under it there is a shrewd transformational “guru” who, in every little article, forces you to either move your attention, move your perspective, move your context, and expand your cone of vision: all serving the exact same goal: making people, often, aware of what they are RIGIDLY blind to: the world is bigger than your personal or group concerns, and acting on the personal or group concerns destroys your world, but unless you practice this shift in view, REGULARLY, you can’t even see it.

It is true on the level of the individual, the group, government, race, and even humanity. We are all myopic, no matter how far we can see with technology: it is not only what we could see IF WE LOOKED, but what we don’t even look at. And we don’t look, and even when we look we don’t see. Without The Sight capacity open: we keep seeing the same thing… as if it were really there, really so… even if it is already gone.

This is why I say that we don’t see what’s there, we’ve projected what we see…

If you have been reading Rob Brezsny for as long as I have, (19 years) you’ll notice that he has about 30 different ways to alter your glance, and then he rotates them, 52 times a year.

bateleur_eagleMost of you will rush to read YOUR horoscope for the week below, but those of you who are interested in being guided to become human beings, Human 3.0 we could say, are going to look for the guidance in each horoscope, and experience what I am saying: the widening or moving or a combination of those of the glance: each and every one.

Horoscope signs, just like soul corrections, have one particular pivoting point issue, and Rob Brezsny uses that to shift around. Example: Pisces is airy-fairy, and has a hard time committing to anything physical, fixed… just read the Pisces horoscope: the recommendation is to attempt to fix the glance, for a few minutes anyway, so they can learn to look at things straight and be with it, and maybe commit to some accomplishment… would be revolutionary for a Pisces.

Call the horoscope’s suggestion the experiment of the week. I do… even if I don’t do it every week. Some weeks I don’t.

The other day I got an email from a student who is working on becoming flexible as a person. I suggested that she walks in the street and dances. For a few days she took his wife and his two boys with him, so he didn’t have to go alone and face people’s scorn at his behavior.

One day his wife and kids didn’t feel like walking so he summoned courage and went out by himself.

He writes: Sophie, I wanted to share this…it was funny….The family didn’t want to take a walk today..so I summoned courage and said “ah I am going to be bold and do this alone”….so I went out and was dancing with the weights in my hand…on the whole walk I think 4-5 people passed by me. And the voice in the head was saying “oh my god they are going to look at you and think you are strange”…and you know what…nobody looked…..I think I looked 2 or 3 of the passing people in the eyes and said in my head “hello look at me” but they just looked straight ahead…..After I passed the last person, near home I started laughing…..nobody gives a shit… not necessarily as I had assumed …LOL.

Working on his emotional flexibility, he started an experiment. After many experiments he, hopefully, will have turned her ideas on their heads…

It is possible to get experiment ideas to get from Rob Brezsny’s horosocopes below. It is possible to live life as an experiment, where you don’t already have the answers.

Answers to what? Sophie. Answers to who you are, for example.

In The Soaring Method you rename yourself on the fly. What it does is it takes you out of your rigid, fixed, inflexible way of looking at yourself. That new person, that renamed you can do things the fixed you can’t. Like not be impatient, not be arrogant, not be resistant, not be entitled, not be whatever you invented yourself to be, and got stuck with.

If you want to learn the Soaring Method, you can do so in this recorded workshop.

Learn to change who you are so you can be anything…
Sometimes it is looking at things that have always been FIXED  differently, so you can see beyond them, see what they could be had you not been rigidly fixed, rigidly explained, and rigidly stripped of beauty by Human 2.0, Calling it a sin, or what is temptation, what is love, what is gratitude, what is devotion.

I know it is a lot of reading, but don’t just read: muse about it, feel it, allow it to guide you. You’ll be surprised that you’ll end up liberated to move towards Human 3.0, the Upgraded Human, to desire and receive the DNA upgrade.

