What can you do to feel better about yourself, about life, about the future?

There is a myth that there are people who are no-person outside of their function… doormen, drivers, conductors, ticket collectors, guards, secretaries…

But it is an illusion.

Just because you talk to someone you don’t consider them a person necessarily. According to my muscletesting, most people, most of the time, don’t consider anyone a person.

So how do you know if you are treating someone as a person or if you are treating them as a thing? And if you are treating them as a thing: what is ‘wrong’ with it?

It’s a theory, but muscle test says it’s true: when you treat someone as a thing, you become a thing. A thing only cares about itself, only worries about itself, is only concerned with its self-interest… to be safe, to win, to be right.

The more you treat anyone as a thing, the more you are like that… not very personlike. Continue reading “What can you do to feel better about yourself, about life, about the future?”

Can you listen while you talk? Do you listen while you talk?

As usual, I started my day with emails, because, surprise, I wasn’t aching to tell you something… I had nothing to say.

That doesn’t stop millions, maybe billions of people from talking nonsense, I observe, and in fact I myself was labeled chatty Cathy, or chatterbox in English, or Dumás Dusi in Hungarian.

I have a neighbor whose daughter, around two, is like that. Cute… but must be incredibly tiresome for the parents.

I also have students who, when allowed, talk INCESSANTLY.

Surprisingly or not, the more you talk the less what you say matters, the less anyone will believe you, the less worthwhile it is to listen to you.

Now, apart from the systemic judgment, whether it is good or bad, useful or useless, or even if what comes out is valuable or worthless… what else can we say about talking?

I watched a little commercial this morning… Continue reading “Can you listen while you talk? Do you listen while you talk?”

You can take the girl out of the culture, but can’t take the culture out of the girl

What culture am I talking about? The homo sapiens culture. The culture of the mind. The cult of the mind.

I am not the first person to talk about it, talk against it… Not even the second… lol.

But it is all in vain… The mind, unattended, will continue doing what the mind does: worry about the past, worry about the future, and be completely clueless about what’s going on.

Especially clueless about the effect it has on you and the quality of your life: how you feel about yourself and about your life.

In fact, your mind considers you simply a vehicle, and I don’t think you expect yourself worrying about your vehicle’s emotions… after all it’s a thing… isn’t it? Its job is to carry you around.

And even in olden times, when horses were the main vehicles: the riders didn’t much worry about the emotions of the horse… they probably worried about feeding it and getting it water… washing it, etc. but not its emotions.

And by the same token, your mind doesn’t worry about your emotions… And, whether you agree with this or not, how you feel is what defines the quality of your life. You can have success, a beautiful family, if you don’t feel good about it, and if you don’t feel good about yourself, the quality of your life is sh*t. Continue reading “You can take the girl out of the culture, but can’t take the culture out of the girl”

Why is the Validation Challenge nearly impossible for people?

One of the problems that people in the Validation Challenge have is that they use the focused mind to look.

In the ‘learning to learn’ course we learned that the mind can be in the focused state and in the unfocused state.

Mine is in the unfocused state 91% of the time. Even when I write an article, even when I lead a workshop, even when I am on the phone, even when I read, even when I attend a webinar.

Why?

OK, let’s look at the focused mind. The focused mind is narrowed in on what it’s looking at. Narrowing in may make it sharper, but there is no bandwidth, and it is trying too hard. Continue reading “Why is the Validation Challenge nearly impossible for people?”

What can you learn from a theoretical physicist, a famous ad writer, art collector to become a person… yourself?

What does an ad writer have to do with being happy, fulfilled, and joyful? Other than selling it to you… lol… right?

Most things that I teach are difficult to understand enough that you actually know it and can teach it. Unless you can teach it, you didn’t learn it… The Feynman technique teaches how to get there… but this article is not about that.

Knowing what I talk about, really KNOWING is mandatory if you want to use it to become a human being.

Unless you can teach it, you don’t know it. Even repeating what I say verbatim would be a big step for most of the people who read my articles, come to my live sessions.

Literally no one takes the effort, for some ego reason. Continue reading “What can you learn from a theoretical physicist, a famous ad writer, art collector to become a person… yourself?”

If you feel like you are treated like a thing… often like dirt, a doormat; a thing to use. And no, this not me-too…

I don’t know about you, but being treated like a thing is at the root of almost every human misery… starting when you were little…

So in my practice, I am starting to realize, that is what needs to be dug out and looked at, so people can really get what they are stuck with, what is the thorn that is in their side… why they think they can’t, why they think they have to become special, or rich, or pretty, or thin, or famous… to finally be someone who isn’t treated like a thing.

But while being treated like a thing, it is normal: 99.99% of humanity only sees things, including themselves. In fact, when I muscle test. I get the answer that not more than 1000 people on the planet can see people as people, not as things.

What is even more surprising, all those 99.99% see themselves as things as well. Continue reading “If you feel like you are treated like a thing… often like dirt, a doormat; a thing to use. And no, this not me-too…”

Eudaimonia… living a life you love and live it powerfully

This morning I woke up and have been up now for more than two hours, and not a lick of work has been done… I have been musing. Hungarian songs swirl in my mind, I look up words I never knew what they meant… but in the age of google you can look up anything, and find…

Old, forgotten words in songs belie the history of the people changing… what they eat, what animals they keep around, how they think.

And then this old movie song sneaks up, in my mind, and I cry and cry again. Continue reading “Eudaimonia… living a life you love and live it powerfully”