Is it worth it? Is it worth the bother, the effort, the work? Will it get me finally what I want?
One of the reasons people don't like to try new things is because they cannot judge whether they can do it or not. Whether it will be easy or not. Whether it will be pleasant and enjoyable or not.
How come? Why is it so difficult? Life is complex, and most of us have no tolerance for complexity. Complexity, ambivalence, ambiguity are normal, but the capacity to hold them becomes available to you in only at a certain brain development age... If you got stuck in young child brain development, that is most people, you have never developed the capacity.
Can you develop this capacity now? Of course you can. What is preventing you from doing it? Your low TLB number... you are a Twitchy Little Bastard... and you can't deal with complexity, confusion, or looking long enough to actually see something.
Some of my students, when they learned about my habit of looking long and more than just once... as a way to deal with my dyslexia, have started to practice the same... and their ability to hold controversy and ambivalence has increased... because of that practice. But if you fancy yourself smart, quick, etc. Looking long and hard is going to be difficult, because your precious "I" will tell you that only stupid people look long and hard.
The world is mundane. Ordinary. At least through ordinary eyes. It is just the way it is.
Some people see beauty, some people see truth, some people see goodness, but for the most part you see reasons to justify why you only trudge through life, never really seeing any poetry, any romance, anything really uplifting.
The Beyond, The Divine, The "Spirit" gets through to you through one of those, truth, beauty, goodness, and how you know it got to you because something echoes in your Soul.
You cry, you laugh, you shut up... words don't come close to express it.
When I work with people on their life's purpose, on the meaning of their lives, especially when I do it in a private call, I need to work a lot.
I've been weeping for an hour or so. It is the tears of the soul.
The trigger: thinking of Billy Elliot, well known to many: where the spirit had a chance to fully express itself through a human: a rare phenomenon: we seem to have a hard time hearing the gently nudging of the spirit. By spirit I really mean the soul: I use the words interchangeably. In Hebrew: ruah, neshama, nefesh: they are different states of the same soul: expressing where the soul is with regards to its correction, with regards to becoming like God. 1
For years I've seen that humans, humanity, are stuck in a place where happiness is impossible, accomplishment is not predictable, and health is touch and go.
I've had big hopes, selfish hopes, that I will be the one to unstuck you.
Lots of other people have this hope... and the hopes remain hopes, because you have a vested interest to keep what keeps you stuck in place? If we knew what keeps you stuck, maybe we could unstuck you.
We don't know what it looks like to be good, to be kind, to be independent, to be happy, etc.
I wrote recently about my quest to become a kind person.
I am 70 years old. Why now? why so late in life?
When I look back at my childhood, when I look at my brothers, their wives, I see no kindness. EVER.
I am now able to be kind except right now, today... I am irritated, and out of balance... I don't want to share the "story", but please know that there are innate capacities and learned capacities. I will never be as patient as a saint... especially when I am out of balance... Kindness and patience are intimately connected.
It's a normal day to me: I went deep inside the energy body of a person in Singapore and got in touch with her life, her urges, how she thinks, and what pains she has. I pulled her energetic attachments.
I was feeling her grief, and inner storm for an hour or two, while she was digesting the information.
She has calmed down, maybe because it is really late at night in Singapore.
I have been muscle testing, diligently, if the stories that sell products, courses, software, are facts or made-up likely stories.
A likely story is a lie.
We, marketers, are taught: facts tell, but stories sell.
And so every sales letter is one story of another.
I used to be a liar, because I didn't think life was interesting enough, so I embellished it. I was caught, and it didn't matter. I just kept making up interesting stories, mostly sob stories about myself.