Your life is like a boat on sea… Where it’s going is given by the drift 96%

Every learning is becoming. Every action that is aimed at learning but doesn't lead to becoming... is not learning, it is just a pretense. Treading water. The drift.

But becoming is not easy, and it takes longer than you would expect. OK, longer than I expect. Longer than I have been expecting... 🙁

Why? because some of the learning requires you to be "right there", ready for that particular learning. You first need to become ready. Continue reading "Your life is like a boat on sea… Where it’s going is given by the drift 96%"

How to break through when life looks hopeless or too hard or unmanageable… Overwhelmingly so.

I have two articles ready in my "pipeline", but this topic is pushing its way in... What do you do, where do you go, when life seems to tell you that you are not enough? And feel pushed into overwhelm

When your precious "I" gets threatened? When you get a glimpse that you are, in fact, not the knight in shining armor...

I think I am becoming more empathic. I think I am becoming more sensitive to your unhappiness. Maybe even more compassionate?

Compassion is seeing where you are at, seeing that I've been there before, and offering a helping hand to help you get through it.

This is not how you had it, am I right?

Anyway, back to topic... what do you do when you find that you are not enough, you are not a match to life? Continue reading "How to break through when life looks hopeless or too hard or unmanageable… Overwhelmingly so."

Pinpoint accuracy or shotgun method?

There are really two types of people when it comes to making more money: one group will chase the mirage, the lottery approach, winning, betting on schemes... and the other, the tiny group that sees that making more money is a natural fallout of becoming worth a damn. 1

I am interested in talking to the second group, the tiny group.

You see, knowing that you should become worth a damn is nice and dandy... but knowing with pinpoint accuracy where you aren't... what it is that you need to do next to increase your worth a damn factor is crucial.

Life is holographic. Maybe it is the Universe... but who am I to just repeat something I heard... I don't know about the Universe. But I do know about Life. Continue reading "Pinpoint accuracy or shotgun method?"

More on the latticework on which you hang new knowledge to become worth a damn

Latticework can be likened to a Christmas Tree.

I once had a boy friend who bought tree ornaments as gifts every Christmas. Even to people who didn't have a tree... ;-/

One of the barriers to real knowledge, I have found in my students, is compartmentalizing.

The opposite of compartmentalizing is the integrative approach...

I first saw this phenomenon in 1988, when i first read the famous book, What Color Is Your Parachute.

The core of that book is completely wasted on 99% of the readers. The core that talks about portable, transferable skills.

The reason people don't get it, because they cannot see the integrative aspect...

All in all... if we look through spiritual capacities, the issue is that people look through a narrow cone of vision.
Continue reading "More on the latticework on which you hang new knowledge to become worth a damn"

What you say and what you do… when it comes to your children becoming educated, productive people

One of the signs of the overwhelming inauthenticity 1 and low level of integrity is the gap between what people say and what people do.

We, my marketing student and I, have been surveying mothers and fathers of children to find out to what degree they care about their children's future. Continue reading "What you say and what you do… when it comes to your children becoming educated, productive people"

Fighting windmills? No time to do good stuff, let alone great stuff?

I just learned something terrible about myself. A lot of people hear me as if I were their father.

You see, in my family I was the dunce... meaning stupid. And even though I had straight A grades, and I was good at everything I tried, I remained stupid for my family.

How this works I don't know. But this seems to be the dynamic: people make a decision about you, and then they never really look at you again.

You take it on, as the truth, and freeze into it. You allow it to guide you through life.

With me it was a little different, because I am defiant. I am not defiant to the person who speaks it, I am defiant to the saying. I am going to prove them wrong.

My brother, my older brother was the apple of my mother's eye. He was smart, and good looking. And a boy. He had no challenge (as far as I can see it) because he didn't look at life's challenges as challenges... he didn't study, and his grades were pitiful. Continue reading "Fighting windmills? No time to do good stuff, let alone great stuff?"

MVP… Life’s most valuable player? Minimum viable product? What is the connection?

Confession time: I have a very small window where I experience being physically well. Or emotionally well. I am not very sturdy.

I have a tiny tolerance to heat, a small tolerance to cold, a small tolerance to running on empty.

Especially painful and unsettling for me is running on empty... while you, while most people spend their daily energy allotment on trivial things, and then run on fumes all day.

For me, that is unbearable, intolerable, hell. Continue reading "MVP… Life’s most valuable player? Minimum viable product? What is the connection?"

Life is unnecessarily hard for us. How do I know? We are in it together…

I have found, that the biggest "deterrent" for me from getting something new done is a version of visual/mental overwhelm: when my wires get crossed.

Any occurrence of not understanding something begins the process.

As a dyslexic, this happens quite often, especially when there is a form to fill out: what is most likely normal for people with a normal brain is gobbledygook 1 to me.

Now, it is not necessarily their fault...

As I am working in tandem with my marketing client, it is clear that he has none of my difficulties. He has other difficulties, but not brain scramble difficulties.

Continue reading "Life is unnecessarily hard for us. How do I know? We are in it together…"

From time to time I get incoherent.

heart coherence Coherence is when all your energies, all your fibers share the same direction and the same rhythm.

Much like having a six-horse carriage, and the horses pull in the same direction.

Incoherence is like herding cats... hopeless.

I am rarely incoherent. And when I am: I am acutely aware of it. Very unpleasant.

The truth is: I used to be incoherent most of the time.

What is the cause of incoherence? I think, for me, too many choices. And an inability or unwillingness to narrow them down, and maybe choose. Continue reading "From time to time I get incoherent."

How to Develop Emotional Intelligence… what do psychologists say?

This article shows the state of official science for emotional intelligence.

Psychologists are not interested in the groundbreaking work developed in the books Feelings and Words...

Although when you can already recognize your feelings,  their inner dynamics, what they want you to do, what trap you my have stepped, unwittingly, the advice below is quite good.

Until then I don't think it's useful... Or may not be useful.

Even though emotional intelligence is really important to live a good life, to have good relationships, to get things done, to be well... for all of life. Continue reading "How to Develop Emotional Intelligence… what do psychologists say?"