From My Correspondence: I can’t feel anything, can you help?

Dear Sophie,

Please help me if at all possible.

I know I have some emotional blocks somewhere that I can’t clear up on my own. I have tried and for some reason I just can’t do it.

Another empath has helped open up whatever gates that are closed and I could FEEL some things again. I don’t know exactly what is going on, but I know on a certain level that an empath is what I need to be able to feel alive again.

I’m tired of my emotions and actions being on autopilot and just feeling nothing all of the time.

The only real feelings I can feel at times is being neutral (to an extent), some anger, and a kind of sadness.

Where is that feeling of love, of pure selflessness, understanding and devotion that I want to feel again? For some reason, I can only feel those things while I am connected to an empath.

Please, if you can, teach me how to feel again. 🙁

Can’t feel…

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A fresh look at lack of humility… the lack that causes you to not be able to learn new things

I am reading a book that says: the purpose of life is survival. 1

So I am going to look at the issues that hold my students back through that distinction: survival. If what I find is true about my students, it is probably true for other people… as well, maybe even you…

So, the question is: how does lack of humility serve survival… or the illusion of survival? After all an individual’s ability to survive increases greatly by learning new things… and yet.

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Feeling totally stupid…

it always seems impossibleBeing told that you are stupid is one thing. Feeling totally stupid because your cannot seem to be learning something that you need… is that same thing plus.

I haven’t often experienced this before…

I had a real hard time learning Arabic. Danish was another challenge.

Then I had an impossible time learning basic programming: I had to do the class three times to get it.
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Opportunities for growth, opportunity to make a difference

when somebody diesToday I woke up to trouble all around.

My favorite niece died and my checking account is overdrawn.

I know, I know, how can I put something so significant and something so mundane in the same sentence? I see your point. And yet, they happened on the same morning, and both hurt.

I went through many phases of grieving, disbelief, denial, anger, blame, depression… I know there are at least seven predictable phases, who cares.

What do you do when someone dies, someone who you loved, even if you haven’t spoken with her since she was six years old?

Really? And which “you” do I mean?
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Some Kabbalistic Wisdom From my KabbalahChick blog

Seeds of Agenda: What’s In It For You?
Rav Ashlag, founder of The Kabbalah Centre, said that ego-less sharing is almost impossible.

When a person wants to change and transform themselves, they will never do it unless they gets something out of it.

The energy needed for the sharing and caring must come from their ego.

There is a paradox, no doubt. On one hand giving and sharing and caring sounds like it’s not selfish. On the other hand, without a selfish motive, no one will ever share. Mother Teresa, or anyone! But if the giving is selfish, the rewards are all ego-rewards, short term high, long term low…

But here is a move that will surprise you: when you acknowledge your initial selfish motives, the rewards of your giving are longer lasting. But when you think you are doing it out of the goodness of your hearts, there will be a short-circuit at some point in the process.

So, how do you do it?
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How did you get to be the way you are? Unhappy, low vibration, self-conscious, depressed, fearful? How The Dark Side rules you?

evil aka the Dark SideThe following is an excerpt from the novel, The Fountainhead, by Ayn Rand. It is an apt description of how evil takes over the world.

It’s long, but please read it. Read it a few times, so you can identify yourself and the ideology that got you to be miserable, empty, merely surviving. Pay special attention on how guilt plays a role in that.

Enjoy.

Elsworth Toohey is like a spiritual figurehead, a leader, a teacher, a thought leader, like the church…
Peter Keating is like you… hearing for the first time how he has sold his soul and to whom.

We find out who is the Devil, who is the Evil, who is the Dark Side and what how it gains power:
Continue reading “How did you get to be the way you are? Unhappy, low vibration, self-conscious, depressed, fearful? How The Dark Side rules you?”

What is the Self? Part 2

fingerprint-unique-as-self

What is the Self? Part 2

So, the question is still: what is the self, the self that you honor when you talk about integrity? Integrity is being true to your self…

What is the self that you esteem in self-esteem. (Esteem means ‘hold in high regard’)

series-of-fake-indentitiesWhat is the self in self-expression? What is the self that is through and through in authentic self? What is the self that pursues its purpose?

You have no answer, and neither have any real and useful answer the videos on youtube, or philosophical books. What they do is create more confusion, lump the self together with ego, or with consciousness… well, they are all confused puppies, sorry.

So what is MY answer, and why is it more valid than famous people’s “answer”?
Why is it, that wherever you look, there is verbal and real confusion, and no one has an answer.

The question is: is this part of the millennia old effort to reduce humanity to sheep?
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Worlds Apart: the two basic world views every world view belongs to… Part 2: Comparison

selfish-selfless-ying-yang2Like you, I want certainty. Like you, I want to be sure. Like you, I want to understand how the world works.

Why? Because we are coming from a personal world view that Life is dangerous. Or something to that effect.

shrinkingOsho has a theory that when you are born and have to suddenly and without preparation leave the safety and luxury of the womb, your first emotional response is fear. Especially if you are born in a delivery room with glaring lights, lots of noise, and someone holding you upside down and slapping your bottom to make you breathe.

L. Ron Hubbard (of Dianetics fame) adds that people talk in the delivery room, and you absorb all of it as if it were the truth about you. One of my students had a hard time getting through the birth canal, and was stuck for a while. “She is stuck…” the doctor said, and she’s been stuck ever since.

shrinking-human-safety-certaintyAnother student of mine (probably) heard in the delivery room “I can’t feel anything” and lo and behold, he can’t feel anything. Hunger, anger, love… none of it.

Now, whether that is the reason, or it is cultural, it is immaterial. You live in a world where the mood is: The world is dangerous, mistakes are bad, you need to know, and therefore you are incessantly looking for a safer way to live.

In that environment, you “buy” anything that sounds like an explanation to all the strange things you hear or feel. You follow anyone “who has the answer.” You follow religions, gurus, teachers, you become vegetarian, fruitarian, anything to avoid the uncertainty of life, i.e. life itself.

You are like the ostrich that hides his head in the sand to avoid confronting life.
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Case Study: Vik Day 8-16

[8/1/2011 11:48:42 AM] Vik: hi
[8/1/2011 11:50:16 AM] Sophie Maven: no report today?
[8/1/2011 11:50:27 AM] Vik: will send it in sometime
[8/1/2011 11:50:30 AM] Vik: how am i progressing
[8/1/2011 11:50:39 AM] Sophie Maven: how was work today?
[8/1/2011 11:50:48 AM] Vik: work was good
[8/1/2011 11:50:55 AM] Sophie Maven: I expected that
[8/1/2011 11:51:03 AM] Vik: but towards the evening i felt lethargic
[8/1/2011 11:51:07 AM] Vik: and energies scattered
[8/1/2011 11:51:50 AM] Sophie Maven: you are just under 270. It is not a straight line. I am having a very difficult day today… and I am at 795…

Continue reading “Case Study: Vik Day 8-16”