What is a soul-mate? Who is your soul-mate? Are they unconditionally nice-nice, or accepting?

One of my students is asking a really good question.

She has two friends whose soul correction is Forget Thyself... and she has a good relationship with me... and I have that same soul correction.

She asks:

Sophie, after I read your last article I checked my last 2 friends' soul corrections. My one friend who pushed me to a certain level had a soul correction Forget Thyself. My friend now, whom I met this year, also has a soul correction Forget Thyself. Interesting. Do we get attracted to certain soul corrections or maybe we get along better with some soul corrections that matches our soul correction?

The answer is not that simple.

  • We know that we have two selves. One self doesn't change. We can call it the soul. Or the Self. Or whatever you want to call it, it is unchanging. It is the same in you, it is the same in me... it is, maybe, the Self of what's possible for the human species...
  • Obviously your other self is far from that, it is changing, it is reactive, put together, selfish, and complaining, and haughty, and bossy... all the things you see everywhere.

You are BEING that other self.

Soul correction is the soul's attempt to bring that public and not so high minded other self up to its own level.

According to my muscle test, a perfect soul correction never happened in history before. Some low mindedness always snuck in to spoil the deal... My favorite character, in this regard, is Moses, Moshe Avenu, who, at the end of his long and amazing life, could not resist begging the Creator to let him enter the Promised Land, even though their deal was: you won't. Your job is to lead them there, and die.

If there were such a thing as gilgul , reincarnation of the soul, I probably would be a reincarnation of Moses, given what my work is: leading a handful of you to the Promised Land, but being too old to enter myself with you. I find it very funny, lol.

OK, my personal stuff aside, back to how you choose partners, friends, spouses. Is there anything guiding it?

The Choice that is guided by your lower self

According to Landmark Education, your racket chooses your partner's racket. Your racket, the sneaky little lower self complaining that "the world isn't making it happy" part of you.

And that seems to be one choice... the choice that firmly keeps you stuck and anchored in your lower self.

Spouses... lovers... yeah... I'll give you some examples a little later, but I want to distinguished the second choice:

The choice that is guided by the soul.

Growth happens only when you can see that you need to grow, because the opposite is ugly. Really... Ugly, unpleasant, distasteful, disgust are guiding feelings, pushing you higher on the scale of beingness, which we call soul correction.

A friend who was chosen by the soul, is irritating, somewhat.

They will either push you: friction, or show the same ugly behavior your soul wants you to correct.

Without that, without them doing whatever low-minded thing you are doing, you are not aware that you are doing it.

Almost all of my students chose me as a teacher from the urging of the soul.

I cause friction. I won't let you get away with the behavior or attitude you need to correct, and I will be blunt about it.

Some escape, and return to the friends that match their little lower self complaining that the world isn't making it happy... your lower self. They have given up on soul correction... for now. Hopefully they will get disgusted soon enough.

Your ability to take friction depends on your pain-tolerance, on the strength of your inner desire to become all you can become, your TLB.

As you take the friction, you act on it, as you consider it the best thing that can happen to you, better than sliced bread, your vibration grows, and your two selves grow closer.

You have first moments, then minutes, then hours that you love yourself, and you love your life.

You need friction to grow... in everything.

Now, let's look at your family. You know you chose your spouse, but do you choose your parents? Siblings?

I am not sure. To me they all seem to be the crabs in the bucket that keep you from escaping the bucket, keep you in misery... but did you really choose them?

If your lower self chose your spouse for the express purpose to allow you to be comfortable as the little clod of ailments that claims that they want to be happy, they are now part of the whole family, and part of the crab bucket, in league with your parents, siblings, and your in-laws.

I haven't seen anyone whose soul has chosen their spouse, but it is not impossible.

We call that choice: soul-mate. Soul mate provides the friction you both need to grow.

Spouses provide the smoothness and comfort that is like the bed in the morning: feels soft and comfortable... so you don't get up to do what you said you would do.

Now, famous last words: if you have a self-deluding type of soul correction,

...like the student who asked the question, you'll see only what you want to see, and will feel very self-satisfied and happy with yourself.

But don't go that fast, suspect that the lower self is sneaky, and is a shape-shifter, it is the trickster...

Ask for your vibration number, and get knocked conscious, awake, aware, please.

The reality of your low number can wake you up...

You see that my job, being the ultimate soul mate is to knock you conscious... I am a natural at it... lol.

Weeping looking back at the path — republished

I wrote this article in 2015. I am republishing it... because it is important to read now... given the next article I just wrote... It will make it easier to get.

Here I am this cool Saturday morning, weeping.

I observe. What is there? Pain, definitely. Sense of loss, yes. Sadness, no. Regret, no. Resentment, no.

I have had a hard life. The hardest part is the last 30 years. Maybe 33... Since I left Hungary.

In Hungary I had friends. I had people who would want me around, who would walk with me, who would vouch for me.
Continue reading "Weeping looking back at the path — republished"

The bumbling idiot’s guide to living a life worth writing about

"The only thing worth writing about is the human heart in conflict with itself" said William Faulkner. I agree, even though the language, the vocabulary is imprecise.

The "heart" is one self, and the other self is the precious "I", the delusional "I", the lower self.

The conflict, the struggle to make those two selves align, as William Faulkner says, is worth writing about... because it is like a hero's journey.

