…and what can go wrong, what always goes wrong with relationships… And how the same things could go right with just a little thought… Everything the internet says is shallow, surface, and cheap… instead I suggest distinctions.
I live in a two-family home. I live upstairs. This apartment used to be the owner’s… when their kids got too big, they bought another house and started to rent both apartments.
I know the owner, I know his wife, and I know that people in this street still remember how they used to fight, cats and dogs, scream loud enough for everyone to hear.
This article is evergreen. I wrote it nine years ago… and it still speaks to me… the addictive tendencies will not disappear with time…
Yehuda Berg writes:
There are people in our lives who don’t want to receive what we have to give them. …
… we invest efforts into keeping some relationships burning in our lives that we’d be better off letting burn out.
… life is all about circuitry. When we share our Light with people who don’t want to receive it, it’s like trying to fill a bottle when the cap is still on. Try as you might, with all of the love, intention, and desire to share, your energy simply cannot penetrate. And as with our favorite spiritual illustration, the lightbulb, if the negative pole is blocked, the circuit cannot be completed, and the energy cannot flow.
It’s not about judging people as worthy or unworthy. It’s about discerning who is ‘open’ to receive, and willing to use what we have to offer – wisdom, love, time, concern – no matter what flavor!
No doubt, if you go through your relationships, in your head, one by one, you are going find several that fit the above description: Your desire to contribute to them is not received with an equal amount of desire to receive from you.
Some people, including myself, more than I am happy to admit, make it our life’s purpose to give where it is not appreciated, or even not wanted. But everyone, at one time or another, decides where to give, by their own concepts, instead of looking where there is the most reception.
At the same time, one may fall into the opposite trap, the bottomless pit, or the bottle with the cap off, but cracked. I call that the Black Hole… the other extreme of the No Circuitry sole correction.
I used to have a client (or two, or three, or four… grrr) where we would have great conversations, I would be able to express all the light the Light wanted me to channel, but nothing would stick with the recipient.
This particular client, let’s call him Matt, was hungry for solutions, hungry for light, hungry… insatiable. What he wasn’t hungry for is making changes in his thinking or in his actions.
My style of coaching is to leave the client with a set of practices or action that they must complete in order for the session to make any real difference. Matt never did any of the actions, any of the practices. Instead, he came to every call as if the previous one had never happened. Unchanged.
He remembered them all right, but remembering is the booby prize… not much value there. His life didn’t notice he had that session.
I “fired him” from my practice… after a while.
I noticed that there was a certain co-dependency developing: it gave me a sense of accomplishment and an experience of being very bright to channel the Light. And he came to me the way an alcoholic goes to the pub.
I needed to restrict my addictive tendencies and ask him to get his daily fix someplace else.
Result? I started to channel the Light into my writing, into my business, into my garden, and into my own well-being. All areas were parched… and all those areas are now starting to blossom.
The point? There is an abundance of Light available for you to channel. But channel it to someplace where it can make a difference, someplace where it will cause abundance. OK?