conquering-capricornCAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): In the dreams you’re having at night, Capricorn, I bet you’re traveling through remote landscapes in all kinds of weather. Maybe you’re recreating the voyage of the Polynesian sailors who crossed hundreds of miles of Pacific Ocean to find Hawaii 1,500 years ago. Or maybe you’re hiking through the Darkhad Valley, where the Mongolian steppe meets Siberia’s vast forests. It’s possible you’re visiting places where your ancestors lived or you’re migrating to the first human settlement on Mars in the 22nd century. What do dreams like this mean? I think you’re trying to blow your own mind. Your deep self and your higher wisdom are conspiring to flood you with new ways of seeing reality.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): It wouldn’t be too extreme for you to kiss the ground that has been walked on by people you care about deeply. And it wouldn’t be too crazy to give your special allies the best gifts ever, or compose love letters to them, or demonstrate in dramatic fashion how amazed you are by the beautiful truths about who they really are. This is a unique moment in your cycle, Aquarius — a time when it is crucial for you to express gratitude, devotion, and even reverence for those who have helped you see what it means to be fully alive.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): In a letter to F. Scott Fitzgerald, Ernest Hemingway described his vision of paradise. It would have a trout stream that no one but him was permitted to fish in. He’d own two houses, one for his wife and children and one for his nine beautiful mistresses. There’d be a church where he could regularly confess his sins, and he’d have great seats at an arena where bull fights took place. From my perspective, this is a pretty vulgar version of paradise, but who am I to judge? I suggest you draw inspiration from Hemingway as you come up with your own earthy, gritty, funky fantasy of paradise. It’s an excellent time for you to get down to earth about your high ideals and dreamy hopes.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Sometimes I think too fast and too much. My logic gets sterile. My ideas become jagged and tangled. When this happens, I head off to Turtle Back Hill for a hike through the saltwater marsh. The trail loops around on itself, and I arrive back where I started in about 15 minutes. Sometimes I keep walking, circumambulating 1 four or five times. Going in circles like this seems to help me knit together my fragmented thoughts. Often, by the time I’m finished, my mind feels unified. I recommend you find your own version of this ritual, Aries. From what I can tell, you need to get rounder and softer.

Camille-PissarroTAURUS (April 20-May 20): In the mid-19th century, French art was dominated by the government-sponsored Salon, whose conservative policies thwarted upcoming new trends like Impressionism. One anti-authoritarian painter who rebelled was Camille Pissarro. “What is the best way to further the evolution of French art?” he was asked. “Burn down the Louvre,” he replied. The Louvre, as you may know, was and still is a major art museum in Paris. Judging from your current astrological omens, I surmise that you might want to make a symbolic statement equivalent to Pissarro’s. It’s time for you to graduate from traditions that no longer feed you so you can freely seek out new teachers and influences.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): “Lead us not into temptation, and deliver us from evil,” is a request that Christians make of God when they say the Lord’s Prayer. If we define “temptation” as an attraction to things that feel good even though they’re bad for you, this part of the prayer is perfectly reasonable. But what if “temptation” is given a different interpretation? What if it means an attraction to something that feels pleasurable and will ultimately be healthy for you even though it initially causes disruptions? I suggest you consider experimenting with this alternative definition, Gemini. For now, whatever leads you into temptation could possibly deliver you from evil.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): “You get tragedy where the tree, instead of bending, breaks,” said the philosopher Ludwig Wittgenstein. But you don’t have to worry about that outcome, Cancerian. The storm might howl and surge, but it will ultimately pass. And although your tree may bend pretty far, it will not break. Two weeks from now, you won’t be mourning your losses, but rather celebrating your flexibility and resilience. Congratulations in advance!

intuitionLEO (July 23-Aug. 22): It’s a perfect time to start reclaiming some of the superpowers you had when you were a child. What’s that you say? You didn’t have any superpowers? That’s not true. Before you entered adolescence, you could see things and know things and feel things that were off-limits, even unknown, to most adults. You possessed a capacity to love the world with wild purity. Your innocence allowed you to be in close touch with the intelligence of animals and the spirits of the ancestors. Nature was so vividly alive to you that you could hear its songs. Smells were more intense. The dreams you had at night were exciting and consoling. Your ability to read people’s real energy — and not be fooled by their social masks — was strong. Remember?

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Not all darkness is bad. You know that. Sometimes you need to escape from the bright lights. It can be restorative to sit quietly in the pitch blackness and drink in the mystery of the Great Unknown. The same is true for silence and stillness and aloneness. Now and then you’ve got to retreat into their protective sanctuary. Dreaming big empty thoughts in the tranquil depths can heal you and recharge you. The magic moment has arrived for this kind of rejuvenation, Virgo.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): In the movie *Clueless,* the character played by Alicia Silverstone describes someone as a “full-on Monet.” What she means is that the person in question is like a painting by the French Impressionist artist Claude Monet. “From far away, it’s OK,” says Silverstone. “But up close, it’s a big old mess.” You may still be at the far-away point in your evaluation of a certain situation in your own life, Libra. It appears interesting, even attractive, from a distance. When you draw nearer, though, you may find problems. That doesn’t necessarily mean you should abandon it altogether. Maybe you can fix the mess so it’s as engaging up-close as it is from far away.

bateleur-01SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Your power animal for the coming months is the Bateleur eagle of Africa. In the course of searching for its meals, it covers about 250 square miles every day. It thinks big. It has a spacious scope. I hope you get inspired by its example, Scorpio. In 2014, I’d love to see you enlarge the territory where you go hunting for what you want. Fate will respond favorably if you expand your ideas about how to gather the best allies and resources. As for this week, I suggest you get very specific as you identify the goals you will pursue in the coming months by exploring farther and wider.

Homework: spot three different ways YOU could expand your vision, move your glance, or look beyond the limited meanings, so you can start to be ready for the Upgrade. Comment below if you feel generous today.