I call it "soul correction" because I am firmly rooted in Kabbalah's view of life. But it is the same thing: bringing the two selves in harmony so they cause synergy that allows living a life worth writing about.

This pretty much the context for the next quote: "Either write something worth reading (about) or do something worth writing (about)." - Benjamin Franklin. I added the word "about" in brackets for clarity. Continue reading "The bumbling idiot’s guide to living a life worth writing about"

Do NOT set ambitious goals… sounds counter cultural? Of course, what else did you expect?

If the caterpillar planned to become a butterfly, there would be no more butterflies.

In the famous marshmallow experiment by Walter Mischel. He said that the 30% of the kids that didn't eat the marshmallow, didn't even look at the marshmallow. They kept doing other things, keeping their eyes off the marshmallow. Consciously, intentionally, purposefully.

I have read a lot about that experiment, I have even written about it, but I didn't know that the "winners" avoided looking at the marshmallow. that piece was missing for me, until now.

Watching that TED talk yesterday opened up something inside, that is still full of swirling fog, ethereal figures, and yet, I know that something from the invisible has been released. Continue reading "Do NOT set ambitious goals… sounds counter cultural? Of course, what else did you expect?"

The path to self-love… a totally different take… a valid one.

Some 35 years ago I read Rav Hillel's few lines, If I am not for myself, who will be for me?

If I am not for me, who will be for me? And when I am for myself alone, what am I? And if not now, then when?

it flew in the face of the culture I was raised in, Socialism... I cried, and started to attempt to integrate it.

It took me 35 years.

It's the hardest of any journey to self-love, self care.

It was for me, and it may be for you... It is easier when you have a teacher.

The main job of a teacher is to hold the dirt while you are digging for gold. The gold is there, but unless someone is there to hold the dirt, the dirt falls back into the hole and covers the gold.

I just listened to a TED talk, and it lays out an amazing and simple way to take care of yourself...
Continue reading "The path to self-love… a totally different take… a valid one."

There is no suffering, there is never anything wrong in reality. All suffering, all wrong is brought on by words…

myth... unrealityWe live in an imaginary reality... with literally no capacity, no ability to tell fact from fiction.

For the purposes of this conversation we'll define reality as something even a just landed Martian can see, a Martian who isn't complicit in the fiction we have been honoring as reality.

A Martian can see what is actually happening, but cannot see anything that is a cultural modification of the happening, or what happens inside your head.

So, for example, a Martian can see your mother talking, can hear voice coming out of your mother's mouth. But he won't see yelling, because yelling is a cultural, very emotional modification of speaking, even of speaking loudly. And a newly minted visitor on Earth, a Martian will not consider the meaning of the words, because the meaning isn't happening... Continue reading "There is no suffering, there is never anything wrong in reality. All suffering, all wrong is brought on by words…"

You hate your job? It is boring? It doesn’t make a difference? You are not good at it? It just pays the bills but no fulfillment?

George Bernard Shaw wrote more than a hundred years ago: "This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being a force of nature instead of a feverish, selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy."

And what he wrote about you, being a feverish, selfish little clod of ailments and grievances... is more true today than it was in his time.

No one has offered a solution to that issue until now.

Continue reading "You hate your job? It is boring? It doesn’t make a difference? You are not good at it? It just pays the bills but no fulfillment?"

What is reality? Is this real? Is this happening or is this just my mind playing with me?

has it ever occurred to you that you might be wrong?This is a severely truncated article from "Vox"... I am only interested in giving you Bayes' Method, that will help you go to reality with more certainty than you have now, and spend less time, a whole lot less wondering about your feelings... Whatever they may be.

To my dismay, this is what you have been doing, emoting. You make your decisions based on emotions... Life spent in utter uselessness.

I must admit: I didn't know. I have never done that. I have never been thoroughly seduced to go down THAT rabbit hole, and spend my life in utter uselessness there. Continue reading "What is reality? Is this real? Is this happening or is this just my mind playing with me?"

You never feel bad about what you think you feel bad about

Homo Sapiens, as a species, is pretty messed up. Everything sets its emotions off, and the specimen gets all emotional, angry, afraid, violent, or sad and depressed.

This emotional reactivity makes getting things done near impossible, learning, or having people together pretty hopeless.

Almost all diseases are a consequence of this phenomenon... people eat to soothe themselves. People eat to eat another out of their fortune. People eat to feel superior. People eat to get some enjoyment out of life.

And they eat to fix the damage that overeating caused, and do all kinds of unnecessary things to reduce the damage. Continue reading "You never feel bad about what you think you feel bad about"

The Michelangelo Method of becoming you

As I said it before, I have a strong affinity to the dramatic... in every area of life. This may be part of my bipolar personality... taking things to the extreme.

I do that with food... I call them experiments, but largely these are experiments taken to the just too much...

And, or course, I pay the price. With my health, mainly.

But... as in everything, there is a silver lining, a benefit, that I would be amiss not to appreciate.

I have discovered almost everything in the area of health this way. Or in the area of training, self or others... or in anything else.

So my latest "fad" thing has been sorghum. I cooked up a huge vat of sorghum seeds with sauteed (fried?) onions and butter... delicious. Continue reading "The Michelangelo Method of becoming you"