There is a myth that there are people who are no-person outside of their function… doormen, drivers, conductors, ticket collectors, guards, secretaries…
But it is an illusion.
Just because you talk to someone you don’t consider them a person necessarily. According to my muscletesting, most people, most of the time, don’t consider anyone a person.
So how do you know if you are treating someone as a person or if you are treating them as a thing? And if you are treating them as a thing: what is ‘wrong’ with it?
It’s a theory, but muscle test says it’s true: when you treat someone as a thing, you become a thing. A thing only cares about itself, only worries about itself, is only concerned with its self-interest… to be safe, to win, to be right.
We are judged all the time. Justly, unjustly, the feeling of being judged is familiar to all of us… and some of us is bothered and paralyzed by it more than others.
What’s painful in being judged is that the judgment contains a kernel of truth (or more) and the other part is the judging themselves: in judging they place themselves above us… simply unbearable to the sensitive Precious “I”.
This story is about my very recent “bout” with being judged… and shows what is on the other side of judgment… how to free yourself from it so it doesn’t sting quite that much… maybe not even at all.
One of the common characteristics of people I meet is that they have no skills, no tool box, they are waiting for the right opportunity to do anything. They will start to learn the right skills when they need them, when they’ll know what they want to do. And, of course, it is too late to dig a well when you are thirsty… they languish of thirst…
I am a lot like Bob in the movie “Bob The Butler”.
I am inspired by that movie to do even more skill building to fill my tool box.
I am 70 years old. I have 27 skill sets, 27 ways to make a living. I am an architect. I am a brick mason. I can lay wooden floor, I can lay tiles both on the floor and on the wall. I can hang wallpaper. I am a plumber. etc. etc. etc. One time I counted. I have forgotten more professions than you know how to do.
What did this do to me? What did this do to Bob, the butler?
It’s, as it is usual with me, an experiment. I ask for my time at $200-$250 an hour, and I give away 3-4 hours a week in strategy sessions. I am starting to feel the tiredness… in fact this morning I woke up exhausted.
For most people time is just time… not any currency… but for me it is the most valuable non-renewable resource. It is not just time, it is all I have… And it is hard on my brain, hard on my body, hard on my nervous system as I am giving all I have to a client.