Everyone and their brother say you can’t change the past… But what if you can?
One of my favorite movies is ‘Back to the Future 3’
Somehow, by magic, our hero, whose name I forgot, played by Michael J. Fox, gets that him being called a coward, makes him do things that destroy his life. So he makes a different choice, in that past, and changes his future… dramatically.
Every time I watch it, my eyes tear up… I am moved to tears. I am sooo proud of him.
I am playing Freecell. I do that to learn pattern recognition, I do that to track how high or how low my intelligence is, given what I eat, or what I do. I do that because while I am doing that, inspiration strikes, more often than not.
So I don’t play Freecell to win, don’t play Freecell to entertain myself… not even close. It is not like youtube, or some other stupid social media, that wants to hijack your attention: in fact it gives my attention back to me…
So as I am sitting here, I remember a British TV show (The Paradise) about a department store and a young girl who becomes an entrepreneur. It was excellent, in spite of the soap opera elements… and then suddenly it ended before its time.
I did an unintended experiment on Monday and Tuesday.
I ate the equivalent of two three cookies in carbs and I crashed for two days… My intelligence, my balance, my mood, my muscle strength all gone, I walked around in my apartment like a 90 year old, holding onto furniture, walls, door jambs.
Wobbly, heavy, dumb. I went through hypoglycemia with headache and shaking hands…
Now, why am I sharing this?
Because my pancreas was in good shape, I have come out of it, after two days, fatter and OK. Packed on three pounds, but I am almost OK. My pancreas measures 10%…
But what happens if your pancreas can’t deal with all that carbs?
Many people want to run their own business, they want to be entrepreneurs.
But when you observe their behavior, everything points to the fact that that is a pretense.
Why would anyone pretend that? Ultimately that is an expensive pretense… like the boy’s you cried ‘wolf’. Ultimately people stop believing you, and only people who are engaged in the same pretense will.
How do you know what you really want?
Simple: you observe yourself, jot down how much time and attention you give to each thing that occupies your day, and do it for a week.
I am a foreigner. I learned the English words, one by one. Since the age of 10… English was my third language.
I only started to learn the beingness associated with, the beingness indicated by some big words when I came to the United States at age 38 and started the work of transformation.
The first beingness word I looked into was generosity. I was still a beginner at distinguishing.
Distinguishing is the art of precision, astuteness, of what something is and what that something isn’t. What it isn’t will distinguish that thing a lot better, a lot clearer than trying to explain what it is. Interesting, isn’t it? Michelangelo and his David… Removing, in language, the parts of the stone that aren’t David.
I had to learn the hard way what generosity isn’t, how “generosity” can and does make enemies of friends, destroys you in the process, while it builds your ego sky high.
One of the enemies you need to work against, and I mean WORK against, is the impression other people give you, that if you can see it, you can do it.
That if you see a result, you can have it.
It seems to be sold and bought wholesale by nearly everyone, and buying that, of course, reduces you to a thing that engages in wishful thinking, but does no productive work.
It is so seductive to think that forcing yourself to do work belongs to lesser people. That to actually learn how to climb the mountain, get the right gear, get the right guidance is something you’ll never have to do… because you are special, you are better.
When I turned 10 I started to put on weight. With starving myself, I was slim for about 20 years of my life, pleasantly plump and occasionally fat the other 40. I am 72 now, and my weight is creeping up. Again. It’s at 135. It was 125 at the start of the lockdown. I am 5’4″, 163 cm.
I am sure I am not alone with weight issues. I move less, and I eat more. Douse nervous energy with eating. The caged animal syndrome.
I am looking what it is I can do to counter my sluggish thyroid and my misbehaving pancreas… I can’t see myself eating less right now.
Source tells me that I can heal them both with Light energy… the same I use for liver and brain cleanse… But will that be enough? Will I be better and fat? lol.