A life you love can be built at any age… if you keep some simple rules

house of cards. the bottom card is the linchpinIn search of quick transformation…

This is a long article, first showing what doesn’t work, why, and then it takes you to what does…

One of the things about humans is arrogance.

Arrogance is not what you think it is… arrogance is really an attitude where you assume superiority where you have none…

Which is, in an ordered universe… EVERYWHERE.

But you, in your arrogance, ignore that you were born into some already existing order… and you behave like you can do whatever you goddamn want… and expect that it is going to work. 1 Continue reading “A life you love can be built at any age… if you keep some simple rules”

The many ways to be unhappy, the only way to be happy…

I am out of here attitudeI mean this article to be the first installment in a series.

The underlying principle is the Anna Karenina principle

The Anna Karenina principle

The Anna Karenina principle is: good systems must meet simultaneously a number of requirements. All good systems are alike, bad systems are bad in their own way

Tolstoy said: Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way

Aristotle said: success/failure: …it is possible to fail in many ways (for evil belongs to the class of the unlimited, as the Pythagoreans conjectured, and good to that of the limited), while to succeed is possible only in one way (for which reason also one is easy and the other difficult — to miss the mark easy, to hit it difficult); for these reasons also, then, excess and defect are characteristic of vice, and the mean of virtue;

good/bad: …For men are good in but one way, but bad in many.

But under the Anna Karenina principle there is an even deeper layer, the cause of the principle, and that is what we are interested in here. Continue reading “The many ways to be unhappy, the only way to be happy…”


authenticityI am a foreigner. I learned the English words, one by one, but I started to learn the being associated, the being meant by some words when I was 38 and started the work of transformation.

The first being word I looked into was generosity. I was still a beginner at distinguishing.

Distinguishing is the art of precision, what it is and what it isn’t. What it isn’t distinguishes something a lot better than trying to explain what it is. Interesting, isn’t it?

I had to learn the hard way what generosity isn’t, how “generosity” can and does make enemies of friends, destroys you in the process, while it builds your ego to sky high.

The second being word was authenticity. Not much can be found anywhere about that being, because it is near extinct, because authenticity flies in the face of what society wants of you: society wants you to suppress who you really are, and pretend to be part of the group… to want what “they” want, not what you want.
Continue reading “Authenticity”

From my mailbox: How do I deal with being scared?

A woman is like a tea bag: you cannot tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water. -Nancy Reagan Same is true about a student, or a client…

Emailed Question:

Hello Sophie,
I was on your webinar (the new context webinar!) this past Wed July 17th. I don’t know if this is something that is of any importance to you, but you scare the s-h-i-t out of me. I’m not looking for a hug or anything. However, I spent a good deal of time being concerned that I’m going to piss you off and get deleted from the call.

I’ve been kicked off of a connection call before, and it feels horrible.

I realize that I need to be on these calls.

I also realize that I have to experience discomfort when getting to the truth about myself. So, here’s what I really want to know: what in the world do I or any of your other attendees do when we feel fear of being cut off? I certainly can’t go online to find another Sophie. If this issue is not worthy of being addressed, than disregard this email and this message will self-destruct. lol Thanks for reading


My answer: (expanded for this article)

Dear B.

I know I am tough on the calls. I need to get the job done, and I need tough students: doing the work of transformation is not for sissies. Transformation will first cause pain and then freedom… and the pain is significant.
Continue reading “From my mailbox: How do I deal with being scared?”