I am sitting here by my computer feeling devastated. In despair. On the verge of crying.
I have no reason to feel this way. Things are OK, I am OK. WTF! right?
So I muscle test. Is this mine? No. Is this coming from my next door neighbor? yes/no
OK? it is coming from there and from somewhere else? right? yes.
Is it an energy blast? A broadcast? Yes. We both got caught up in that. With the major difference, that I can tell, because of muscle testing, that it is not mine. So she remains in despair and i am free.
But whether you will vote to Obama, McCain, or you stay at home and let others decide, one thing is certain, no one is looking at the real issue:
The skill it takes to win the votes of the majority, i.e. win an election is a very different skill from the skill of running a country. Unless running it to the ground qualifies as running it…. 😉 as we have experienced, time and time again.
Just like in politics, the same is true for teaching anything, including internet marketing. The skill it takes to be a successful internet marketer is a vastly different skill from the skill of causing another person’s success.
We all look to our guru to teach us what to do and how to do it, so that we can be successful like them, and we all get very frustrated and very weary, because what they say and what they do are often different, and even if and when we did exactly what they said to do, we meet with meager success.
How come? We seem all very surprised.
Well, let me ask you this: have you ever heard of a successful football or basketball coach that played real well?
Or the reverse: have you ever heard of a successful player that was also a great coach?
I have been observing myself as a spiritual practice. Trying to “remember myself” as Gurjieff would say it, call upon the “witness” or “observer”. Be awake. Either way, I have noticed something remarkable about myself: see if you can relate.
When I am in front of my computer* (where I spend most of my day) and I encounter something that requires the slightest push on my end, I see myself automatically going to the computer game of my choice, freecell.
I began observing this phenomenon about 6 months ago (it was there, unobserved, for many years). But 4 days ago I decided to employ “restriction,” which is one of Kabbalah’s main tenets, and see what will happen.
For about 36 hours I closed the freecell program as soon as I opened it. Then every time I was “awake” which means I was by myself and I was still observing myself. On the other hand, every time I was on the phone, or watching a video on my computer, or listening to an audio file, my attention wasn’t on myself, and I played… until I “woke up.”
Still curious, more interested in the experiment than conquering the force that moves my hand, I saw something today that is worth sharing.
Since I have started this blog, I have been watching how I somehow leak the energy that is necessary for creative thinking and expression… by talking on the phone, by playing freecell.
Every occasion when I need the little push and I opt to play instead, two things happen: 1. I have diminished the internal discomfort 2. I have successfully diverted my attention from what is important to me.